Letters to the Forum: The Intervention
by Ahmenet
Summary: Kakashi relay's a hilarious adventure to Penthouse magazine.  Lemons in the future.  Full spectrum of characters.  Reviews appreciated.  Some minor Lemons and Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**This is crack so sit back and enjoy. I don't own Naruto and I doubt they'd hire me anyway.**

Dear Penthouse forum,

I never thought I'd be writing a letter like this, but then I suppose no one does. You see I was abducted by a group of former students and… wait; I think I should start from the beginning. Let's see. I guess it all started when…

_(Shimmering fade into flashback)_

Sakura was sitting on the steps to the small apartment building, the lower half of her face covered by a book. Her eyes looked stricken and glazed. Ino stopped and sat down next to her.

"What are you reading?"

Sakura cut her eyes to Ino.

"It's one of Kakashi's books."

Ino blinked then squealed. She reached out for the book only to have it yanked away.

"Oh come on! You have to let me look! The smut in there could turn Choji's stomach for a week! Asuma would be forever in my debt."

The pink-haired girl lowered the book to show a horrified face. Ino rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Pa-lease! Have you SEEN the way Choji eats? It's not like he's going to starve. And maybe he'll learn something."

Sakura shook her head.

"That's not it." She lifted the book and turned it so Ino could see the pages. "It's not porn. It's a romance novel."

Ino blinked and took the book.

"No way." She tossed a hand at Sakura before taking the book and flipping pages. "You just haven't got to the good part yet."

As she thumbed her eyes got bigger and bigger. Sakura cleared her throat and Ino looked up.

"I read it twice. I thought maybe I'd just missed something so I went back. This is my third time through and… nothing."

She looked off into the street, her face pale.

"It's not that bad. Really. Maybe it's just this one doesn't have any pictures and…"

Sakura grabbed the blonde kinoichi and shook her violently.

"You don't understand! I looked on the shelf! They're ALL like this! It isn't just the lack of sex. The women are cooing and pitiful. They hang on the pants legs of the men most of the time. And the men… THE MEN! Oh, GOD! They're thin and androgynous and They have FEELINGS! And they express them ALL THE TIME! It's sappy and gooey and…" She let go of Ino just as suddenly as she grabbed her and leaned over the edge of the steps as she tossed her cookies.

Ino rubbed her back and held her hair, trying to reassure her that everything would be alright. She registered the shadow looming over her and the hot smell of dog breath.

"What's wrong with Sakura?" Kiba leaned over them and peered at the puddle that had once been Sakura's breakfast. He wrinkled his nose and backed up a step. "Do we need to take her to the hospital?"

Ino shook her head and looked up at Kiba gravely as Sakura finally finished and whimpered a little.

"Kakashi reads romance novels."

There was a heavy thud and Akamaru whined as he snuffled Kiba's face.

"Kiba? Kiba, are you alright?" Ino stepped away from a dazed Sakura to make sure Kiba wasn't bleeding or otherwise hurt. She'd never seen anyone just drop like that from shock. After see that he wasn't injured, Ino looked up as Shikamaru made his way down the road. He took one look at them, shook his head and kept walking. She could distinctly read his lips as he mouthed "to troublesome" on his way by.

"What did he do to piss you off?" Ino stood at the sound of Shino's voice, noticing Hinata sitting beside Sakura on the steps. Kiba groaned behind her and she let out a sigh.

"Nothing. He passed out." She turned and offered Kiba a hand. Shino offered him another and together they pulled the dog-nin to his feet.

"Sorry," Kiba rubbed the back of his head and blushed. "It was just a shock, that's all."

"Shock about what?" Naruto sauntered up to the group with a cocky grin and a hand behind his head.

"Kakashi reads romance novels." Ino intoned

There was a pause as everyone seemed to take that in. Hinata grabbed the book out of Sakura's limp fingers and started thumbing through it. Kiba dropped down next to Sakura on the steps. They were now both wearing similar glazed expression. She couldn't tell what Shino was thinking since she couldn't see him. Naruto didn't look surprised in the least.

Everyone turned to stare at the orange clad nin. He looked around the group and adopted a confused expression.

"What?" He blinked at the others.

"I thought you said you'd never read one of these books?" Sakura asked, still dazed.

"I said I'd only read about ten pages into it. It was so boring I put it down. Pervy Sage got really mad when I told him it sucked." He grinned again and walked over to lean against the railing on the steps.

Shino made a sound and everyone turned to him. He might have looked at everyone but no one was really sure. He just stared in their general direction.

"Shino, ANBU's gonna think you're drug pusher if you keep layering on the clothes." Naruto said from his post by the stairs.

Kiba tipped over and rolled with fits of laughter. Shino kicked him in the ribs. He groaned but he didn't stop laughing.

"THAT is none of your concern. Besides, it isn't the topic under discussion." Shino said coolly.

Hinata wondered momentarily if that meant Shino really WAS trafficking drugs before shaking off the thought and moving back to the problem at hand. "I th- thought Kaka- ashi read p-porn."

Kiba sat up as he composed himself and asked, "Can you READ porn? I thought you just looked at it?" Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Back to the issue." Sakura barked, having finally found her nerve. "We have to do something about this. It's just not normal."

Hinata looked up with a light blush on her cheeks. "M-m-maybe he l-likes romance."

"Actually, he's gay." Shino chimed in.

_Thud_, Ino looked over to see Kiba stretched out on the ground again. "Again?" She leaned over as everyone else gaped at Shino.

"It all fits," he continued. "He reads romance novels. He doesn't date. He spends a considerable amount of time with Genma…"

"Wait!" Ino, Sakura and Hinata screamed at the same time.

"What?" Shino said as he wisely stepped back from three very red faced women.

There was a whistle from behind them and Shino turned to see Shikamaru standing behind him taking in the situation.

"Couldn't help but overhear the conversation, and believe me, I was trying. What's this I hear about Kakashi and Genma being gay?" Shikamaru asked matter-of-factly.

Shino's chest expanded but before he could speak Ino chimed in.

"Kakashi reads romance novels."

Everyone waited as Shikamaru digested the fact then blew out a sigh.

"Alright. When do you get started?"

"Get started on what?" Naruto asked.

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows and spoke as if it were obvious.

"The intervention, of course."

**Next up: A plan is formed, Lee discovers the joys of reading, and why does Shino think Genma's gay?**

**Read and Review please!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Naruto.**

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Let's see. Where was I? Oh yes. The Intervention. At least that's what they were calling it. It seems my choice of literature had set them off. So they came up with a plan to...

_(Shimmering fade to flashback)_

"What do you suggest?" Sakura asked from the wooden target post on the training field. She'd taken one as her seat when they'd moved from the crowded main streets to the much more secluded training area. She swung her booted feet, occasionally hitting Shino in the head. He'd have moved but Akamaru was sitting on him.

"Well. First off we need to consider slowly easing Kakashi into a more conventional from of male entertainment. Since he seems to enjoy the more 'romantic' side of his fantasy, maybe we could come up with some books that have a decidedly more adult content to them." Shikamaru lectured to the group. "We all need to go looking. I know some of you don't read but you can ask around. See who the good authors are. Come up with some suggestion. The rest of us can look through our own collections and see what we come up with."

Kiba scratched behind his neck and twisted his nose this way and that. "Why not just give him some porn?"

There was a collective groan from the group before Ino smacked him on the back of the head.

"No good," Shikamaru explained. "This has to be slow. If we hit him too hard and too fast he'll run. We have to lure him in. Once we've achieved this then we move to more aggressive measures."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Ino jumped up and dropped a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Come on, girl. Lets go dig up the smut."

"I'm on it." Sakura cheered and both girls headed out.

Shikamaru yelled at their retreating backs as the others slowly go to their feet. "We meet back here in one hour!"

Sakura and Ino tossed a wave his way and the group dispersed to find suitable material for the first phase of the plan.

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The pile of books was as tall as the target posts. Everyone eyed them as they waited for Shikamaru to go through them. He picked up the first book and started to skim the contents. After a moment he looked up at Sakura and nodded.

"This might work. It's still a little romancey but the action takes some of the fluff out. Plus the sex scenes are pretty hot." He picked up the other three Sherrilyn Kenyon books and put them in a pile. "This is the day one delivery pile. We're going to spend the next three day's delivering a set of books to Kakashi's home. We'll start with the lighter stuff and work him up to more graphic details."

Everyone looked at the pile of books and wondered what the shadow-nin had brought that would qualify as "graphic details".

He lifted the next book and leafed through it. When he looked up he blinked. "Shino. This is Yaoi."

Shino nodded sagely but didn't say anything. Kiba fell over causing Ino to groan and Akamaru to whine. Shikamaru just whistled and turned to put the book in a pile.

"We'll just put this one in the 'emergency' pile." He shook his head at Shino one last time before picking up another book.

As Shikamaru read, Naruto leaned over and tapped Shino's knee.

"Hey Shino? What makes you think Genma is gay?"

Sakura and Hinata groaned as the bug-nin turned in the general direction of Naruto. His high collar moved as he spoke. "Since you're obviously on innocent about the ways of men, women and sexual nature, Naruto, I'll simply state the facts."

Naruto huffed and crossed him arms. "Yeah, yeah, so spill already!"

Shino nodded. "As I was saying, it's obvious he's gay for several different reasons. One, he dates a large number of women but no more than once. Two, he spends as much free time as possible with a few specific peers, all of the same gender. Three, he is carefully groomed and meticulously clean even on missions. And Four, he is never seen without a senbon in his mouth, an obvious phallic symbol he uses to assuage his oral fixation."

Naruto stared, shocked at the bug boy. "You have spent waaaaaaaaay too much time thinking about that." He moved back into his place in the line of teens and leaned back against the target post, eying Shino warily while Sakura attempted speaking through the fish mouth she was making. Hinata blushed furiously and Ino beat Kiba on the back with more force than was necessary to stop the coughing fit he'd fallen into.

Shikamaru cleared his throat and eyed Kiba as the coughing subsided into pained groans. "Kiba? Where did you find this?"

Kiba looked at the book in question and shrugged. "It was in Hana's bookcase. I figured it should be worth something."

The shadow-nin shuddered as he took one last look at the book in his hands and its companions. The Black Jewel Trilogy was most definitely NOT what they were looking for. He tossed it in the reject pile. Then moved on to the next.

The sounds of a loud male followed by running feet had all of their heads turning as Lee came running down the hill backwards with a flustered TenTen at his toes.

"Lee you idiot! Turn around before you fall one your ass!" TenTen screamed, slowing as she spotted the group at the practice grounds. "Oiy, Sakura!" She called, since the pink haired girl was the only one she could see clearly.

"Sakura? My Lotus Blossom?" Lee turned in mid run and tripped over his own feet. He landed face first in front of the plotting group and slid an inch or two before coming to a stop with dirt up to his nose.

"Hi, Lee." Naruto said, cheerily. Everyone else mumbled a bewildered hello before returning their attention to Shikamaru.

TenTen reached down and pulled Lee up my the back of his green tights. "So, what are you guys doing out here?" She said patting Lee on the back to help him cough up the dirt.

Ino looked over her shoulder and said tonelessly, "Kakashi reads romance novels."

"Wha..." TenTen's eye started to twitch. "But... I thought it was porn?" She looked to the rest of the group. They all shook their heads in shamed silence.

Lee, having cleared the dirt from his mouth, if not his face, added with flowing gestures, "Romance is a noble art! To put the beauty of youth into words on paper is a gift! Kakashi is a wise man to read the words of youthful flowering beauty!"

Naruto blew out a puff of air. "It's hard to take you seriously, Lee, when you're wearing a mud-stash."

Lee looked confused for a moment before glancing at the pile of books in front of Shikamaru. "What are these?"

Shikamaru looked up from the book in his hand and smiled benignly at Lee. "Specialized Romantic Text." Everyones head shot in the direction of Shikamaru as he lifted a book from the bottom and handed it to Lee. "Why don't you take a look at this one? I'm sure you'll find it full of youth and beauty."

Lee gleefully took the book and dropped cross legged on the ground in front of the group. Kiba leaned forward and peered at the book in Lee's hand then turned to Ino. "What's The Kama Sutra?"

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An hour later TenTen had been brought up on the details of the plan. She'd been more than willing to help out with this stage and all others. Shikamaru had FINALLY gotten through enough of the Anita Blake series to pick which books would be useful and found that the Merry Gentry series would also be helpful. He put some in the day two stack and a few others in the day three, then picked up the last book.

Lee was still sitting in front of the group. Over the course of the hour he'd grown more and more quiet. And though the group was delighted of the silence, they had started to worry. That is until Lee had lifted his head enough to move his bangs and show a glazed over smile with drool dripping from the side. At the moment TenTen was sitting next to him with a clothe and wiping at the drool that continued to fall as he flipped back and forth between a set of five pages that were covered in drawings. Naruto had looked over his shoulder once, blinked a few times then sat back as if contemplating. No one wanted to ask what.

It was at that moment that Shikamaru choked and looked up at Hinata. "Where did you find this book?" He asked in stunned disbelief.

Hinata blushed bright red and stammered. "I-i-it was in t-the li-libr- library?" she finished on a squeak.

Shikamaru flipped back to the front of the book and looked down, all the color draining from his face. "Then why does it say 'from the private desk of Hyuuga Hinata'?" He looked a little ill and now everyone was looking at the book.

Kiba took matters into his own hands and snatched the book from Shikamaru's grasp. "Who's Morgan Hawke... WHOA!!!" He flipped through a few pages and then a few more. Each stop widened his eyes even more. "Hinata? You READ this?"

She was still red but sniffed as she turned away from the stares. "I find her b-books hi-hi-highly entertaining."

The shadow-nin blinked as if he'd never seen her before. "I'll just bet you do."

There was a moment of silence finally broken by Naruto jumping to his feet and stretching.

"So," he chimed as he bounced a few times in place. "Where's the first batch to go? Kakashi's due back tonight, so we'd better get them to his door before he gets in."

"Agreed." Shino intoned.

Everyone but Lee and Kiba nodded, both having their head stuck in a book.

"Alright. Ino can take the books up now. Leave them at the door for him. Make it look like a normal delivery." Ino nodded and lifted the small pile of books. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Operation Intervention is now underway. We meet back here three days from now to start phase two. Lets move." Shikamaru leapt for the trees as the others made their way off the training field, Sakura helping Ino with the books.

And as the sun set, two lone figures could be seen, one against each post, sweat dropping from their brows and blood running from their noses.

"And to think," Kiba murmured to a drowsy Akamaru as he turned another page, "I never even LIKED reading."

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**Hope this wets everyones appetite. As always, please read and review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Naruto. Yadda Yadda Yadda…**

For the next three day's I found a set of books sitting at my door. I never actually read them. Not my cup of tea, but I didn't think it was right to simply leave them out there. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at what happened next. You see…

_(Shimmering vintage fade to flashback)_

It had been three days and the group was seated at the practice grounds after running off a group of genin. Seems telling them you were the new proctors of the chunnin exams and would fail them if they didn't beat it was a perfect way to clear a field. Of course, they could have gone with Kiba's idea but no one wanted to scar the kids for life.

"It's day three. What do you have to report?" Shikamaru lorded over the group.

Everyone gave him a quizzical look. It seems they hadn't covered this part of their mission in their hurry to get started. Shikamaru was chagrin to find he'd slipped by this much. Apparently Kiba wasn't the only shinobi who was having trouble dealing with the prospect of a pure and chaste Kakashi. Except Shino, who thought almost every jonin in town was gay.

"Well, since his patterns haven't changed and none of us have been approached by the target, we need to move on to phase two of our plan." Shikamaru lectured.

"So, what's phase two?" Sakura said from her perch on the target post. "Kidnapping and reprogramming?"

Everyone turned wide eyes on Sakura.

"What?" She swung her feet lightly with a dreamy smile on her face.

"Oiy Sakura, you've really put some thought into that." Naruto chimed in with a wary look.

"A little too much thought." Ino intoned.

"Sounds like a GREAT idea to me! When do we get started?" TenTen called with enthusiasm.

Shikamaru shook his head and blew out a puff of air before staring up at the clouds. _When did my life get so troublesome?_ He thought as he stared up at the passing clouds. Moments passed and the others wondered if the lazy ninja had fallen asleep. He had, in fact but was rudely awakened by bad breath and a wet tongue. "That had better be Akamaru."

"So what's the plan?" Kiba asked, pulling his companion back to him.

Shikamaru sat up and crossed his arm. "We collect visual stimulation. Anything that has both words and pictures to help his mind see something other than his own imagination. Since his imagination seems to be limited in this arena, I think we should stick with magazines and books. We just need to collect them and…"

"There's one problem with that." Shino said. "We're underage. We can't buy the books at the stand nor get them from the library."

"I can always get medical books from Tsunada. Since I use them all the time she won't asked questions if I borrow them." Sakura offered.

Hinata spoke up then. "But won't medical books scare Kakashi?" Everyone looked at her. She blushed and looked down. "I m-me-mean, won't they b-be a little to d-d-detailed for him? They are ki-kind of g-gr-graphic."

"She's right. This needs to be books for the general populace. Something you can get at the market." Shikamaru decreed.

"Porn." Kiba said and eyed Hinata from the opposite side of Akamaru.

"Which we can't buy." Repeated Shino.

They all pondered this new problem for several moments. At least most of them did. Naruto started picking his nails and Kiba scoped out Hinata. Finally TenTen looked up, her face alight but stern.

"I think I know where we can get what we're looking for." She started. "But I'm going to need Hinata's help to get it."

Ino scoffed. "Since when do you have porn?"

"I don't." TenTen smiled. "But I know someone who does."

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TenTen stopped in front of the door to the small Hyuuga house with Hinata by her side. Both girls looked at the other and with a nod knocked together. Moments passed and the sound of footsteps was followed shortly by the door swinging open. Neji Hyuuga stood framed in the door staring down at his cousin and his teammate. The look on his face showed relief and both girl puzzled over it.

"I'm glad they finally sent someone over here, though I didn't expect it to be you, TenTen. Thanks for showing her in, Hinata." Neji stepped back to allow the girls inside.

They both hesitated. Neji never let ANYONE in his home unless they forced their way in. He noticed their unease and sighed.

"The ANBU didn't send you did they?" He stretched an arm to indicate they should enter and closed the door as they shrugged and moved inside.

"I'm sorry. It's just that he's been so… well, he's Lee. That's the only explanation I have for him."

They moved down a small hall and into the back corner room. There, on a small bedroll lay a dirty, smiling Lee. He was also, from what could be seen through the sheet, completely naked.

"What happened?" Hinata stared wide eyed at the older boy. He was still sporting his mud-stache from their last meeting.

"I don't know. The ANBU brought him by early yesterday morning. Seems for the past two days he's been spotted running naked in the streets, performing acrobatic and contortion moves for anyone who would watch. Apparently a lot of parents were getting worried about their daughters. Then yesterday morning he was on the main road spouting poetry and asking the favor of some young ladies to share the beauty of the youthful love he'd recently learned. Since he was still naked they picked him up, but they couldn't deal with him. He kept 'performing' for the female ANBU." TenTen shuddered. "So they brought him hear and told me to keep an eye on him until they could get someone to pick him up. I thought it was odd they'd send you but since you're closer to his family compound I just thought maybe…"

They all took another look at the sleeping green menace. Images of his two day romp through the streets filled all of their heads and they moved as one out the door before their nightmare became a reality and he woke.

Neji closed the door with a sigh. "I'm beginning to think I'm going to have to keep him." He shuddered. "So, what brings you here? Was there something you needed?"

He was back to being his stoic self.

"I'm s-sorry we bothered y-you cousin." Hinata blushed lightly and hung her head.

Neji's brow furrowed and TenTen glared at him, letting him know if he said anything negative she'd make him pay. He glared at her but answered politely if a bit stiffly.

"It's no bother, cousin." He turned and started for the front of the house.

_So much for a tour_, TenTen thought. But since she was sure he'd had a bad night with Lee in the house she cut him a little slack and decided to cut to the chase.

"Neji." She stopped as they reached the door and Neji turned as he reached for the handle. "We need your porn."

His hand hesitated on the door as he looked at her with sick horror. His gazed moved to Hinata standing behind her and he pushed open the door with more force than was necessary. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He said in the snottiest voice he could muster. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to…"

"I'll take Lee with me." TenTen cut in.

"I'll get the Penthouse."

Neji shut the door and headed to his room. TenTen and Hinata smiled and bumped hips.

"That was easier than I thought." Hinata spoke softly.

TenTen breathed on her nails and polished them on her chest.

"When opportunity knocks, swing open the door and drag it in kicking and screaming."

Hinata thought about that and as visions of a spiky haired blond shinobi filled her head. She smiled. "When opportunity knocks. I'll have to remember that."

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**Well, hope it's enough to keep everyone's interest. Next up, phase three and some new faces.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Naruto. Poor world.**

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Over the next three day's I was bombarded by copy's of magazines featuring women in little to no clothing and small phrases to describe their activities or other vital points about them (though I don't know how a woman enjoying being smeared in honey and left for a wicked ferocious bear to 'devour' her could be considered vital). Though this wasn't something I'd normally find of interest I did begin to enjoy the correspondence and articles also featured. On the third day, however, I realized I was being watched...

_(dramatic musical fade to flashback)_

The group decided to meet at Ichiraku's to hand in reports. Neji would have liked to believe the choice of food had been Naruto's but was surprised to find it had been TenTen's idea. Not that he cared. As long as he didn't have to look over Lee any longer they could eat pretzels in a bar. From the corner of his eye he saw Uzumaki Naruto standing in the entrance of an alley. He raised his hand to wave then stopped and slowed his steps. A figure moved up behind the young blond and held out a rolled scroll. Naruto took it without looking back then the figure leaned in. It was ANBU. The mask a stilted pattern of black and red. There must have been a brief word said because the boy nodded then the ANBU slipped back into the shadows of the alley. By this time Neji had stopped in the middle of the street, someone bumped him and dropped a bag. Neji bent to retrieve it and having apologized for being in the way, turned back to see Naruto was gone. He scanned the area for a moment then left to meet with the others. He only wondered what ANBU would be delivering to the blond Genin and if Naruto knew he'd been watching?

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"So what's the plan now?" Sakura sat with one leg crossed over the other at one end of the long table, a bowl of tonkotsu ramen in her hand. The creamy sauce dripping from the ends of her chop sticks.

"Well, with Naruto's report it seems our last attempt didn't go all that well." Shikamaru told the group.

"How do you mean?" TenTen asked around a boiled egg.

"It seems he's reading the articles." Shikamaru explained.

"Reading the... no one reads the articles." Neji stated with mild irritation. If all the man was going to do was read them, he wanted them back. He hadn't slept well in the past three days since he gave them to TenTen. He was glad to be rid of Lee but it was pointless to waste good material on someone who was only going to_ read _it.

"Apparently Kakashi does." Ino intoned as she pushed her empty bowl aside.

"Might I make a suggestion?" Shino asked.

"No!" The entire group yelled at once, earning a few started looks from the tables around them. Choji looked up from his meal and waved to the group before standing and moving over to join them.

"What's going on?" Choji asked as he swallowed the last of his meal and sat at the other end of the table from Sakura.

"Kakashi reads romance novels." Ino said plainly.

"No kidding?" Choji replied and lifted a noodle from Shikamaru's nearly untouched bowl.

The group gave a collective sigh and moved on to the subject at hand.

"So, since phase one and two were a bust it's on to phase three." Shikamaru laid out a map of the village marked in specific areas. "First off, we need to get our hands on some 'educational' videos. The more graphic the better." He spread a hand over the map and started pointing to the marked areas. "Next, we secure the subject. These are Kakashi's usual haunts. We need to try and find out which days and times are most consistent then..."

"Snatch and Grab! Got it!" Sakura announced.

The room focused on them again but as the silence grew attention began to dissipate. Neji eyed the map in front of Shikamaru, recognizing it as the scroll given to Naruto in the alley. Curious?

"As I was saying,"Shikamaru continued in a much more subdued tone. "We need to pinpoint where he spends the most time at the same time every day."

All eyes blinked and Kiba rubbed his temples. Shikamaru huffed and leaned back in his chair.

"If he keeps changing location every day we'll never catch him. We need to find the one consistency in his day. The one place he goes every day that is relatively empty of pedestrians so we don't get caught."

All mouths formed a silent "O" of understanding and all heads nodded.

"How a-about h-h-here?" Hinata leaned over the table and pressed her finger to a spot on the map.

Shikamaru did a double take from the map to Hinata's shirt. Was it lower cut than usual? He didn't remember Hinata showing cleavage before? Someone cleared their throat and the shadow-nin shook himself, looking back to the map.

"The monument at the grave site?" He looked up at Hinata puzzled.

She blushed but continued ahead, excited that Naruto had noticed Shikamaru's stare and called him on it. Even if it was only clearing his throat. "I go on a t-training run every m-m-morning." She cleared her own throat and inwardly steadied her nerves. This was a report. Nothing to be bashful over. "I pass by on my way back to the grounds. He's a-always there."

Everyone stopped to think this over. Akamaru yipped and scratched behind his ear.

"So we grab him at the marker... and what?" Ino asked.

"First we need to make preparations. Naruto, you said you have someone keeping an eye on him right now?" Shikamaru glanced at the blond.

"Yeah." Naruto lifted both arms behind him head. Two heads moved with the expansion of his chest. "They'll keep an eye on him for us."

"Who?" Neji cut in. "Who's watching Kakashi for us?"

Naruto grinned stupidly and laughed. "Ah, never mind that! It's just someone I promised a favor to, thats all."

Everyone rolled their eyes, no doubt believing the most unpredictable knuckle headed ninja had gotten Konohamaru to spy for him. Most likely he'd be spotted but they were all capable ninja. They had no doubt they would be able to catch the crafty jonin.

"Alright. Let's hear some suggestions on material." Shikamaru looked over the group.

Choji, who'd been mostly ignored and had taken Shikamaru's ramen, looked up from the now empty bowl and tapped the table with his chop sticks. "I know where you can find some."

Everyone stared. Choji looked around the table as he lifted a napkin to his lips. "What? Asuma has a ton of stuff at his place. I can show you if you want."

Shikamaru and Ino both blinked.

"How do you know about video's at Asuma's place?" Shikamaru asked suspiciously. "I've never seen any."

"They're in the back, past the bedroom. No one goes back there but him and..."

"Then how do YOU know about it." Ino cut in.

"He gave me a couple and told me it would help me understand a few things..." Choji blushed and looked out the door to the shop. Across the street a young girl stood behind the counter at the barbecue stand, smiling and waving."

"Ooooooh! That's soooo cute!" Ino squealed.

The guys rolled their eyes and Choji waved back at the young girl before turning back to the conversation.

"Can you get us in?" Shino asked with obvious lack of faith.

"Sure," Choji said with a smile. "I have a key."

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

As one, the group of ten stepped into Asuma Sarutobi's home. It was well kept and nicely furnished. Music was coming from the back of the house.

"I thought you said he wasn't home?" Sakura asked as they walked down the hall toward the back rooms.

The music was emanating from an open door on the left and a bookshelf could be plainly seen from the door at the end of the hall.

"He's on a mission. Won't be back until tomorrow." Shikamaru replied. "We have a shogi match the next day. I'm hoping we're done with this by then. I don't want to miss winning another free meal."

Ino snickered and Choji smiled as they came up to the room with the blaring music. It was the bedroom. Something with a heavy bouncing beat was playing inside and the door to the bathroom was open, steam pouring out. Everyone stuck their nose in the door to see and Choji started to pull it closed when a hand emerged from the cloud of smoke. It was soon followed by a leg and them a white clad hip. The hip disappeared back into the fog only to come out again as the music tempo picked up. Everyone stared, rooted to the spot as two small feet pushed and slid across the floor in some strange dance move, followed by a set of bare wet shoulders shrouded by black hair. The arms slid out behind the figure again and this time a well rounded, towel covered ass shook it's way out of the steam and across the floor. Everyone sweat dropped as Kurenai threw her arms up over her head and did a full body sway that made the towel slip slightly to show a peek at the round sides of her breast.

"Oh, don't worry about her. She's always here." Choji told the others.

Kurenai spun on a heel and the towel fell off.

_Thud..._

"Oh for the love of... KIBA! GET UP!!"

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**We're not just yet folks. Next up, picking suitable porn. Read and Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**(to the tune of I don't like your girlfriend) HEY, hey, YOU, you ! I don't own Naruto. That's right! No Way! You know I'd really like to!**

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

Choji stepped over the twitching body of Kiba and walked toward the last door. Naruto turned and followed. Ino and Sakura knelt by their fallen comrade and Shino lowered his glasses for a moment before pushing them back up and heading after Naruto and Choji.

"I got shogi and Choji gets this!" Shikamaru's voice squeaked at the end. "My life is so unfair."

Neji had placed his hands in front of his eyes but TenTen doubted it was making any difference since his Byakugan was active. She snorted and looked into the room at a naked and very voluptuous Kurenai. She crossed her arms over her own less than ample chest and sighed. She'd have to ask Shizune if there were medicines for breast enhancement.

Kurenai finally got the towel back up but couldn't seem to find her voice. She looked at the few ninja still standing in the doorway and decided to go with questions first.

"What are all of you doing here?" There. That was a good start. Make it look like their fault.

"We came to get a few videos. What are you doing here?" It wasn't lost on the girls that Shikamaru spoke the entire sentence to her chest.

"Well, I was... getting a drink and few... um... books when I spilled the drink and it got on my clothes and since they were wet I had to change them and..."

Hinata and TenTen stared. Shikamaru nodded with the bounce of her breasts. So did Neji though he still had his hand in front of his eyes. And Ino and Sakura finally got Kiba off the floor and headed toward the back room.

"... I turned on the music while of was showering. You know... to get the sticky drink off... not the music... the shower. And then I came out and heard Choji and saw you were here and..."

"_**I'm**_** not even buying that one." Hinata said as she blinked slowly trying to sort out some kind of sense from that explanation.**

"I've seen what she reads. She would know." Shikamaru intoned as he shook himself and tried wishing the white towel way.

"Excuse me. May I use the bathroom?" Neji asked, then without waiting for a reply moved stiffly into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"Three day's without his smut rags and he can barely function in society. Pitiful." TenTen turned from the door and followed after Choji and the others.

Hinata sighed and turned to go as well, grabbing Shikamaru as she went and dragging him behind her. She stepped into the room and noted the frustrated faces of the girls as they looked over the video's in a cabinet just to the right. Ino was thumbing through one shelf while Kiba growled at another. Sakura's unusually high forehead was wrinkled in concentration as she scanned the five rows of DVD's.

"There's no rhyme or reason to this. It's just jumbled up. How are we suppose to get anywhere just thumbing through." Ino groused.

Kiba dropped down to the bottom shelf and started running his fingers over some of the blank boxes on the bottom shelf. Shino moved with him. Shikamaru looked over the rows then nodded.

"They're alphabetized by cup size." TenTen looked up at the shadow-nin surprised.

"How did you figure that out?" Sakura asked.

"They're labeled." Shikamaru replied.

All three girls sweat dropped.

Hinata leaned down a fiddled with the closed box in the far corner of the cabinet as Kiba stood with a movie in his hand.

"All of these are marked with a date and that's it." Kiba showed the movie to Choji who nodded and took another off the shelf.

"Home videos. He's got a few of them. Not all of them are interesting but a few will make you laugh."

Shikamaru wasn't sure Asuma would like knowing Choji laughed at his home movies with Kurenai. Especially if there were sex involved. Then he reminded himself to have a talk with his former sensei about not sharing the _wealth_ with him.

"HA! I KNEW IT!!" Everyone stopped to stare at Shino who was pointing dramatically at a group of movies apparently hidden behind the home videos.

"Knew what?" Ino protested as she wiggled a finger in her ear to easy the pain.

"This movie is male on male." They all leaned into the movie in question. Sure enough, the title read "Queer and Present Danger". Everyone stared in horror at the other 20 dvd's sitting on the shelf. The front door open and closed as they gaped. Then Kurenai walked into the room fully clothed and holding a scroll.

"Naruto said to give you this and he'd catch up with the group later." She handed it to Shikamaru and looked over their shoulders. "What are you looking at?" Then she saw the video in Shino's hand and blushed. "Oh." She grabbed it out of his hand and pushed through the group to put it back on the shelf. "Those are mine."

_Thud..._

"This is getting old Kiba!" Ino yelled as she bent to pull him into her lap.

Choji noticed Kiba's eyes weren't completely closed and when Ino bent over him he knew he saw a smile. Not as dumb as he looked apparently.

Shino sighed and returned the other videos to the shelf, then leaned into Choji and said in a conspiratorial tone, "She's covering." Choji looked confused but didn't reply. Kurenai simply ignored the exchange as she put the video's back on the shelf and gave herself a mental reminder to get a lock for this cabinet.

"What are these?" Hinata asked softly as she lifted a disk from the box she'd been playing with.

"Let me see." Ino took the disk and read the front. "Kyuubi Dreams. What's that?"

Kurenai looked puzzled. "I don't know. I've never seen this one before."

"Th-there are n-n-nine of them." Hinata said as she lifted the other discs from the box.

"I remember those." Choji spoke from the far side of the room. "Asuma said I couldn't watch them. Something about it just being weird and too fetish for me." He shrugged and headed for the kitchen.

Kurenai started following him, knowing there'd be nothing left come tomorrow if he were left alone.

"You'd better put them back, Hinata. If Asuma says you can't see them then he has his reasons."

"Yes sensei." Hinata place took the disk back from Ino and turned to the box.

Shikamaru stepped toward her with a stack of movies in his hand. "These should do it." He sat the pile next to Hinata and turned to the group at large. He noted Sakura's concerned look as she watched Hinata at the box but chalked it up to the pink haired girls curiosity.

"Alright. We have our material, now all we need is our subject. Information recently received indicates the target will be at the memorial for three hours at sunrise. We will meet one hour before to make preparations and deploy. Neji!" Shikamaru scanned the room.

Neji came flying out of the bedroom with his hands on the tie of his pants. His face was flushed and he looked very relaxed.

"Yeah." The Hyuuga replied amiably.

"I have a mission for you. Deliver this scroll to the Hokage's office. It needs to be there in one hour or the point in moot." Shikamaru handed Neji the scroll Kurenai had handed him earlier.

"I'm on it." Neji replied with a half smile.

All the other members of the group watched him go with varying degrees of confusion.

"Did Neji just smile?" Kiba asked as he reached for the videos next to Hinata.

He felt her hand slap against his and looked over his shoulder at her.

"I-i'll g-ge-ge-get them." She said quietly smiling at him.

"Sure, Hinata." Kiba grinned and left the video's next to her.

"Alright, everyone. We'll meet one hour before dawn. Be prepared. The Subject knows we're watching and is former ANBU. He won't be easy to catch."

Hinata handed him the discs as he reached his hand back. He took the pile and tucked them into his vest.

"Dismissed." He nodded and indicated the door.

The group moved out of Asuma's home one by one, except Choji who stayed in the kitchen. Hinata was the last one out the door. With a smile she closed it tightly and thought about the little knock opportunity had just made on _her_ door.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**Wow. This story is really rolling. Hope you like it. Coming soon: The student vs. teacher. Read and Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Naruto. (Bottom lip quivers) **

The next day started out as any other. I took my morning walk, stopping at a few places along the way. I knew someone had been following me for a day or two now. I just assumed it was a group of students, brushing up on their stealth skills. Little did I know...

_(Scooby-Doo flashback)_

Kiba stretched his legs and cursed the dew covered ground that was soaking through his pants. He'd be uncomfortable all day if they didn't get out of here soon. Akamura yawned widely, his massive jaw cracking as he did it.

"Do we have to sit here in the wet grass and wait for his late ass? I'm gonna get a rash"

"You sh-should have w-w-worn shorts." Hinata replied quietly.

Shino snorted and Shikamaru shook his head. Sakura was sharpening her kunai Naruto snored.

"I didn't think we were going to bleed him?" TenTen commented, watching Sakura smile as she lovingly touched the tip of her weapon with her tongue then continued to sharpen it.

"We aren't." Shikamaru intoned.

The pink-haired girl spun the kunai on her finger then slipped it into the pouch on her thigh. "Sorry, but Kakashi can be... troublesome..." Shikamaru shook his head again. "I just like to be prepared."

Drool ran down Naruto's chin and Sakura wiped it off with a leaf. She turned to catch a glimpse of Hinata giving her a dagger like stare. What was that about?

"I've got him."

Everyone moved to Shino who pointed toward the long path over a sloping heel. A lone Kakashi sauntered over said hill and moved toward the monument at the center of the tiny valley. They all watched as he stood in front of it and started talking. Kiba and Akamaru perked up as if listening then yawned.

"He's just talking about his week. Something about new reading materials and... uh oh." Kiba went quiet and Akamaru took on an aggressive posture.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.

A tree branch snapped overhead and everyone looked up to see Kakashi squatting in the branches and smiling. One of those damned Ich Ich books in his hand.

"Looking for me?"

And then the tree was gone. Again, everyone blinked as Sakura tore the tree in half with a fist, sending Kakashi flying into the field. The copy Kakashi vanished from the monument in a puff of smoke as Naruto took off into the open bowl after him.

"Well, that went well." Shikamaru murmured.

TenTen leaned against a tree as Hinata activated her Byakugan and searched the area.

"There are at least four more. Two coming up on Naruto and two more from the west." Hinata said.

Shino paused. "The real one is coming up on Naruto. We should worry about that those two."

TenTen looked puzzled. "How do you know that?"

Kiba grinned and hopped on Akamaru's back.

"We passed yesterday on the way to dinner. I slipped one of my females on him. I guessed he never took off the mask. I was right."

Shikamaru grinned and TenTen shivered slightly as the thought of sleeping with bugs in her hair made her itch a little.

"You had better hurry Kiba." Hinata said lightly.

"I'm on it." He and Akamaru galloped from the trees into the fray. The copy that had engaged Naruto was long since gone and he and Sakura were looking slowly around the area. Neither looked uncomfortable, nervous or even tense.

"Why are they just standing there?" TenTen asked from her tree perch.

"I could ask the same of you." Shikamaru griped.

"You said we couldn't bleed him. There's not much else I can do at this point."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and waited for the signal. Hinata yelled, "Behind you!" And Naruto jumped in time to miss the hands coming up from the ground as well as the Kakashi leading with a kick to his middle.

"Kakashi, you are sooo predictable." Naruto taunted. Then hit the ground as another Kakashi smacked him on the back of the head.

"Kiba and Akamaru bounded into the Kakashi that had just knocked Naruto to the ground and it disappeared. One well placed hit and the second Kakashi disappeared as well. The underground attacker was still at large.

"He's around here somewhere." Sakura murmured as she helped Naruto to his feet.

The blond rubbed the back of his head then stood perfectly still.

"You feel that?" Kiba asked.

Sakura smiled. "Oh Yeh."

She spun suddenly, her foot making contact with the ground and sending projectiles of dirt and grass in all directions. Kakashi punched from the ground seconds before the widening crack would have revealed his position. Sakura was smiling as she Naruto, Kiba and Akamaru advanced on him.

"I really don't know what you guys are up to, but I'll applaud your efforts. It really was quite a workout and ..."

He stopped, motionless. Arm held up to his shoulders and feet spread a little wider than shoulder length. His overly dark shadow extended into the trees behind him and Shikamaru stepped out with a cocky smirk. Shino, TenTen and Hinata followed in his wake.

"Surprise!" Sakura squealed.

Kakashi looked stunned. Sakura walked up to his frozen form and smiled. He started to sweat. She smiled harder.

"Uh... Sakura?" Naruto began.

Sakura reached up and thumped Kakashi in the forehead. He blinked then slumped. The shadows pulled away and he dropped to the ground.

"What was that for?" Shino asked, mildly shocked.

"He'd have fought this and I can't help myself." She reached down and rolled Kakashi to his back.

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Naruto asked with a smile.

"Yep! What was the bet again? Buck teeth or fish lips?" She reached down and hooked her finger into the material at the bridge of his nose.

"This is so... dirty." TenTen sighed as the group moved in close to watch.

Sakura slowly pulled the mask down Kakashi's face. Prolonging the moment until all eyes were riveted on the site. It cleared his chin and Sakura stood to look down at the face of her former sensei.

They all stared. And stared. And stared.

Minutes ticked by as the group of shinobi stared in varying degrees of fascination at Kakashi's unmasked visage. Heavy rapid breathing was coming from somewhere in the group and a few whimpers could be heard though no one knew if it was Akamaru or Kiba doing it.

"I never thought..." Sakura spoke dumbly

"Who would have guessed?" Naruto spoke in awe.

"I-i-i-i..." Hinata breathed.

Another moment of silence and Shikamaru stepped up with shaking hands to slow slip the mask back over the copy ninjas face.

"What are you doing?" Kiba asked as he shook himself.

"I can't concentrate and Shino is hyperventilating." Shikamaru said tonelessly.

Kiba looked over at Shino who had gone to one knee but was still attempting to look at the now covered Kakashi.

"We need to get him back anyway. Before someone comes by." Shikamaru continued.

There were several nods of agreement and then a wail from the back of the ranks. All eyes turned to see TenTen practically bouncing in place, staring with rapt fascination at Kakashi's prone body.

"What is it, TenTen?" She stopped bouncing and grinned.

"Just one more peak?"

Everyone looked at Shikamaru. Silence.

"Alright. Just one more."

"YES!!"

**Sorry it's short. Next chapter will be the start of some mild lemony goodness. Read and Review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Some mild lemons. I don't own Naruto. Their loss.**

Tsunade growled as she signed off on the extended leave form. Someone always wanted something. But as Shizune had pointed out, every man needs a vacation. Even Kakashi Hatake.

"Hope he enjoys his vacation. I'm going to work his ass over when he gets back."

A nearby ANBU smiled behind her mask. _Oh, he'll enjoy his little break. _She thought. _And get that working over if his former students have anything to do with it._

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

"Is he awake yet?" Kiba asked as he scratched behind Akamaru's ear.

"He's starting to come around." Sakura was holding a light pen up over Kakashi as she checked his pupils.

"What was in that drink you gave him?" Naruto asked from behind the copy-nin.

"A little drug Tsunade showed me how to make. Renders the user unconscious for a small amount of time then keeps him from being able to use chakra once he's conscious. It won't last more than a few hours but I figured we'd be taking breaks. Plus, if our mission succeeds he won't want to leave." She smiled a little to herself as she lowered the pen and stepped back from her former sensei.

"Speaking of missions," Shikamaru looked back at the large entertainment center. "I'll go set these up. I think _Twin Peaks_ will be a good one to start with." He looked at the cover. "Looks like they have some girl on girl action in this one."

As their self appointed leader started working up the system, everyone else turned there attention back to a now stirring Kakashi. His one eye opened slowly and he groaned. Sakura smiled down at him from her standing position.

"Wha...?" Kakashi asked groggily.

"Hello, Kakashi-sensei. How do you feel?" She replied with a smile.

His one eye narrowed and he took her in, then with a glance, everyone else as well. Hinata was fidgeting and glancing back at Shikamaru, Shino was standing by unconcerned (at least from what he could see), Kiba was grinning from ear to ear as as was Naruto. Ino was giving him a pitying look as was Choji. He turned his head a little farther to see Neji glaring at him.

"Where are my books?" Was all the white-eyed boy asked before being pushed aside by a composited Shikamaru.

"Welcome to your intervention, Kakashi. We have a wonderful evening planned for you."

Kakashi blinked at Shikamaru. The boy was a bit fuzzy.

"What did you do... to me?" He asked around a mouth that felt like cotton.

"We've made sure you'll be comfortable for the next few hours. Don't worry. We don't intend to hurt you." Kakashi rolled his eye and Shikamaru continued. "We simply feel that you need a little reeducation. I have to say I'm a little disappointed. I always thought you were a perv. Who'd have guessed you were a sissy."

"Wha?!" Kakashi started only to have a rolled up sock stuffed in his mouth.

"Sorry, about this, but you need to pay attention." Kiba said calmly as he stuffed the sock in place.

"Kiba? Was that your sock?" Ino asked as she stared at the dog-nin's feet.

"Yeah? Why?" He replied.

Kakashi turned a little green while everyone else wrinkled up their noses or gaped openly.

"That's a little... cruel don't you think?" Choji asked as he put his chip bag down on the small table beside him. He picked up the drink next to it and took a long pull, swishing in around in his mouth.

"My feet don't smell." Kiba lifted a foot and sniffed. His eyes rolled back and he hit the floor.

Ino shrugged. "Leave him. I'll get him later."

Shikamaru lifted the remote and smiled.

"Everyone ready?"

All present took up seats next to or behind Kakashi who's eyes were watering profusely. Ino reached down and haul Kiba up next to her.

"I can't take that." Shino reached out and plucked the offending footwear from Kakashi's mouth.

The copy-nin gagged several times until Choji offered him some of his drink. When he'd regained his composure he cleared his throat.

"What are we watching?" He asked calmly while trying to pull chakra to call his nin-dogs.

"Something educational, and don't bother trying to get loose. You can't." Shikamaru stated flatly.

He tried anyway only to find they were right. He could barely move his limbs and couldn't call up any chakra at all.

"Don't get alarmed. Like I said before, we won't hurt you." The shadow-nin finished.

Sakura bounded into her place above and behind Kakashi.

"Alright! Let's get this party started!"

There was a knock on the door which Choji went to check. He returned and looked at Naruto.

"There's ANBU here and they want you. You do something wrong?" He asked the blond shinobi.

"I'll take care of it! You guys go ahead and start." He yelled with a cheery wave and a nervous chuckle as he bounded for the door.

Sakura gave a startled glance in his direction. Since when had Naruto put mail before naked women? She shrugged off the odd thought as Shikamaru remote started the dvd and the movie began.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

_(outside)_

"Time to pay up." The female ANBU stood just outside the entrance staring at blond head peeking out of it.

"NOW? You want to settle up now? I'm kinda in the middle of something here!" Naruto replied with feeling.

"And I'm on a mission in six hours. I want this done before I go." She replied, her expression hidden behind her mask.

Naruto looked back as he stepped outside and closed the door. He caught site of TenTen and Lee making their way to the building, a look of alarm passing his whiskered face.

"Fine, but make it fast!" He loudly whispered. "I don't want them to come looking for me."

"Embarrassed?" She retorted as she ushered him down the stairs just as TenTen and Lee walked up.

The green boy and kunoichi both took note of his leaving with ANBU escort. Not willing to draw attention to themselves then dropped their curious stares and walked by. Leaving Naruto to handle it on his own.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

_The beautiful raven haired beauty lay basking in the late afternoon sun. Her hair floating behind her on a gentle breeze. The small cherry trees shade her on the low hill standing out in the forest. Birds chirp idly and she stretches full length. Her short white gown riding high to show thigh and lower hips of creamy white. Suddenly she stills as a howl pierces the now darkening horizon. She looks around franticly, her gown twisting and twirling around her. Another howl and she begins to run. Breast bouncing she rushes into the woods. Leaves crunch underfoot as she runs barefoot over roots and stumps, the mysterious howl moving ever closer. She trips over a hidden root and flowingly tumbles into the soft bed of grass and leaves below. _

Sakura yawned. When she'd seen the title she'd freaked, thinking for sure they'd stumbling onto information about Naruto and the nine tail fox that none of them were suppose to know. But when the movie began to show credits she was grateful, yet somewhat disturbed to see it was the stage name of the male star, as well as the title of the movie. Apparently this guy was a big hit in the porn industry. She'd never had much use for the stuff and now she knew why. It was boring. Sure, the guys were drooling all over themselves, well, except for Kakashi, who looked horrified , and Shino, whom you couldn't see. But none of the women were going to get anything out of this. Thirty minute of her life wasted as far as she was concerned. She was all ready to stand and leave when the next scene caught her eye.

_He steps from the woods, bare and glistening in the dwindling light. Flowing golden hair meeting equally golden skin. Lean muscle moving sinuously under that perfect flesh. She gasps and turns to scramble away as he moves toward her with slow measured steps. Grace pouring from every limb and sweat sheening from every pore._

Sakura's eyes popped open as did every other woman in the room. She heard TenTen gasp and Ino smack her lips. Hinata whispered an awed "Oh my" as the man moved in on the woman. It was, by far, the most magnificent sight Sakura had ever seen and she was more than ready to see more.

"Turn that up." She tapped Shikamaru on the head.

"Oh yeah, I gotta hear the voice that goes with that body." Ino said thickly.

"It's probably dubbed." Kiba pouted as the golden god moved in front of the raven hair beauty, effectively blocking her from view with his well toned ass.

"Who cares." TenTen stated as she moved fractionally closer to the television.

"It's like a train wreck. You can't look away." Kakashi said in morbid fascination.

Then the man turned.

_Thud..._

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

_(shimmering voice over from the present)_

I'd seen this kind of thing before, mind you. I'm no virgin. But I'd never found interest in pornography. There is no beauty, mystery or passion in those films. It's simply casual and sometime blatantly rough sex. Not my cup of tea (don't tell Gai). But this film they were showing me seemed to grow on me. It had hints of passion and mystery. The beauty being chased by the golden fox god. Her knight attempting to save her. If there was sex mixed into the whole then I suppose it was alright. I was applauding the director of the film. He was a visionary and should produce more of this enlightened pornography. That is until...

_(soft focus flashback) _

Naruto rushed back into the building, slightly winded and smiled at the others. Their faces were fixed on the screen in front of them. Some wide eyed. Others horrified. A couple simply drooling. Choji was downing popcorn at the speed of light, his eyes moving with the scene on the screen. Kiba was laid out on the ground, Akamaru licking his face.

"What did Shikamaru put in there? It's not guy on guy is it?" He said as he moved closer to inspect the screen.

Sakura watched her teammate as he turned to watch the beautiful raven-haired woman moan daintily as she rocked from the force of the thrusts she was taking from behind. She watched his eyes grow wide as he looked at the golden man rocking his hips behind her in a gliding and painfully aggressive rhythm. The slapping of his hips meeting her backside loud in the silent room. When Naruto finally swallowed and took in a breath she shakily spoke.

"Since when do you do porn?"

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**Sorry to leave you hanging. Hope it's good for you. Didn't get to much of the lemony goodness. They'll be more next chapter. Till then you know the drill.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own Naruto. There will be lemons. I want reviews. NOW!**

**Seriously, tell me what you think. Suggestions? Interests? Positions? Give me a hint I'm flying blind here.**

I'd really started to enjoy this particular piece of material. The fact that there were nine more in the series and all apparently just as well made as this one only boosted my new interest. But when I saw the actor on the screen turn I was overcome with shock... okay, shocks too light a word. I'm not sure there's a word for how a felt when...

_(fade to black aaaaand... flashback)_

Everyone held their breath as the golden man pulled with a groan and an audible pop from the pale beauty. His erection slapping against the seal mark tattoo surrounding his belly button. The intricate, black pattern broken by the long thick length straining toward its center. The video panned from the slick penis up the glistening body as he lifted the beauty by her shoulders. Whiskered cheek met ebony hair and Naruto growled into the womans ear causing her to succumb to vapors in his arms.

"I'm not sure if I'm appalled or awed." Kakashi said with a quaver in his voice.

Everyone's eyes moved from the movie as the scene changed. Everyone's except for Kakashi who was watching the love scene with a fierce intensity. Naruto was standing completely still. His eyes wide and his cheeks red.

"Uh... hehehe." The blond reached up to scratch behind his head as a few of his fellow shinobi eyed him from top to bottom.

"That jumpsuit hides a lot." TenTen said as she licked her lips.

"It sure does." Ino replied in the same vein.

Neji had huddled up with Shikamaru the moment they'd realized who was on that screen. Feeling a little self-conscious now that they'd seen their friend "in action", they watched as TenTen and Ino slowly pulled to their feet. Lee began to ramble about Naruto's blossoming lotus of love, but everyone ignored him.

"Wonder if it looks like that for real or if it's all make-up?" Ino questioned idly.

"I don't know. He might need to sweat a little to get the same affect." TenTen pondered.

As if by command a bead of perspiration ran down Naruto's temple. The girls began to slowly advance as he took a step back. Then Sakura stepped between them.

"Wait! Aren't you a little disturbed by this? I mean... it's Naruto! Naked! Having sex!" She yelled at them.

"Not yet. But he will be." TenTen muttered.

The two kunoichi advanced only to find Hinata had slipped ahead of them. Neji and Shikamaru watched as she stepped in front of the blond and turned her back to the rest of the room.

"I-is that r-re-really you, Na-naruto?" She asked hesitantly, eyes downcast.

Naruto flushed heavily as he stared at the top of her head then anywhere else in the room.

"Yeah," he admitted solemnly. "It is. But don't worry! I'm not a sick freak or anything! I don't have kids running around! I swear!"

Sakura rolled her eyes as she turned to stare at her pervy teammate. Ino and TenTen still looked ready to pounce but the look was more calculating now. Waiting for the right time to strike.

"Are y-you in a-a-all the vi-video's, Naruto?" Hinata lifted her head and blinked shyly up at him.

The boy in question scratched at the back of his head and shuffled his feet. He looked at her oh so expressive eyes and cringed a little.

"Yah." He mumbled.

"Did he just say 'Yah'?" Ino asked

Choji glanced their way then went back to watching the movie. Another scene featuring Naruto and a perky woman with long pink hair and ample breast was just getting started. As movie Naruto divested the girl of her gown Choji spared another glance at Sakura.

_"No, best not tell her about this,"_ he thought. Then went back to the action in hand.

"So," Hinata chewed her lip a little and swayed with her hands clasped in front of her. "You k-know a lot, I-i guess?"

"This is so embarrassing." Naruto mumbled as he shuffled a little more.

"Wonder if he's realized she's backed him into the wall yet?" Shikamaru intoned just before Naruto's back pressed to the wall behind him.

The young kyuubi vessel looked down at the woman in front of him just as she lifted her head with a devilish grin.

"Oh. Don't be." She replied and gripped the zipper on the front of his jacket. Stripping it down in one fast motion, she followed it with a kunai down the front of his shirt.

"Hinata!" Sakura yelled, only to have Ino and TenTen grab her as she tried to move in on the attack.

"I think we should just let this go." Ino said blankly.

"I'm not sure it would be wise to stop her now. She might hurt someone." TenTen winced as the kunai dropped to Naruto's pants and made a clean sweep down.

Shikamaru, Neji and Choji sucked in a breath as the blade moved. Naruto was pale as his clothes began to fall from him in shreds. Hinata's hands moved in a blur as she ripped the clothes from her blond obsession. Ino and TenTen kept a tight leash on Sakura and Lee spouted more poetry of love in full bloom and the beauty of pollination. Kakashi continued to stare at the screen with a rapturous look on his face. And slowly, ever so slowly, Shino turned his head to take in the activity on the other side of the room.

"H-hinata?" Naruto spoke softly as the last of his cloths fell to the floor, leaving him in only his frog boxers.

"Those are sooooo cute!" TenTen cried then tossed her hand over her mouth. "Sorry."

Hinata licked her lips and twirled the kunai on her finger. She'd seized the day. Grabbed opportunity and ran. Okay, so she'd actually beaten it down and tied to spread eagle, but what the hell! It was all good!

"Down boy." She whispered as she pointed the kunai at Naruto's chest.

He backed as she stepped forward until his legs hit the arm of a long futon. When she poked him in the chest he tipped over backwards. He wasn't sure when she grabbed the leg of his boxers but they were gone before he back hit the cushions.

"Oh, wow. He really is gold all over." Ino said in awe.

The three remaining girls dropped to the scattered cushions and pillows as Hinata started to strip. Neji's eyes went wide and Shikamaru's lips quirked at the edges. There was a groan from behind the girls and Kiba's head popped up on the other side of Sakura's. He looked around bewildered for a moment before his eyes focused on Naruto.

"You do PORN!!" He accused with a pointed finger then blinked and screeched, "You're doing HINATA!!"

Akamaru looked up from his spread position in front of Kakashi, barked, then lay his head back down.

"I think we've all gathered that." Shino said in a horse whisper. His eyes moving over the couple as Hinata dropped her panties on the floor and lifted a foot to the couch.

They all watched in silent disbelief as the quiet purple-haired girl straddled a nervous and skeptical Naruto. She lowered the kunai to his throat and purred into his face. The blond swallowed then grinned just a little as his interest peaked. With one hand he slid up her arm to grasp the kunai in his larger hand. She swallowed in turn and released the weapon to his grasp. They hung there a moment and Shikamaru was just about to morn his one chance at a live performance with a set of tits like that when Naruto executed a stunning flip and landed on top of a now prone Hinata.

"How do you want it?" He asked in a deep purr.

"Any way you wanna give it." She replied in a soft whisper.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**4 orgasms later**

Hinata's screams were vying for supremacy with the movie. Kakashi had made them turn up the sound when the two shinobi in the back had started up their impromptu performance. Apparently he was missing key information vital to understanding the plot. They'd just shrugged and turned the sound to max. Choji had forgone the movie in favor of the live show, his legs now tossed over the arm of the low back chair he'd been in since they'd brought Kakashi in. The girls had started counting orgasms after the second one. They were now taking bets on how long Naruto would last. Sakura didn't hold high hopes since the blonds attention span was so low. TenTen, however, had the utmost faith in the genin and Ino was inclined to agree with her.

"I know this is probably going to piss you off, Neji, but you're cousin is so unbelievably hot right now." Shikamaru wiped at the sweat on his face as he watched the couple pull off a very cumbersome position with easy.

"I think almost anyone would look hot bent over backwards and in half like that." Choji said as he snacked on another bag of chips.

"I...I...I...I..." Neji mumbled as his wide, unblinking eyes pouring over the scene.

There was a moment of heavier breathing and another scream from Hinata. Her whole body shook over Naruto's and the blond smiled as he lifted and rolled them into another position.

"Position 54! Try position 54!" Lee cried from his spot under Akamaru. The companion lifted a paw and dropped it on Lees chest, knocking him to the floor, then lay down on him more fully.

"Thanks Akamaru." Kiba said as he lounged next to Shino on the smaller futon they'd turned to watch the show.

"That was five just in case anyone's counting." Shikamaru said in awe.

"She's got to be hurting. I'm hurting just looking at her." Sakura said.

"So am I but I don't think it's for the same reason." Ino replied.

"I think I need to change my pants." TenTen divulged.

"All the golden skin," Shino murmured.

Everyone blinked and turned to look at Shino. Naruto lifted his head from between Hinata's legs and looked in the direction of the bug ninja, Hinata blinking right along with him.

"What are you talking about, Shino? Hinata's as white as a ghost!" Kiba argued.

All eyes turned on Kiba.

"What?" The dog boy asked confused.

"Kiba," Sakura started slowly, "He was talking about Naruto."

Kiba stared at her a moment, looked back at the object of discussion, then looked at Sakura again with a completely lost expression. He shrugged and Ino moved from her resting place to kneel in front of him.

"Kiba." She said flatly, "Shino's gay."

She moved back from him and watched as he looked at her for a few stunned moments. He turned his head slowly toward his friend and teammate. Blinked.

"Wait for it." Ino intoned.

"..."

"..."

_thud..._

"Could someone change the disk please? I'd like to watch the continuation." Kakashi asked

"I'll get it." Choji stood to change out the disks.

"Alright you two. Back to work." Ino said as she left Kiba twitching on the floor to get back to the floor show.

Naruto shrugged and dropped his head again causing Hinata to scream.

"Thats six." Shikamaru exclaimed.

**Alright. Please Review. I'd like to know what you think. It's hard not know if you suck (pun intended).**


	9. Chapter 9

**Don't own Naruto.**

Aside from the heavy panting and occasional screaming behind me I was beginning to enjoy my time with the young shinobi of our village. We were bunked down...

_(Flaaaaaaaashbaaaaaaaaack)_

**12 orgasms and 4 videos later...**

Sakura, TenTen and Ino stared in horrified fascination and Hinata cried out in pain only to moan in absolute pleasure.

"That _really_ hurt!" The purple-haired girl cried out as Naruto, shining with sweat, pressed his chest into her back.

He shuddered once and shifted a little, causing Hinata to moan again somewhere between pain and pleasure.

"I can't believe you just let me do that." He moaned with slightly glazed and slitted red eyes.

"Yeah. Neither can I... don't stop!"

The wail was followed by another scream, and the three girls watched as Naruto pressed overlong teeth into the pale girls shoulder and bit down. All three cringed as they watched his hips piston slowly at first and then with greater force.

"I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." TenTen rasped.

"I didn't even know that was possible." They heard Shikamaru whisper in awe.

"I'm wondering if we should call Yamato?" Sakura stated.

"Well, I guess if you're into the older guys you could." Ino said a little distracted as Hinata screamed again.

"I'm starting to lose count." Shikamaru said weakly.

Snoring could be heard from Lee on the other side of the room. Once he realized Naruto knew all the positions he simply went to sleep. Kakashi was perfectly happy sitting in front of the screen, watching the "actors" preform. Choji was immersed in yet another bag of chips and there was a suspicious whimpering coming from the small futon where Shino sat with Kiba. No one was turning to see which of the two it was coming from. Neji simply stared in terror.

"Thirteen, I think. The first scream didn't sound like orgasm scream. It sounded like my ass is on fire scream." Choji told his best friend.

TenTen paled and cleared her throat.

"I really didn't need to hear that." Ino moaned.

All three girls shifted uncomfortably.

"He's got to be using some sort of jutsu. There's no way anyone can go this long." Kiba whined.

"Oh ye of little faith." Shino whispered.

"I'm serious!" Kiba insisted. "Have any of YOU ever gone this long?"

All the men fell silent.

"I've managed on hour." Choji chimed in cheerfully.

Shikamaru blinked at his friend.

"Seriously?" He asked, then added in a mummer, "I've only managed 20 minutes."

"Poor Temari. She must be pissed." Ino called.

Shikamaru spun on his backside and glared at the blond.

"Temari and I are NOT dating. I don't even LIKE her. She's troublesome and a general pain in my ASS!!"

"Me thinks the boy doth protest too much." Sakura added mockingly.

Shikamaru sneered and mumbled something about women being a drag, before turning back to the couple in front of them. Silence followed.

"So how long have you gone, Shino?" Kiba's asked quietly.

There wasn't an answer. A moment later Kiba sighed and moved off the futon to sit next to Shikamaru.

"Something wrong?" Shikamaru asked, reaching into Choji's chip bag.

"Just wanted to give him a little privacy. He's starting to look red under the hood." Kiba intoned quietly

Shikamaru moved to look back then thought better of it. Instead he reached for another chip, only to feel a heavy hand slap his away. He rubbed his sore wrist and looked petulantly up at Choji.

"Get your own." Choji said menacingly.

"Fine, fine. Where's the kitchen?" The shadow-nin asked.

"Through the door to the left. There's sake next to the frig." Choji informed.

"Who's place is this anyway? I thought we were doing this in a warehouse or something." Kiba asked as he looked at the nicely painted walls and art pieces around the room.

"Genma's." Choji said as he popped another chip in his mouth.

"WHAT!!" Sakura shouted only to have Kakashi shush her.

"What do you mean, this is Genma's place?" She asked more quietly.

"Shika said we needed a place for this. I asked Genma if we could borrow it while he's out on a mission. He said sure." Choji said around a chip.

"He didn't ask what you were using it for?" Ino asked.

"No. I've used his place before. He probably thinks we're having an orgy or something." Choji replied.

"He wouldn't be far from the truth." TenTen added.

There was a knock at the door. The girls, Choji and Kiba looked back. Another knock. Then the door opening.

"Someone should go check on that." Kakashi said idly.

And as if a fog had been lifted from his eyes, Neji snapped to his feet and started for the door.

"I'LL GET IT!!!" He called loudly as speed for the hallway and out of site.

"That was weird." Kiba said listening as the door closed and no other sound came from the front of the apartment.

Hinata screamed again and this time Naruto screamed with her. He shuddered helplessly for a moment before collapsing on the left side of her back. There was heavy panting and everyone watched as the kyuubi vessel slowly slide off and out of the white-eyed beauty beneath him.

"I don't think I can move yet." Hinata said feebly.

Naruto chuckled and dropped to his back on the floor next to the futon. He lifted one knee, hiding himself from the view of the others, as he tried to get his breath back and relearn how to focus.

"Wow." Hinata blinked down at the golden haired boy she'd had a crush on since she was young.

"Glad... you enjoyed... it." Naruto replied.

"So who's next?" Shikamaru called as he took a seat next to Choji and munched on a bowl of popcorn.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**A few minutes before, outside.**

Neji put one foot out of the door, only to be grabbed and pulled completely through it. He immediately had a kunai out only to have it taken from his fingers by the masked ANBU holding the front of his coat. He put on his best haughty face and stared down the animal faced mask. He could tell this one was female but that was it. His pride had taken a lot of bruising today and it didn't help that he was being held effortlessly by a woman at least six inches shorter than he was.

"Naruto." she asked.

"Busy," He said.

There was a long pause in which he felt himself being sized up. Praying he was ready for the attack and sure she was going to try and get inside he tensed.

"You'll do." She said and started dragging him down the stairs.

It was dark out and no one was around the residential area. She didn't even bother taking to the rooftops with him. A shame since he was sure he could have gotten away from her there. She moved quickly, turning down a side street and dragging him behind a sliding door hidden in the wall off what looked like an abandoned building. He swallowed nervously. Surely she wouldn't torture him. All she'd asked was for Naruto. She could have gone inside and gotten the blond. He'd have tried to stop her but it's not like she couldn't get in.

Then he recognized the mask. Thinking back to the one time he'd seen it and the one sided conversation. The more than casual way this operative had given over information. The knew knowledge that Naruto had been in porn films.

"I swear. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. Neither did the rest of us. He never mentioned it. He did it of his own accord, though the kunai to the groin probably helped him make up his mind." He spoke quickly, mumbling the last.

She let him go as the locks on the door slid into place and the lights came up. He looked around the apartment a little confused but called on his wits to give him a bored look.

"That's nice to know. I'll be sure to tell his 'girlfriend' if I ever met her." The ANBU said as she dropped onto a long futon.

Neji thought it looked a lot like the one in the apartment he'd just left. The one that Hinata and Naruto were... He turned a little green and groped for a chair to sit in.

"You're looking a little peaked. Why don't you come sit down." She patted the cushions next to her.

Neji blinked as she slid one leg over the other and leaned a little forward, showing a lot of cleavage.

"_Oh boy." _He thought as he slowly made his way.

She reached up as he came close and fingered a lock of his long hair.

"Nice. Sit."

She tugged and he fell.

"Any last requests?" She asked as she leaned over him.

He swallowed and looked up from her breasts.

"Just one. Keep the mask."

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

At Genma's flat.

Naruto was fending off Ino and TenTen as Shikamaru stood to change out the video. Kakashi was bouncing with excitement in his seat. Not a little unnerved by the reaction, Shikamaru hurriedly started Kyuubi Dreams: The Fifth Tail.

"I will NOT hold him down for you! Let the guy rest! He's just spent more than 6 hours banging my teammate!" Kiba yelled.

"Keep it down, please." Kakashi called in a singsong voice.

Several brows rose but the silence was immediately broken by Naruto's whimper.

"Oh, come on now. You know you can go again. Just concentrate." TenTen smiled as she held down Naruto's legs.

He was so tired he could barely hold his eyes open, but he didn't dare sleep for fear of being raped by the two kunoichi currently trying to rouse his interest.

"Alright, ladies. He's obviously too drained to do anything else for a while. Let him and Hinata sleep it off." Shikamaru said as he stepped up to help the prone blond onto spread sleep mat just a little way across the room.

Hinata was already there and fast asleep. Shikamaru dropped Naruto next to her and tossed a blanket over him. His eyes shut and he was asleep in moments. The shadow-nin turned to the two glaring girls and smiled.

"You can have him when he wakes up." He suggested then grabbed his bowl of popcorn and dropped to his spot.

The group looked at the now empty futon for a moment.

"Now what?" Choji asked.

"Don't know." Sakura replied. "Guess we could watch the movie?"

"Yeah. But it seems a little anticlimactic after that." TenTen intoned.

A loud snore rent the comfortable conversation and Kakashi reached for Kiba's offending sock, stuffing it into Lee's open mouth. Shino snorted but made no move to remove it. More silence followed as the movie played behind them. The sounds of voices broken by occasional moans and naughty whispers.

"I guess we could give it a shot ourselves." Kiba said into the silence.

"Give what a shot?" Ino asked dully.

"You know? What they just did." He replied with reddening ears.

"You volunteering?" Ino asked.

A smiled spread over the dog-nin's face and he settled more comfortably against the futon behind him.

"Yeah. You up for it?" He growled.

Ino stared at him for a full minute.

"No." She said deadpan and turned to stare at the long empty futon once more.

Kiba, looking stung and stunned looked to the other girls.

"I don't think so. Not with those feet." TenTen stated.

"There's only one person who could top what I've already had and he's currently passed out on the mat." Sakura said with feeling.

"Wait! Who have you had? When did this happen?" Ino was up on her knees, leaning into the pink-haired kunoichi. "And why haven't I heard about it?"

Ignoring Kiba's profound misery as being rejected by three women in front of his friends, Sakura stared smugly into the face of her rival.

"Because Sasuke doesn't kiss and tell." She said happily.

Ino's face went white then motley. She reached over TenTen's lap and grabbed Sakura by the arm.

"You LIE!" She growled in 'Exorcist' style.

"You wish." Sakura replied with a smirk.

"Sasuke?" Both Kiba and Shikamaru asked.

"Yep. Granted, he didn't have Naruto's stamina, or skill, or attention to detail." She frowned as she brushed Ino's now slack and stunned hand away from her. "Come to think of it, it wasn't that good. I got kinda bored in the middle and I'm not really sure but I might have fallen asleep for a few minutes."

The stunned silence traveled over the room. Only Kakashi's giggles and the sound of kissing from the screen could be heard like a backdrop.

"That's..." Choji was sitting a little straighter. "Bad." He ended with a little shake of his head.

"Yeah. Guess I should have told him." All the men shook their heads emphatically that she shouldn't. "Now he walks around like a peacock, preening and thinking he's some sort of god. I don't know what he's going to do when he finds out about Naruto."

"What about Naruto?"

All eyes turned to the hallway to see Uchiha Sasuke standing with his hands in his pockets and a frown on his face.

"Oh, nothing. What are you doing here?" Sakura asked a little too brightly.

"You missed training yesterday and then today. I only came back because Naruto promised to help. If you guys aren't going to show up from training then I'm not..." He stopped in mid-sentence and looked over the group. "What's going on?"

Everyone looked around in mock innocence. Muttering that nothing was going on and everything was fine. Sakura watched as Sasuke noticed the two shinobi under blankets on the sleep mat. She growled and moved toward them only to stop as the screen caught his eye.

"Ooooh nooo." Sakura groaned

A close up shot of Naruto in all his naked glory flashed into the screen. Moments passed as the scene moved on to his stalking a young women in the woods with her lover. Sasuke's eye started to twitch as the story unfolded into a threesome over groaning writhing bodies, featuring Naruto on the ground with a bouncing blond on top of him and a dark-haired man behind her. As the minutes ticked by everyone waited for the explosion, only to be shocked as the Uchiha picked up a chair and turned it to straddle as he sat.

"Sasuke?" Ino began.

He turned to look at her and everyone blinked at the sharingan's spinning pinwheel.

"I'm a little busy here." He stated and turned back to the scene.

"If you think that's good you should see the show he put on with Hinata." Choji added.

Everyone groaned as Sasuke's eyes alighted on the mat not far from them then turned back to the screen with renewed intensity.

"Let me know when he wakes up." Sasuke intoned heatedly.

"Why?" Kiba asked.

"So he can repeat the performance. There's no way in hell he's leaving me out of the loop on this one."

TenTen leaned over Sakura and started to speak when a familiar voice emitted from the screen and Sasuke's eyes widened marginally. Kakashi sucked in a breath and all eyes turned.

"Is that?" Ino asked.

"No way." Sakura said in disbelief.

"This is just so unfair." Sasuke muttered.

"Tell me about it." Kiba replied.

"I could have lived my whole life without seeing that." Shikamaru whimpered.

"He's really pale for a sand shinobi." Shino offered.

"He's really hot!" TenTen stated baldly. "Why didn't anyone tell me he was hot?"

They all watched as Kankuro, brother to the Kazekage of the Sand and puppeteer leaned into the golden beauty bouncing on top of Naruto to deliver a titillating comment before pressing her breasts into the other mans chest and thrusting away once more.

"Temari's gonna freak when he hears about this." Choji said gravely.

"No she isn't because you aren't going to tell her." Shikamaru explain.

"Thought you two weren't' dating?" Ino said flatly.

"Shut up. I'm trying to watch." Sasuke said with feeling.

"Anyone seen Neji?" TenTen asked.

"Not since he answered the door." Ino thought about it. "I'm sure he's fine. Probably went to get his porn back from Kakashi's.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**A few blocks down**

Neji whimpered and bowed low on the edge of the bed as a hand made contact with his now very sore backside. He'd been beaten, slapped and bashed around but never in his life had he been spanked. He was still trying to decide if it was humiliating or if he liked it.

"Go lay back and put your hands over your head." The ANBU woman said as she rubbed his stinging skin and pushed him lightly.

He crawled over the sheets of the raised sleep mat and rolled uncomfortably to his back, raising his arms up above him. He watched as the masked figure wrapped the leash attached to the collar around his neck over a loop in the wall. A little nervous at the prospect of offering his more sensitive parts to this sadists perusal he curled his knees up to cover himself more fully.

"Oh no. These stay down."

His legs were yanked out and leather straps wrapped the ankles. He felt a tug and realized she'd strapped him to the floor. He began to struggle a little when she started to strap his wrists.

"Wait! What are you...?" He started only to have a small ball stuffed in his mouth, the strap attached wrapping around his head.

He'd have been more afraid if the restraints had been meant for any true kind of restraining. But still, it was unsettling, being unable to truly do anything. Then again, much like the spanking, he wasn't sure he didn't like it.

"Just lay back and relax," she said as she lifted a long feather and attached it to a silver wand. With the touch of a button the wand began to hum and as the first tickle of the feather touched his skin he whimpered.

"Yes, Mistress."

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**Well, what do you think? Too much? Over the top? Let me know. Reviews are welcome.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Just giving a shout out to Kaotic 312. The only person who ever reviews me and gives me such fun things to think about.**

**I don't own Naruto.**

"I'm bored." Kiba whined.

"So go home." Ino offered.

"Both of you need to shut up." Sasuke growled.

"Man, he's touchy." TenTen whispered.

"You have NO idea." Sakura stated.

"This is so... beautiful." Kakashi murmured.

"Zzzzz..." from Lee

"You could go get us something to eat." Shino intoned.

"It's late. Nothings open." Kiba looked around and groused. "Why not let Shikamaru do it?"

"He's busy." Ino stated casually as she ran her fingers through the shadow-nin's unbound hair.

"He's going to be busy for a while." TenTen added. He hands running circles over the same young mans back and shoulders.

"Besides," Sakura continued as she slid a hand between Shikamaru's thighs, pressing her nails inward. He squeaked and reared a little but settled down at her gentle press on his bottom. "I think he likes it here."

Shikamaru, being stretched out over the girls laps in peaceful bliss, wasn't inclined to answer or disagree.

"Fine." Kiba pouted and stretched his legs out over the large futon he'd decided he was using until someone came up with a better use for it.

The fifth Kyuubi Dreams movie was rolling as Naruto and an unmasked Kankuro now seemed to be a tag team going around the country seducing and sometime kidnapping beautiful young women. A fair haired young man with plenty of muscle to spare was the hero of this film and was set against the two despots in a thrilling chase to save the kingdom. It wasn't lost on anyone that Sasuke, who claimed to be picking up "information" from the film, seemed to be wrapped into the story. His hands and legs twitching every so often as the story progressed and occasionally asking Kakashi murmured questions about the movies he'd missed.

Shikamaru stretched more fully over the laps of the kunoichi who were lavishing him with attention. All he'd said was he was tired and wanted to lay down. The next thing he'd known his head was in Ino's lap and his body spread face down over the other two girls. He'd had a moments panic, thinking of Naruto spread on the floor and trapped under their attentions, then they'd started rubbing sore muscles and massaging his scalp and he couldn't think of any reason to tell them to stop. Every once in a while fingers would press between his lips, skin would meet skin under his net shirt or a warm hand would slide across his inner thigh to lightly touch more private things. If they wanted to cope a feel that was fine. He's was enjoying his lazy repose.

All was silent for some time until the sound of keys in the lock turned everyone's head to the hall. Choji peeked out of the kitchen, a jar of mustard in one hand and a knife in the other. The door opened then closed and footsteps sounded. The bedroom door opened. There was a thud and a shifting of material. Two more thuds. More shifting. Then the door closed and the footstep were heard coming closer.

"Choji? You still here? If you're doing that barbecue girl on my couch again I'll..."

Genma stopped in the opening to his living space in nothing but his navy boxers and stared at the group lounging around the room. His eyes wandered over Shikamaru face down in Ino, TenTen, and Sakura's lap with his eyes closed and a lazy smile on his face. Kiba with his feet bare and propped on the futon. Choji waving from the kitchen. Kakashi and the Uchiha guy engrossed in the movie playing. And Shino, at leas the was pretty sure it was Shino, sitting back on the small chair with his arms crossed.

"A party? And I wasn't invited?" He asked.

"You were on a mission." Choji said from the door and moved back into the kitchen.

"So whats..."

He looked next to Kakashi. He's seen Kiba's dog laying there but only just realized there was someone under him. He moved closer to find a snoring Lee with what looked like a tub sock in his mouth. He glanced back at Kiba's bare feet and shuddered.

"That's just wrong." And proceeded to pull the sock from Lee's mouth.

The moment it was free the smell hit him full in the face, along with a loud snore from Lee.

"If someone doesn't shut him up, I'm going to!" Growled Sasuke as he fiddled with the volume control.

Genma shook his head and glared around the room, sure there was some damage somewhere. Choji was usually pretty reliable but these miscreants couldn't be trust. But his scan showed nothing out of the ordinary other than a mat rolled out on the floor and a lumpy sheet that was shifting slightly... He moved to the wriggling sheet.

"You have GOT to be kidding me." He put his hand to his face and wiped from forehead to chin.

"What?" Kiba called from the couch. "They were beat. I mean, they were at it for four movies. That's what? Nearly 8 hours. I didn't know Hinata had it in her."

The girl in question was wiggling slightly in her sleep, a huge smile plastered over her delicate features. Naruto was face down on the mat, completely unmoving except for the rise and fall of his back as he breathed.

Genma sighed. "Is this your sock, Inuzuka?" He threw it at the stunned boy. "Get you're nasty feet off my furniture."

"My feet do NOT STINK!" Kiba yelled.

"Shhhh," and "Quiet!" came from Kakashi and Sasuke.

"Fine. Think what you like." Genma turned back to the blond and purple-haired shinobi sleeping on the mat. He had to admit, they looked cute like that.

"I don't want to turn over. I'm fine like this." Shikamaru's voice penetrated his thoughts and he looked over his shoulder to see Ino and TenTen trying to roll the shadow wielder.

"Yes you do." Said TenTen and nudged Sakura who'd be looking at Sasuke as if he'd grown another head.

"Wha... oh yeah." She tipped his legs and the Nara was rolled to his back.

Genma shook his head as the lazy shinobi groaned and complained and the girls shifted him once more into their laps. He walked over and dropped into the chair next to Shino. Kiba was now lifting his feet off the futon and Choji had resumed his place in the chair in front of the screen. Genma chanced a look toward the screen only to stop when he thought he saw tear tracks running down Sasuke's face. Than couldn't be right.

"What you the two of you watching?" Genma asked as he turned around in his seat to get a better look.

He missed Shino checking out his ass but got a full view of Naruto's as he stepped into view of the camera.

"Oh hell, where did you get this?" He blinked at the shifting light of the fire on screen as Naruto's figure passed through it unharmed to reach the fiery redhead chained on the other side.

"It was at Asuma's place. Must of gotten mixed up in the other cases. These weren't the one's we picked up." Shikamaru slurred as the girls started rubbing muscles and tendons from the front.

"These? How many do you have?" Genma inquired nervously.

Everyone looked at him suspiciously, except Shino who was now checking out his pecks.

"We have nine. Since they seem to be something to do with the tailed demons we figured nine was it." Shikamaru explained still sounding drugged.

Genma dropped his head in his hands and and started to laugh. His shoulders shaking. Shino whimpered.

"Is something wrong?" Sakura asked, suspicious again that they had stumbled onto something they weren't suppose to have. All of them knew now about the nine-tails and Naruto but some didn't always put two and two together.

Genma lifted his head and looked back over the room.

"No. Just make sure the Hokage doesn't find out you have these. She ban them a year or so back. The ANBU have been hiding their copies. They used to through parties just to watch them."

"But why did Tsunade have them ban? I mean, sure it's Naruto but these things are like full length motion pictures. NC-17 maybe but movies none the less." Sakura gripped Shikamaru's leg tightly and he groaned.

Genma leaned back and tossed his arms over the back of the small futon, brushing Shino's shoulders as he did.

"Well, the thing is, this director liked to recruit from outside the business so to speak. The girls are mostly professionals in this field but the guys... well, take Naruto for instance. That first film was probably shot the day after he became legal." He looked over his shoulder at the screen again. "And I'm sure you've seen a few other familiar faces."

"We saw Kankuro." Ino said.

"Don't remind me." Shikamaru groaned.

"Well," Genma grinned. "Brace yourselves."

He looked back to the screen as the next shot panned out. Another man had entered the fray. Another hero. They all watched as he made his way forward into the battle to steal way the helpless maiden and mount his horse. Everyone stared transfixed at the site of Iruka gliding alone on a pale gray horse, the woman he'd just rescued wrapped into in lap and around his chest. The horse slowed and the woman rolled to toss one smooth pink leg over Iruka's other hip to straddle him. He loosed the reins and took her in his arms for a searing kiss that seemed to help smooth her gown from her breast, where Iruka moved his mouth and latched on.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to look Iruka sensei in the eye again." Sakura muttered.

"All depends on which eye you're talking about." Ino breathed.

Genma moved his arm across the back of the seat, again bumping Shino.

"That's not the last of them. Number nine is full of people you all know and love doing things no one wants to admit are humanly possible.

"Are you in it?" Shino asked almost casually.

"Actually, no." There was a collective "awe" from the group and many sad faces. Genma grinned at TenTen. "But if you want to see that bad, I'll show you."

"You're not gay?" TenTen asked, confused.

Genma blinked a few times before bending forward in gales of laughter. When he'd regained air enough to speak, he addressed the whole group.

"What made you think I was gay?"

Everyone looked cut their eyes to Shino then looked away. Genma grinned and pretended he didn't notice.

"I'm not gay. I'm sure if you asked Asuma he could tell you a few hair raising stories."

Genma looked over at the two sleeping on the mat then at poor Lee under Kiba's dog.

"Alright, Kiba." Genma stood and started for Lee. "Call off your friend. Shino, come give me a hand with Lee. We're putting him in my room before someone kills him." He lifted the other offending sock and chucked it at Kiba.

Shino stood and helped lift the sleeping green man off the floor. He smelled like wet dog and Shino held his breath as they moved him out of the room and into the unseen bedroom down the hall. The door closed on Shikamaru's high pitched yip. No doubt one of the girls had gotten over friendly.

"Lets get him to the bed." Genma grunted.

They maneuvered him into the bed and left him laying on the comforter. Shino noted it was an actual bed with four posts off the floor. When Lee was tucked under a spare blanket and the lights turned low, Shino moved for the door only to be stopped by Genma's call.

"Come over here. I could use you're help."

Shino watched as Genma reached into a small wooden box on the shelf and popped a senbon in his mouth. Shino followed him into an adjoining room which turned out to be a bathroom. The room was large enough for three and he stayed back just a little to give the older man room to move. He'd noticed the deep scratches in several places over he back. Assuming the senbon user needed a hand tending his wounds he spoke up.

"Sakura could heal those for you. If you'd like I'll go and get her?"

Genma looked over his shoulder with a raised brow. The senbon dancing between his lips. Shino followed the movement with his eyes, licked his lips and swallowed hard. All the while thanking his high collar shirt and hood for hiding his face.

"These as just scratches. They'll be fine in a couple of days." Genma reached for the waist band of his boxers as he pulled open the doors to the shower. "What makes you think I'm gay, Shino?"

Genma dropped his boxers. Shino dropped his jaw.

"Uh..." Shino grunted stunned.

"Not the answer I was looking for." Genma grabbed the towel off the rack and placed it over his front doing nothing to hide the back.

"Uh..." Shino continued.

Genma nodded sagely. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

Shino had back himself into a corner. Genma's hips peeked from the sides of the towel and it was hard to leave them to look the man in the eye.

"It's just that you spend so much time with... and you talk about women but we never see you with... and..."

Genma held up a hand and shook his head.

"I spend to with those men because they are my comrades and friends. You don't see me out with women a lot because they usually spend the date in the bed on the other side of that door. And I'm sorry to tell you this, Shino, but your not fooling anyone. Anko saw you and the farmers boy a couple of months ago out in the woods. You should probably work on the screaming. It can get to be a problem on missions."

Shino was beet red and shaking by the time Genma finished. He watched, his heart pounding with humiliation, as the jonin turned once more to start the water in the shower. Bowing his head so he couldn't look at the rock hard backside in front of him, he turned and reached for the door.

"Oh, and one more thing, Shino." Genma called.

Shino turned his head seconds before the high whistle that signaled a thrown object met his ears. Air passed over his forehead and a thunk pulled the hood of his coat off of his head. He had a moment to wonder just how upset Genma was and call for the kakai when the zipper front of his coat was lowered and his glasses were tossed into the sink.

"You have nice eyes." Genma said

And then he kissed him.

**Not my best work but I hope you like it. If you've read this far please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Yeah! Another review! Thanks to The Once and Forever, glad you've kept with it throughout and to Kaotic 312 yet again. And don't worry, Love. All will be reveal in due time.**

I'd found a friend and fellow lover of the fine arts in Sasuke. He'd never seemed all that interested in things like romance and love, but watching him watch these glorious films I began to see a whole new side to Sasuke Uchiha. I'd lost track of the others as I reveled in Sasuke's newfound interest and these clearly well thought out epic movies. But Genma was home so I was sure...

_(and again with the flashback)_

"Uh, Sakura, what are you doing?" Shikamaru's voice shook a little.

He was still stretched between Ino and Sakura, TenTen having gotten up to go to the bathroom.

"Just helping you get comfortable." Sakura replied lightly as she lowered the zipper on his pants.

Ino poked at the netting of his shirt with a kunai.

"Yeah. You said you just wanted to lay back and relax." The tip of the weapon snapped a few threads. "We're only trying to help."

With that he opened his eyes to see that he was actually being undress. Moments to make a decision.

"I have a girlfriend. She won't like it if you molest me and she finds out." He explained.

"Then I guess she won't find out." Ino replied as she moved the kunai over another set of threads directly over his heart.

Shikamaru swallowed visibly. Ino and Sakura gave him viciously delighted grins.

Choji stopped munching on chips long enough to take in Shikamaru's predicament and dismiss it. If he didn't want to tell them Temari and he were dating, he could suffer the consequences. His eyes left his friend to see Kiba sitting on the futon. The dog-nin looked somewhere between mesmerized and sick.

"What's up, Kiba?" He asked as he started in on his bag of chips again.

"Shino... Shino's... He's..." Kiba mumbled.

"What?" Choji looked at the spot on the wall Kiba seemed to be staring at. "What about him? He's probably watching Lee so he doesn't have to watch this." He pointed to Shikamaru's now nearly undressed lower half.

"You know. Now that I think about it. Genma has been in the shower a while. You don't think he needs help do you?" Sakura asked as she gripped Shikamaru's shorts.

A shout came from the other side of the wall. Everyone looked up, except Kakashi and Sasuke, as the sound repeated itself then died away.

"What was that?" Ino asked, he hands stilling over Shikamaru's chest.

"Sounds like someone's having a good time. Oh, I ache." Naruto said from the blankets on the other side of the room.

_Thud..._

Ino turned to look at Kiba on the floor. "What just happened?"

The door to the bedroom opened and TenTen came around the corner to grab Ino, pulling her to the bedroom and dropping Shikamaru's head on the floor.

"Ow!" He cried

The bedroom door shut at their backs but not before TenTen could be heard saying, "You have to see this."

There was a muffled thud on the other side of the wall. All was quiet for a moment, then moans and grunts began to issue from the plaster.

"Do they have to be so loud?" Sasuke complained and stood to fiddle with the volume on the screen.

"Mmmm, what's going on?" Hinata asked as she lifted to her elbow and blinked sleepily. "Why is Kiba on the floor?"

"Someone's knocking it out in the shower." Naruto informed her.

"Who?" She asked as she crawled closer to cuddle up with the golden shinobi.

"Well, Lee, Ino, TenTen, Shino and Genma are all in there." Shikamaru explained as he tried to rub his head and fend off Sakura's hands at the same time. "TenTen was wearing cloths when she came out and grabbed Ino so... will you let go of that! It's not a toy!"

Sakura turned her eyes to him. "Say's who?"

Then the bedroom door burst open again and Ino slid to a halt in front of the pink-haired kunoichi. She grabbed her arm and pulled, tossing Shikamaru completely to the floor as she dragged the young woman back to the bedroom. The door shutting behind them.

"Oh, thank the Hokage!" Shikamaru cried as he righted his cloths and put Choji between himself and the bedroom.

"_Damn you are so TIGHT!" _came through the walls and everyone stopped.

"Well, I guess Genma's getting his, but with who?" Naruto asked.

There was another series of loud thumps and a lot of moaning. Then a very, very loud scream.

"That sounded like Shino." Hinata said from her perch on Naruto's lap.

"That's IT!" cried Sasuke and he paused the movie and walked down the hall.

The door to the bedroom opened and closed. The the bathroom door open. There were was some thumping around.

"_Sasuke! What are you doing?" _Ino cried from behind the wall.

There was a scratching sound then Genma's voice.

"_Looks like we have company." _He said teasingly and Shino cried out again.

A moments silence then Sasuke's voice.

"_You two keep it down! I'm trying to watch a movie! I can't hear it over your big mouths!"_

There was the sound of scratching and the bathroom down closing, then the bedroom door opened and Sasuke walked out. He shut the door and walked back to his seat, picked up the remote and started watching again. There was a barely audible cry from the wall then the noise of the shower covered all but the loudest of the shrieking.

"That was..." Choji started only to stop as the bedroom door open and Lee stepped from the hall rubbing his eyes.

He looked around the room and smiled then frowned and looked around again.

"Where is Neji?" The green man asked.

Everyone looked confused for a moment then Shikamaru stood.

"He went to check the door a couple of hours ago and never came back." The shadow-nin looked over his shoulder at Kakashi and Sasuke. No. Those two weren't going anywhere.

"I'm going to look for him. I'll be back before an hour." Shikamaru continued as he pulled on his boots.

"Want some company?" Choji asked.

"Nah. I got this. You watch these guys."

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**Elsewhere in Konoha**

Neji slipped quietly from the bed and dropped to the floor. His pants were down here somewhere. He didn't care if he got the rest back as long as his ass was not bare when he walked out. The woman shifted and he looked back wide-eyed. Then again, naked didn't seem like too much of a problem. But he found his pants as he slid to the door and quietly pulled them up, tying the strings in a knot to save time. The lock slid noisily and he cringed as he waited for the woman to wake. When she didn't he beat a haste retreat, leaving the door slightly ajar in his wake.

He dropped when he'd made it to the mouth of the alley and simply breathed in the air. Every muscle hurt, his backside felt like he'd sat on a furnace, and he couldn't figure out how to get the damn cock ring off so he was stuck at constant attention and in constant discomfort. Even his hair hurt as he ran his fingers through it and slowly slid up the wall. He needed to get farther away. Back to the apartment and his teammates. Back to ask Naruto what the hell was going on.

"Neji?" Shikamaru's voice penetrated his aching skull. "Neji. What are you doing out here... in nothing but your pants?"

Neji looked up into the other mans face and he considered begging for aid or possibly simply falling at his feet and crying, but decided instead to wipe all expression but innocence from his face.

"It was a nice night for a walk." He stated simply.

"Well, _walk_ back to the apartment. Lee woke up and started looking for you and... well, lets just say some things have happened since you left."

Neji winced for a moment then asked in a shallow voice.

"They're not still... you know... are they?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and pulled on Neji's arm.

"No. They finished up right after you left. They were just waking up when I came to get you." When Neji didn't move he stopped pulling causing Neji to drop to his ass on the ground.

"Oooowwww!" The Hyuuga cried before he could stop himself.

Shikamaru hurriedly bent to him and started looking him over. There weren't really any major problems that he could see. Except for the bruising on the wrists and the red splotches on his... the shadow-nin raised a single brow and helped Neji stand.

"Just a walk was it?"

"Shut up, Nara." Neji groused as he limped off in the direction of the apartment.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**Genma's place**

"But he said he was straight." Sakura mumbled for the fourth time since the girls had been kicked out of the bathroom.

"No. He said he wasn't gay." Ino told her yet again.

"But..." Sakura looked up stunned.

"He's bi, forehead. Bi. You know. Bisexual. Likes both. You following?" Ino explained sarcastically.

"That was by far the hottest thing I have ever seen." TenTen looked back at Naruto and Hinata, lounging in the corner in each others arms. "No offense. You two were great and all but..."

"I know." Naruto replied. "It's a girl thing. Anko had the same problem with the guys since she did mostly girl on girl scenes."

All three girls blinked.

"Exactly who else has been in these movies?" Choji asked curiously.

Before the blond could answer the door opened and Shikamaru walked in with a near naked Neji limping behind him.

"What the hell happened to you?" Kiba asked as he picked himself up off the floor.

Neji didn't answer. He simply moved to the large futon and dropped down on it. His eyes closed briefly then he frowned and looked down as he lifted his leg up sightly.

"What's wrong?" Hinata asked, taking in all the bites and bruises on his neck and chest.

Again, he didn't answer. Slowly his face paled and jumped up from the futon and made a mad dash for the bathroom. Kiba watched his retreating back as Shikamaru came to investigate the futon.

"What was all that about?" TenTen asked as she moved closer to Shikamaru.

"Don't know but he was looking a little green." Naruto replied.

The sounds of retching could heard over the fall of the shower and the occasional moans there.

"I think I found the culprit." Shikamaru spoke into the silence.

TenTen and Kiba leaned down the see a spot on the futon. Nearly invisible in the dark cloth but starting to show as it dried.

"Oh man! Genma's gonna be pissed. Did that with the barbecue girl and got the cushions really wet. He said if I did it again he'd send my dad the cleaning bill." Choji informed the group.

"You mean thats..." TenTen said nose wrinkling.

"Yep." Shikamaru answered.

"I didn't notice it and I've been sitting there the whole time." Kiba interjected.

"That doesn't surprise anyone." Ino commented.

"Well, if he's having a problem with... that," Hinata started. "How's he going to handle what he's in the bathroom with?"

They all turned their heads to the hall as the fifth movie credits began to roll.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**Alright. Time to read and review. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the hold up. But I have two stories and a two year old going over here. Enjoy and sorry to anyone who doesn't like the pairings. I'm weird, so sue me.**

Shino pressed his back to the shower wall and tried to hold himself up on his shaking legs. He was sore and tired and it felt so good he wasn't sure he shouldn't just die on the spot. Warm air washed over his lips moment before he was kissed again by the well toned brunette he'd just spent the last hour in absolute bliss with. He'd never thought the senbon to be a very useful weapon but oh how this man had made use of his.

"You want to go again?" Genma asked against his lips.

"Don't… think I can… stand." Shino replied between breaths.

Genma smiled lightly and brushed a kiss to his temple. I very soft gesture for a man who was known for his lack of sensitivity.

"Sore?" He asked.

"A little." Shino replied softly.

"Not used to such rough treatment, eh?" Genma asked with a self-deprecating smile.

"Give me… an hour." Shino said with false strength. No way was he going to be ready again in an hour. Maybe a year.

"No. I think you're done tonight." Genma replied. "But don't think I won't take you up on the offer some other time."

Shino whimpered again as Genma pulled two towels from the wall and wrapped one around Shino's waist. He pulled the door to the shower open to see Neji Hyuuga puking his guts out in the toilet.

"Not the way I wanted to end this." Genma muttered as he peered down at an obviously mind numbed Neji.

"How were you going to end it?" Shino asked as he realized there was nothing they could do for the white-eyed man that wouldn't make him worse off than he already was.

Genma looked confused for a moment.

"Don't you think we should help your friend out?"

"He's homophobic." Shino said without a trace of doubt.

"Oh." Genma tugged on Shino's arm. "In that case…"

He pulled them into the bedroom and shut the bathroom door behind them. The room still had the soft glow of low light but Lee was no longer in the bed. Genma sighed as he looked at it but didn't make a second offer.

"I was going to ask you what this is?"

The senbon chewer reached out and ran a finger down a small line of quivering skin. When he moved it to a still spot the quivering seemed to follow.

"Everywhere I touch you it moves."

"It's the kakai. They sense your chakra." Shino shivered a little under the light touch.

"They feel like little fingers moving against my hand." Genma continued as he spread his hand over Shino's abdomen and watched the small bugs move to it under the skin.

"Feels that way from the inside too." Shino admitted. "You get used to it but sometimes…"

"It's amazing. And I've seen some pretty amazing stuff in my time." Genma moved his hand from on side to the other. His hand only lightly grazing the skin.

"Uh, Genma?" Shino started but the rest of his was speaking for him as his towel started to tent at an alarming rate.

Genma's grin was pure sin as she look from Shino's new interest to his face.

"Guess you've got a little left in you after all." He murmured.

Shino's eyes widened and Genma chuckled.

"Don't worry. I had something a lot less… intrusive in mind."

He pulled Shino down to the bed and drew them both back into it.

"You really do have nice eyes." He commented as he kissed the bug-nin once again.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

"Well, I don't hear a scream of sheer terror so he must be alright." TenTen said as she plopped down next to Choji and reached into his bag of chips.

"Hey!" The larger man said and pulled the bag closer to his chest. "Get your own."

"Stingy." TenTen muttered as she stood and headed for the kitchen.

"What do you think happened to him?" Hinata asked from her resting place in Naruto's lap. Her cheek rubbed back and forth on his thighs.

The blond was turning several shades of red and attempting to get the purple haired girl to still her movements. All to no avail.

"Don't know but I'm sure we'll find out when he gets back." Shikamaru replied.

"How do you figure that?" Sakura asked having decided to let go of the 'Genma is bi' issue for the moment.

"Because he has more hickey's than a whore on payday and he can barely sit. I want to know who got him." Shikamaru said with real interest.

Hinata looked astonished and horrified as she stopped moving in Naruto's lap.

"What do you mean, who got him? What do you think happened to him?"

Naruto patted her head and sighed.

"He means he's been having a good time. Or at least having sex. Whether it was good or not is another story."

Hinata sucked in a breath and the others turned to her in concern.

"Is something wrong, Hinata?" Ino asked as the purple-haired kunoichi went from red to white.

She nodded. "Neji's a virgin."

Sake went flying into the room from the kitchen as TenTen coughed and sputtered.

_thud_…

"Say that again." Shikamaru looked stunned.

"He's a virgin. Well, he was anyway." She stated again.

Lee looked back at them from the movie, having been caught up in an action scene.

"You know he says he's never getting married or having children because of the curse seal. Well, he figured he might as well not do any of it. That way he wouldn't be tempted." She explained reasonably.

Everyone let her words soak in for a moment as TenTen came out with a dishtowel and started mopping up the sake off the floor.

"Makes perfect sense to me." Choji said around another mouthful of chips.

Sakura and Ino rolled their eyes. 

"But… Neji gets all the girls." Lee said with some astonishment. "His fan club is so big they have to send the mail to two different addresses."

"Well, just because the girls want him doesn't mean he wants them." Hinata said tartly, defending the honor of her cousin.

"But if that's the case… who got him tonight, because I'm telling you, he had sex and it was rough." Shikamaru stated firmly.

"Well, we know he disappeared. What was he doing? Where was he when you found him?" Sakura asked.

"Well, he answered the door while these two were busy. When I went out to find him he was at the open mouth of an alley a few blocks south. Look abandoned. I don't know why he was there." Shikamaru offered.

Naruto paled. His honey warm skin going sickly jaundice.

"Where exactly did you say it was?" The blond asked barely above a whisper.

"Across from the sweet stand a few blocks south. Big building. I don't think I've ever seen anyone use it." Shikamaru explained.

"Oh no. No. That is so not the way a virgin needs to… oh wow… so not good." Naruto babbled as he started standing just as Kiba was waking.

"For the love of… Put on some pants man! Hide your shame!" Kiba cried as he got a good look at close range of Naruto's goods.

Naruto ignored him, moving instead to pick up his frog boxers and head from the bedroom.

"Naruto! What's wrong?" Sakura called.

"I have to talk to Neji! Maybe they have a support group for this sort of thing! Sure. Virgins get snatched by Sadistic sex fiends all the time right?"

"Oh. That doesn't sound good at all." Lee said weakly.

"No it doesn't." Ino replied.

"DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER KNOCK!" Genma screamed as Naruto opened the door.

**I thank anyone who has reviewed. I can always use more. Thanks.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I know it's short but I felt like Neji needed his little moment in the sun. Hope you enjoy. There is more to come.**

Genma had Neji out of the bathroom and out the bedroom door so fast his head was spinning from the movement. With a last mumbled "and stay out" the door shut behind them and Neji was left to walk into a room full of his peers with Naruto asking his extremely personal questions in a not so quiet voice.

"Did she have a tattoo of a spider on her left butt cheek?" Naruto asked as Neji gingerly sat on the shorter futon.

Neji had thus far answered nothing and was getting a little irritated with the questions now combined with the curious and sympathetic stares.

"What the hell are you people staring at?" He groused and TenTen came to sit next to him on the futon.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked him kindly.

"We're all here for you." Sakura offered.

"Need a drink?" Ino continued.

"Can a guy really be a virgin? I mean, we jack off and everything. Doesn't that count?" Kiba asked.

Neji's eyes widened and he turned a stunned turning to angry look on his cousin.

"You TOLD them???"

Hinata blinked from her perch on the mat with a sheet wrapped around her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was suppose to be a secret. And then Shikamaru said you'd had really rough sex tonight and after everything Naruto and I did I…"

Neji raised a hand to stop her before she continued. He didn't need to think about that. He'd seen more of his cousin in one night than he'd ever intended to see of any woman in his life.

"It's alright you know." Choji said. "We all understand why. No one's gonna think you're a pussy or anything."

"Yes. I find your actions admirable. May the strength of Youth flourish!"

"Um, Lee?" Ino began then shook her head. "Never mind."

"I can't believe this…" Neji muttered only to have Naruto press in on his other side and grip his shoulder. He winced and looked up at the blond with a scowl on his face.

"Look. I'm not trying to be hard and insensitive or some shit like that, but I need to know exactly what happened." Naruto asked determinedly.

Neji sighed and slowly settled back into the cushions, pulling a thick pillow into his lap at the same time. He moved uncomfortably for a moment before finally settling on a position that least irritated his sore ass and hard dick.

"All I told them was where I found you. Across from the sweet shop." Shikamaru told the Hyuuga.

Neji grunted and closed his eyes. If he didn't have to look at them this would go a lot faster.

"I answered the door and an ANBU grabbed me by the coat and pulled me out the door. She asked for Naruto and I said he was busy. So she stared at me for a moment then said 'You'll do' and started dragging me off."

He sighed as he heard a few indrawn breaths.

"And before you ask, no I couldn't just get loose. First, it's ANBU. Second, she wanted Naruto and I didn't know the reason. Third, even though it was late there were still people out. I didn't want to cause a scene and draw attention to what were are doing here."

He opened his eyes a crack to see everyone nodding their heads. Everyone except Naruto who was looking a little green around the gills.

"What did the mask look like?" Naruto asked almost in a whisper.

Neji thought about it. It had been the same cat-like mask he'd seen on the ANBU meeting Naruto a couple of days prior.

"The pattern was choppy. I'd like to say it was cat-like but I'm not really sure. The colors were black and red and…" He hedged a moment before looking up at Naruto. "It was the same one who gave you the scroll the day we met at Ichiraku's."

Naruto stopped breathing for a moment.

"You know her?" Kiba asked.

"Of course he does or he wouldn't have met her and she wouldn't have shown up here." Ino smacked the dog-nin on the head.

"Leiko. Her name is Leiko." Naruto said with a crack in his voice.

Everyone waited for him to continue. When he didn't Neji got irritable.

"Sorry. You'll have to be more specific. I was a little too busy being collared and strapped to get a name." His voice dripped venom as he stared at the blond kyuubi vessel.

"I thought maybe it was Miyu or one of the others. They're pretty rough and a little sadistic. It would be bad enough to put a virgin with them, but Leiko."

Naruto looked down at Neji with such sympathy he actually started to panic all over again.

"What wrong with her?" Choji asked having finished his chips and moved on to popcorn.

"She makes Ibiki look and act like a sweet fluffy kitten with big blue eyes and a pink nose."

Shikamaru choked as he looked over Neji's abused body again. Ino, TenTen and Sakura gasped. Choji raised a brow. Lee had started watching the movie again. Kakashi and Sasuke never stopped watching the movie and had since made popcorn. Kiba whined. Neji whimpered as memories began to assail him.

"I knew she was 'different' but…" Neji trailed off as he thought back on the painful paddling he'd received. His butt gave a twinge at the memory and he groaned.

"I swear if I'd known it was her I'd have come out myself. You should have come back in and told me." Naruto was telling a now more distressed Neji.

"What do you mean, you'd have gone out yourself?" There was a collective pause as Hinata stood from the mat, sheet wrapped under her arms, and moved toward the group.

"I… I… I just meant that… You see I owe her a favor and…" Naruto stuttered as Hinata moved slowly toward him.

"Well, since Neji has paid you're debt for you, I guess you don't owe her anymore. Right?" Hinata asked sweetly as her fists clenched and unclenched.

"Yeah but…" He stopped short as she stepped in front of him and put her nose to his.

"No buts… do you owe anymore favors?" It was a trick question. Sadly Naruto didn't know the trick.

"Two more. I took care of one right after we got here and now I have to…ACK!!"

Hinata had gotten fast. Really fast. Naruto might have a lot of extra chakra but he couldn't get a blow in to use it. Not that he was trying to hurt the purple haired girl but he couldn't seem to stop her hands from hitting him in some very sensitive places. Over and over again.

"Can we get back to MY problem please?" Neji yelled.

"Can you SHUT UP PLEASE!" Sasuke yelled right in Neji's ear.

Her cousins head was ringing when Hinata backed off but not before delivering a precise blow to Naruto's groin. The blond doubled over in pain. His gasps making Kiba, Choji and Shikamaru wince and double over themselves in sympathy.

"Alright, boys, back to the issue." Ino called.

"Right, we've established, Neji was abducted by a sadist who most likely enjoys torture for more than work purposes." Sakura ticked off everything on her fingers.

"Well, dealing with her is a mute point don't you think? The damage is already done." She pointed to Neji who was shifting uncomfortably on the futon again. "What we need to do now is help Neji work through this." She preached in an astounding invitation of Gai.

Neji looked over the girls now fighter over how best to help him. The men, still sensitive to Naruto's plight, no help. And the movie reaching a peaks so no help from those guys. He didn't need to talk this out. He didn't need therapy. Unless it was physical therapy. His eyes traveled to the bedroom door. He didn't have a chance in hell of getting his friends to help him out with his problems. Especially the more pressing need to have this ring off and some kind of relief. Should he risk pissing off Genma and ask for help. Shino was still in there but Shino was a quiet guy. He wouldn't tell anyone what he saw.

While the others were dealing with things that no longer had anything to do with him, he slipped slowly off the futon, holding his breath against his discomfort, and headed for the bedroom door.

**Please read and review. And thanks to those that already have. I enjoy knowing how people feel about my work.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Alright. Here's the payoff for the last short chapter. Enjoy and please review.**

It was a great surprise to find that Lee had joined Sasuke and I in watching these monumental films. I only wish the others could enjoy them as well, but sadly they seemed far too interested in their own arguments. The current one seemed to be about Neji. Not that I was paying attention as the hero of the movie made his appearance on screen to fight a battle with the destructive demon. Though I did wonder why the hero was riding a toad with a sword...

_(we're flashing back now)_

Genma growled and slid from the bed and a very comfortable Shino as he heard the almost timid knock on his door. Pulling a towel from the end of the bed and wrapping it around his hips he answered.

"I thought I kicked you out." Genma snarled as Neji pushed his way inside and pushed the door closed behind him.

"Please, invite yourself in." Genma continued sarcastically.

Neji took in the room and noted that everyone was at least covered by something. Relieved on that front he turned to look Genma directly in the eye.

"I need your help."

Genma's brows rose and he shifted the senbon from one side of his mouth to the other.

"If you wanted to join in you're going to have to wait. We're a little tired."

Shino grunted from the bed but didn't move from his face down position.

The color that had been rising in Nejis face since he'd started for the door drained away completely.

"N-n-no." He said in an excellent imitation of his cousin.

Genma shook his head at the normally stoic young man. He obviously had something on his mind. Not to mention his chest, neck, shoulders...

"What the hell happened to you?"

Neji shook his head in the negative and swallowed once before taking a shallow breath. He held it while he pulled down his pants. The waist band hitting his stiff member made him groan in pain before he could stop himself.

"Oh." Genma stared at the small silver ring wrapped around Nejis cock and balls.

The bed shifted and Neji refused to look anywhere but Genmas wide astonished eyes. Shino's sharp intake of breath came as one more blow to his dwindling sense of propriety.

"Well, that's... how exactly did you get that on there?" Genma asked while trying to reestablish eye contact.

"Wha... you mean you don't know how to get this off?" Neji's heart began to beat wildly.

"I'm kinky, kid. But this is a little beyond even me." And his eyes, of their own accord, settled back on the shinny piece of jewelry in question.

Neji started to shake. He couldn't get the thing off. He was hard and had been for over an hour. The tender skin of his backside was still prickling and was irritated by his loose pants. His neck and chest were starting to ache. Muscles were starting to tighten or knot up. He was frustrated and confused and all around in a bad mood.

"I don't think he's doing too well." Shino said from the bed.

"YOU THINK!" Neji yelled a little too high and too loud.

The door to the bedroom opened and Chojis head poked in.

"Hey, Neji. We were just wondering where..."

Neji refused to look at the door. He was too busy trying not to hyperventilate. They didn't know how to get the thing off. He was stuck. He couldn't sit down and the hard on was getting really uncomfortable.

"I'll be back." Choji said and slammed the door.

Several other knocks and calls came as the others realized where Neji was. Genma had thrown the lock on the door after Choji's interruption. Neji didn't look like he could take much more. Shino had offered the Hyuuga a seat but he'd declined. He was paler than usual and his eyes were far too big and going glassy by the minute.

"Alright. I don't know how to get this thing off but I'm willing to try." Genma stated and started for Neji when there was a loud bang from the outside door and then the nob turned to the room.

"Hey Genma! Open up!" Asumas voice called from the other side of the door. "Choji said you needed me and..."

Genma flipped the locks and ripped the door open. Asuma fell through it with little grace, Choji on his heels.

"What's the..." Asuma looked up at Neji and Shino. His face turned grim as he turned back to the senbon user. "Which one was it?"

Genma grinned. "Shino. But Neji's the one that needs help."

Asuma blinked and looked back at the man in question seeming to take in more of the situation. Noting Neji's bad parlor and now shaking shoulders he ran his eyes down then stopped.

"Oh hell." He whispered.

Genma nodded and Shino watched them with mild intrigue. Asuma stepped aside and pushed Choji out of the way.

"Kurenai. Could you come here for a moment."

Genma raised a brow. Shino tossed the blankets over his head. Neji whipped his head around in shock.

"NO!" The Hyuuga yelled. "It's bad enough as it is! I don't want..."

But Kurenai walked through the door, took one look at the boy and walked straight over to kneel down in front of him.

"Genma! What the hell!" She said as she studied the ring.

"It wasn't me! I didn't even touch him!" Genma defended.

She took in the disarrayed room. Genmas toweled waist and Nejis lowered pants. Then turned back to level the man with a searing look.

"I swear! I didn't touch him. He came in while I was... he came in here and asked if I could take it off..."

"Knew how to take it off! KNEW HOW! I didn't ask you to take it off!" Neji bellowed and several more heads showed behind Asuma and Choji.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Sasuke cried from the other room.

"You've got a remote! Rewind the damn thing!" Neji bellowed back.

Asuma sighed and turned to deal with whatever the problem was in the other room. Kurenai sighed and turned back to the task at hand.

"Well, I know how to get it off but it won't be comfortable. How long have you had this on?" She asked, noting the deep flush of his member.

"About an hour and a half." Neji replied distressed.

"Well, it won't have done any damage but it won't be pleasant taking off."

"Damage? What damage?" Neji asked faintly.

"What difference does it make. You won't be using it again anyway." Choji said from the door.

"Shut up, Akimichi." Genma said and pushed the larger man out of the door. Immediately it was flooded with Shikamaru and Ino, Kibas head poking over the top of theirs.

"What the hell is that?" Kiba yelled.

"It's a cock ring, dumb ass." Ino explained.

"Genma, you got any butter or oil?" Kurenai asked, poised in front of Nejis privates.

"I got lube in the bathroom." He said.

"I'll get it." Shino said and tossed the sheets aside to head for the shower.

Kurenai blinked after his bare backside then turned a full glare at Genma.

"Why is my former student naked in your bed?" She asked with deceptive sweetness.

"I think 'former' is the word you need to focus on." Genma retorted. "He's a big boy now."

Kurenai glared at him until Shino came out with the lube and dropped it in her hand. She looked up at her former student and stared into his bare face.

"You have really nice eyes, Shino." She said, before untwisting the top and squirting some of the lube in her hand.

Neji watched her smear the clear liquid over her hands and between her fingers. It looked like watered down jelly. Then she reached from him and he jumped back.

"Is there a problem, Neji?" She asked confused.

"You were gonna... you just tried to..." He couldn't seem to get the words out.

"How else am I gonna get it off?" She asked him plainly.

"I... I... I... I don't... uh..." Neji sputtered.

Kurenai huffed just before Asumas voice could be heard from the other room.

"Where the hell did you get this movie????" He yelled.

The sound went off and there was a moment of silence then some tussling sounds. Something made a thumping noise then the sound came back up and Asuma came back to the room.

"Where did they get that movie? If Tsunade found out I had that she'd kill me."

"I don't know how we got them. We picked up some of the regular skin flicks but when we pulled them out we had all nine of the Kyuubi Dreams movies." Shikamaru informed him.

"What were_ you _doing with them, Asuma-sensei?" Ino asked.

Silence.

"Never mind." He turned to Kurenai who was still on her knees looking at Neji. "What's the verdict?"

She sighed and stood up.

"He won't let me touch him to take it off. I don't want him to try and do it himself. He might hurt himself."

"Neji." Asuma looked at the young man with his hands coving himself as best could and looking ready to bolt at any moment. "She knows what she's doing. It won't be the first time she's had to take one off."

Neji shook his head vigorously in the negative and backed to the wall. Ino gave Asuma an appraising look that he luckily didn't see.

"Do you want one of the guys to do it?" Shikamaru asked.

Neji shook his head again.

"You want us to get Gai?" Kiba asked.

Neji nearly cried as he shook his head so hard he staggered.

"Look. You can't take it off yourself unless you cum first to relieve the pressure." Kurenai began.

Nejis head came up and he nodded.

"I can do that myself." He latched on to the idea eagerly.

"It's not going to be..." She stopped short. Looking to the two older men in the room for an explanation.

"It's going to hurt." Genma said. "You've gone to long and the kind of pressure you'll need is going to hurt."

"How do you know what I'll need." Neji said grasping at straws.

Genma looked a little sheepish.

"Sometimes a guy has to take matters into him own hands. I don't have people knocking down my door every night you know."

Ino blinked. "You don't?"

Asuma pushed her out of the door.

"You could try a cold shower?" Kiba offered.

"No. It'll only hurt my..." Neji stopped and seemed to collect himself.

The white eyed man straightened from the wall and with great dignity, walked into the bathroom. The door shut behind him quietly.

"What's he doing? Choji asked from behind Shikamaru.

"Is he alright?" Hinatas voice come from the back of the group.

There was a loud groan then an even louder yelp and then a series of whimpers. Kurenai shook her head.

"I told him it would hurt." Genma said.

The bathroom door opened but Neji didn't come out.

"Alright. You can take it off. But you do it in here." Nejis voice said from the darkened room.

Kurenai nodded and took the lube back from Shino. As she reached the door she flipped on the lights then pulled it shut behind her.

"Well, I guess that takes care of that." Asuma said.

Genma nodded then looked back at the door.

"Who did that to him anyway?"

"Some ANBU named Leiko." Shikamaru said.

Both Asuma and Genma shuddered and looked sympathetically toward the bathroom door as a low whimpering groan came from the other side.

"No wonder he looks so rough." Asuma choked out.

"Yeah. And he was a virgin too." Choji yelled from behind them.

Both mens eyes widened.

"I was thinking he needed medical treatment but he might be seeing a psychologist for the rest of his life." Genma squeaked out.

"How the hell did he get mixed up with her?" Asuma asked.

"Naruto owed her a favor." Hinata said snidely from the back.

"I said I was sorry!" Came the whine of a black and blue Naruto.

"Not sorry enough." She replied before trouncing him again.

"You know," Kiba said as he leaned against the door jam and looked across the room at Shino. "You really do have nice eyes, Shino."

Shino lay down and tossed the sheet back over his head.

**Not sure how I did. Let me know what you think.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hope you enjoyed the last chapter. I don't own Naruto. Yah Yah! Rub it in!**

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"Sakura? Could you come here a moment?" Kurenai called from the bedroom door.

It had been thirty minute since the red eyed kunoichi had gone into the bathroom to help Neji with his "little" problem. The rest of the group had moved quietly back into the room. Firstly, so Sasuke would stop threatening people and secondly, so they could hear what was going on behind the wall. There had been an obscene amount of moaning and Shikamaru, Choji and Ino had kept a watchful eye on their sensei thinking he might get angry. After all, how often does your significant other take intimate jewelry off of a teenager. And a gorgeous one at that?

"Of course, what's wrong? Couldn't you get it off?" She asked as she stood and started for the door.

"Oh yes. It's off. But Neji is having some trouble..." The conversation was cut off by the door shutting.

Kiba growled. "She talking too low for me to hear but Sakura just gasped really loud so I can't be good."

"Do you think one of us needs to go and help?" TenTen asked, ready to help her teammate with anything that required him to be naked.

"No. He's fine. Sakura's probably just healing some of the superficial wounds." Asuma explained. "I just hope Genma behaves himself until they get back out here."

They'd left the senbon user and the bug-nin in the bed. Shino hadn't be in the mood to get up, especially since his cloths were in the bathroom with Neji and Genma had fained exhaustion to stay with him. It had been really cute to watch the older man climb into the sheets and cuddle up. None of them had ever considered him the cute and cuddly type.

"What movie are we on?" Choji asked watching the screen with an inquisitive gaze.

"They just started the sixth. Junko is in this one." Kakashi said on an excited squeal.

"Who's Junko?" Shikamaru asked as he peered at the screen.

"He's the main character from the Ich Ich books." Sakura informed. "But what's he doing in this movie?"

"They're written by the same man." Hinata said as she sipped hot tea.

"What?" Everyone asked collectively.

"They're written by the same man." Hinata said again. "I saw the name on the movie covers when..."

"YOU switched them!" Naruto accused.

Inos jaw dropped along with TenTens. Hinata blushed but didn't deny it. Choji was blinking rapidly and Kiba was staring at the wall in awe. Shikamaru and Asuma just shook their heads.

"I'm not really surprised. I mean, have you SEEN what she reads?" Shikamaru asked.

"No, but I can guess." Asuma offered.

"So who's the author of these things anyway?" Sasuke asked, now intrigued enough to pay a little attention to the conversation.

There was a loud thump from the wall. Sasuke rolled his eyes and went back to watching the movie with Kakashi. Lee, however looked toward the doorway nearly ready to jump.

"What was that?" Ino asked as she moved a little closer to the wall.

"It was Neji hitting the wall." Hinata said.

Naruto and Kiba looked to her and gaped. She had on her byakugan and was staring intently at the wall.

"_Sakura? What are you doing?" _Neji's voice came high and clear from the other side.

"What is she doing?" Ino asked, now staring at Hinata as well.

"I can't see her." She peered around a little. "She's in front of him. Wait. Wait. I can see her hands. She has them on his hips."

"_I don't care if it will go faster! I can do this myself!" _Neji once more cried through the wall.

"Seriously, Hinata! What's she doing??" TenTen asked now a little alarmed.

"Is Neji in need of assistance? I would be glad to offer mine!" Lee announce as he started to stand.

"_SAKURA! WAIT..." _There was a moment of silence and Hinatas eyes became wider as she stared at the wall.

"I swear! If you don't SHUT UP in there I'm going to..." Sasuke started.

"_Shut it, Uchiha! Or I'm cutting off your spiking gel and mousse supply!" _Sakura muffled

Moments later there was a ear piercing shriek then quiet. Hinata shut off her byakugan and shuddered. Sasuke turned three shades of red before mumbling something about pink hair dye and going back to the movie.

"What just happened?" Ino and TenTen asked.

Asuma sat back with his feet propped on a low table. Kiba gaped at the wall and almost looked like he was crying. Hinata refused to speak. Shikamaru had fallen asleep since they'd been up for 24 hours.

"It's just not fair." Kiba whined. "Why him? He didn't even WANT it and he gets it twice in the same night."

"What do you mean, gets IT twice in the same night? What did he just get??" TenTen fumed.

"I didn't even know you could get that much in your mouth?" Hinata said quietly as she looked to Naruto for reassurance.

The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing was followed by a low grown farther into the bedroom.

"_Shino has training tomorrow, Genma. If he can't walk properly when he gets there, or doesn't show up at all, I'm coming for you. And I'll bring Shizune with me." _Kurenai said.

The door opened on Genmas "Spoilsport" and Shino's low chuckle.

"Everything alright now?" Asuma asked, standing.

"Yeah. He'll be fine. Sakura's healing the rest of the damage then he'll be out."

"What did she do to him?" TenTen asked still irritated.

Asuma cleared his throat and started pushing Kurenai to the door before she could answer.

"Well, gotta go! Have fun everyone! Nice to see you! Return the movies when you're done! And DON'T tell the Hokage you have them!"

With that he pushed a laughing Kurenai out the door, all the while telling her not to say a word about this to Izumo or Kotetsu. Her peels of laughter grew louder as the door closed behind them.

"Wonder what that was all about?" Shikamaru pondered.

TenTen stood and stomped to the bedroom, flinging the door open.

"Hey!" Genma yelled.

"Get a room!" TenTen groused.

"This IS MY ROOM!" Genma fumed.

The bathroom door opened and shut. There were some muffled words but no yelling. Kiba seemed to get disinterested in the conversation and moved on to other things.

"Hey, Sasuke. Naruto and Hinata are at it again." Kiba intoned lightly.

Sasuke glanced their way but the pull of the movie was too strong and he turned back to the screen without a second glance.

"I'll catch up with them later." He tossed behind him.

The door to the bathroom opened again and Shinos voice came through the open bedroom door.

"This place is like the Hokages office. Someone's always going in and out of it and it's never good."

"Oh, don't say that. I can make it good." Genma replied.

Neji was the first out of the door. His face flush and his hands behind his back. TenTen was next looking petulant but mostly nonthreatening. Sakura come out last with a small pocket notebook in hand and shut the door behind her with a muttered "sorry".

"Everything alright now?" Choji asked.

"Yeah... It's good..." Neji muttered as he rolled into a sitting position on the large futon.

"You're cousins doing it again." Kiba said from beside the vacant Hyuuga male.

"Yeah... That's good..."

"Neji?" Ino called.

"What did you do to him, my lovely cherry blossom?" Lee asked.

Sakura looked up from her small notebook, confused, then looked to Neji. Her mouth formed a silent "O". She shut the notebook and put it back in her pocket then tossed the pencil on the short table.

"I gave him a chakra soaked oral stimulation massage to help facilitate a quicker release. The chakra infusion helps easy the pain of passage when the blood flow has been restricted for too long." She explained.

Everyone looked a little puzzled as they eyed her and then Neji. The man in question was staring at absolutely nothing. His eyes were glassy and he seemed more than a little relaxed. He seemed almost euphoric. Shikamaru, however, was staring at Sakura in abject horror.

"What does that mean exactly?" Kiba asked, more than a little confused by the explanation.

"It means..." Sakura began.

"You gave him a medicinal BLOWJOB???"

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"Kurenai-sensei's right. I do have training in the morning and I'm always on time. If I'm late, Kiba will never let me hear the end of it." Shino explained to a distracted Genma.

"Oh, don't worry." Genma replied as he slid beneath the sheets. "You'll get your training."

Shinos eyes crossed and his head dropped a little deeper into the pillows.

"Somehow, I don't think this is what she had in mind." Shino managed before losing the ability to speak.

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**I know it's short but I'll have more soon. Hope this wet your appetite. Only three more movies to go. Read and Review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**And Now. The next exciting episode.**

I was having a little trouble concentrating with all the outbursts but Sasuke seemed to be keeping the natives in line. Though I had a feeling it wouldn't last too much longer. It seemed Sakura had the upper hand on my darker twin and he was having some trouble getting around her more blunt attacks. As it was she'd made her own tactical error within the group and...

_(just a normal flashback... or is it?)_

"TenTen. I don't think she can breath." Ino said calmly

Kiba and Lee were trying to pry the girls hands off of Sakuras neck. The pink hair kunoichi had been so stunned by the attack she hadn't thought to defend herself. Now she was flat on her back with her arms pinned under TenTens legs, face turning several shades of red and now an alarming blue.

"TenTen. I'm sure it was a totally clinical procedure. She's sure to have seen it done before. And even if she hadn't she was doing it because he was in pain." Shikamaru continued in the same vein as Ino.

"Neji. Tell her you were in pain and that is was totally clinical. Neji?" Hinata waved a hand in front of her cousins face.

"Sure... That's good..." Neji muttered still smiling vacantly.

"Oi, Sakura! Just kick her already!" Naruto yelled.

He and Hinata had stopped playing the moment TenTen had jumped over the chair and tackled Sakura to the ground with a shrill cry of "you whoring bitch". Hinata had since been trying to rouse Neji while Naruto was being held back by a shocked Chojis now disproportionately large arms. Apparently his slitted red eyes, over long claws and Kiba-sharp incisors had become a cause for concern.

"I got one!" Kiba yelled as he pried one of TenTens hands loose.

"TenTen! LET HER GO!" Lee screamed in TenTens ear.

Akamaru growled from his position next to Kiba.

"No, you can't bite her!" Kiba said and the dog snuffed. "Fine but no biting."

Akamaru whined then lifted both paws and pressed them to TenTens chest. The weapons expert looked up with wild eyes that widened as the dog opened his large mouth and breathed hot, fowl air into her face. Lee caught a whiff and gagged.

"What do you feed him?" Lee asked as he regained his stomach.

Kiba let go of TenTen as she fell to the floor and attempted to wipe the taste from her tongue on Shikamarus discarded jacket.

"There wasn't a lot in the kitchen so he had eggs and bacon." Kiba sighed.

A loud ripping sound filled the room moments before the smell hit. Akamaru whine and Kiba stood, placing a hand on the dogs head.

"Come on. I'll let you out. But no dumping at the Hyuugas front gates. Hinatas dad knows it's you and gives mom grief. You know what that means, don't you?" Kiba scolded.

Akamaru whined again and dance around a bit before heading for the front door, Kiba at his heels. Sakura came up sputtering only to choke on the first breath of air she got. TenTen simply stayed with her head pressed to the floor.

"I always thought it was Shizune taking TonTon for a round about walk, since father made her mad over that late night visit incident." Hinata mused.

"What late night visit?" Shikamaru asked as he once again dropped to the floor hoping the smell would rise rather than fall.

"Who cares! Someone open a window! It's worse than those damn snakes!" Sasuke said as he pulled up the neck of his shirt to cover the lower half of his face now making him the dark twin of Kakashi.

Lee jumped to his feet and opened every available window. When he reached the front he stood at the window a moment before walking back into the room.

"There's an ANBU talking to Kiba outside."

Naruto ducked under the blankets of the mat and muttered a hasty "I'm not here" before going completely still. Choji just shook his head and resumed his seat, taking small quick breaths until the smell cleared.

"Damn..._cough cough_... TenTen! What the..._cough_... Hell?" Sakura yelled as she tried to regain use of her airways.

"You know what! I can't beLIEVE you fucking did that!" TenTen screamed.

"Did WHAT???" Sakura screamed back.

There was a crack and everyone looked to see the back of Sasukes reversed chair splinter in his hands. His eyes were livid as he turned them on the two bickering girls.

"Would you... mind keeping it down? I'm trying to hear." He said in calm even tones that didn't match his voice.

"You... you... after all the time I've spent trying to get my foot in and you..." TenTen sputtered out.

Sakura looked at her in complete awe.

"You like him? I didn't know you liked him?"

Shikamaru sighed and continued pretending to sleep. Lee even rolled his eyes at the sheer naivety of the pink shinobi.

"You're an idiot, forehead." Ino remarked as she eyed Shikamarus still form.

Hinata shifted back onto the sleep mat and slid soundlessly under the covers while no one was looking.

"Well, hell, TenTen. I was just healing him. You wanna blow his mind go do it to him now. I doubt he'll complain." Sakura said as she felt her neck for injuries.

"Are you sure?" Choji asked. "He doesn't look all there right now."

"It's just a little afterglow. He'll get over it in a minute." She explained.

"But you used medical stuff on him. I can't put chakra in my mouth to make it all hot and steamy." TenTen wailed.

"The chakra only healed and kept it from being painful. Otherwise it would have hurt and he would never want a woman to touch him again." Sakura continued.

"Which is, I believe, exactly what he wanted in the first place." Shikamaru stated from his prone position, eyes still closed. Ino grinned.

"Little late for that." Sasuke muttered then dropped his chin on his hands.

"Fine. Whatever. I'm just saying, go over there and cuddle up. Since he's in a good mood you can probably talk him into it again." The pink-haired girl stated.

TenTen blinked a moment then looked over at Neji. He was starting to look a little more aware. The smile was fading around the edges and he wasn't quite as slumped. Making the decision she jumped up and planted herself on the futon next to him. He turned his head to look at her, eyes hooded and almost sleepy looking. When she leaned back into the arm of the futon and patted her shoulder he only hesitated a moment before lowering himself and settling his head in the crook between her arm and breast.

"Well, now that's settled, what's going on?" Sakura asked.

"You never gave me a blowjob." Sasuke mumbled but didn't look up from the movie.

"You never gave me an orgasm. So we're even." She replied then looked away as he lowered his collar from his shocked expression as the front door opened.

Kiba walked into the room with Akamaru looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. The overgrown white dog dropped to the floor and Kiba dropped him front of him, using his big body as a pillow.

"What happened to you?" Choji asked.

Little squeals could be heard from the other side of the room. The sheet on the mat rippling here and there as the occupants moved around under it.

"Oh yeah. Rub it in you two." Kiba muttered.

"You look like someone kicked your dog." Ino said as she slid closer to a seemingly unsuspecting shadow-nin.

"There was a chick outside and she was looking for Naruto. I told her he wasn't around. Which wasn't a total lie since he wasn't around me at the time. But I thought about what happened to Neji."

Neji winced in TenTens arms. She lighted rubbed him and murmured a few words of comfort and he relaxed again. She then grinned and gave a Lee inspired thumbs up to Sakura.

"I was thinking maybe that could happen to me. I mean, I'm not picky. So I tell her if she needs a favor I'll be glad to take care of it for her. I didn't even say it with the guy voice. I made it sound like I was going to water the flowers or whatever."

He paused for a moment and sighed.

"And she just turned me down. She didn't even give me a once over or anything. She just looked at me and said, 'No thanks' then left."

He looked at Ino and Sakura sitting in front of him. Ino pretending to look interested as she worked her way to Shikamaru. Sakura looking sympathetic.

"I'm not a bad looking guy. At least I don't think I am. I'm gone out with girls before. No one's ever complained about anything. What am I doing wrong? Neji didn't want it and he gets it twice," He looked toward the futon, "possibly three times in one night. Naruto's over there putting the world to shame. Even Shino has someone."

Sakura watched as Kiba sat up and dropped his head in his hands. Akamaru whined and curled up behind him.

"Maybe you should go gay. Then you' ll have your own personal sex toy on missions with you." Ino said as she finally made upon the shadow-nin.

"Shut it, Pig."Sakura spat out.

"That's not the problem." Choji said. "They call Kiba the five-minute-man at the barbecue place."

Kiba's head flew up and he gaped at Choji.

"WHAT????"

"Five-minute-man. As in, finished and gone in five minutes. Apparently you don't hold up long enough for them to get theirs. Girls like to get theirs." Choji continued.

"Damn straight!" Ino said and reached for Shikamaru only to find he had moved to the other side of Kakashi when she wasn't looking.

"GIRLFRIEND" He mouthed and dropped to the floor to continue his nap.

"But... But... But..." Kiba stuttered.

"But nothing. You better build up your endurance or you're not getting shit." Naruto said, his head poking out of the blankets.

"You owe me!" Kiba pointed an accusing finger at Naruto.

Suddenly Sakuras eyes widened and she seemed to brighten.

"Yeah, knucklehead. You DO owe him." She said and walked over to start pulling him from under the sheets.

"Hey!" He yelled.

"Sorry guys but Kibas needs currently outweigh yours." She offered as she yanked a half naked Naruto from under the sheet.

He scrambled to pull up his boxers then glared at his teammate.

"What gives??" He asked hotly.

"You're going to give Kiba some advise. Good advise. Then you can go back to your romp." Sakura explained.

"Awe, come on Sakura! Can't you do it?" Naruto complained.

"I don't have nearly the knowledge you seem to have in this area. Just suck it up and help him. He's pitiful." She pointed out a crestfallen Kiba with his fangs pressing into a pouted bottom lip.

Naruto grumbled for a moment then sighed.

"Fine. He really does look sad. I'll see what I can do."

With that he walked over to Kiba, grabbed his arm and pulled him up, asking him to come to the kitchen for a moment since outside he'd be seen and the conversation cut very short.

Sakura smiled and walked over to sit next to Shikamaru. Before he could move she dropped her chakra infused hand on his chest and held him down. He grunted and his eyes opened wide.

"Girlfriend." He squeaked.

"Don't care." She replied.

Ino fumed. Choji laughed. Sasuke sulked.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

Kiba stood in the kitchen with his mouth hanging open. Naruto didn't waste time in anything, including explaining the many ways to pleasure women.

"Now. If you want to mix it up a little you can put your fingers in the..."

It wasn't clinical but it was very very frank and he found himself wincing at some of the more aggressive ways of getting a girl to cum.

"Now some girls really like bitting. Just make sure you ask first, with the fangs and all. Don't be afraid to make a mark and if they really beg for it..."

Kiba nodded numbly as the blond continued all the while thinking maybe it would be simpler to just go gay. At least then he'd know what he was doing.

"And now, on to oral sex..."

This was going to be a long conversation.

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Genma mumbled unintelligibly as he shifted restlessly on the bed. Shinos arms hands held him still as he worked and Genma wondered briefly just how many Aburame were carrying kakai and if they knew how to use them as well.

"Ahm ah tuin i ooi?"

"H-ho-holly shit! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to talk with a full mouth?"

Shino chuckled. Genma whimpered.

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**Well, here it is. Hope you enjoy. Please read and review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Well, here it is. The next installment. I've been dreaming of Genma lately. Don't know why. So he's gotten a little more screen time. Have fun.**

"Was that alright?" Shino asked as he slipped from under the blankets.

Genma groggily grabbed the towel from his side of the bed and tossed it at him.

"You really didn't have to do that. But yes, it was more than alright. I think I actually saw stars."

Groaning, the senbon expert pulled himself up on his elbows and turned to the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Shino asked as he wiped off his face

Genma smiled, looking back over his shoulder at the younger ninja.

"You need a break. In fact, so do I. I'm not sure how long we've been in here but everyone's probably wondering if I've killed you yet."

"I wasn't _that _loud." Shino replied sheepishly.

Genma chuckled and chucked the younger man under the chin.

"Yes you were."

With that he sat up on the side of the bed and ran his hands through his dusty brown hair.

"I am a little hungry." Shino admitted before sliding up beside the older man. "Think there's any food left in the kitchen?"

Snorting, Genma rolled his eyes.

"With Choji here, I doubt it." He cut his eyes to Shino. "But we can go check. Why don't you grab your clothes." He pouted a little around his senbon. "Though I hate to see you dress."

Shino smiled widely. A wholly unfamiliar look to Genma having never really seen the young mans face until night day. He really did have the most beautiful eyes. It was a shame he hid them behind those glasses.

"I'll try to keep it to the basics." The bug-nin replied cheekily.

Genma watched him move with efficient grace to the bathroom and disappear behind the door.

"Man, I am so screwed."

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"Now, wait... I do what with my teeth?"

Naruto growled but gamely sat crossed legged in front of a studiously attentive Kiba. Apparently oral sex was an untouched topic in the Inuzuka house hold. The blond had been trying to explain it to him for more than an hour.

"Having some trouble?" Lee asked as he stepped into the kitchen to grab a drink.

"I just don't understand it. How am I suppose to put my hand there and use my teeth at the same time? Won't my thumb get in the way? And what's this about coving both holes? I'm only using one of them and..." Kibas brow furrowed in frustration.

"Perhaps I can help." Lee offered and dropped to face their sides, crossing his legs as well.

Naruto sighed and told Lee exactly what he'd told Kiba. Lee thought for a moment. Letting Narutos words run through his head, then snapped his fingers and gave a dazzling smile.

"I'VE GOT IT!!" He exclaimed.

"Well, tell it to me." Kiba whined.

Naruto watched in awe and with a little trepidation as Lee began to translate in "his own words" exactly what Naruto had said. His jaw dropped at a few of the more interesting names Lee gave body parts, but on the whole it hadn't been that bad. What shocked him most, though, was the look of complete horror on Kibas face as he stared at the green man.

"Is something wrong, Kiba?" Lee asked in concern.

"I... I think I actually understood that." Kiba replied faintly.

"That's great!" Naruto cried happily, completely drowning out a scream from Shikamaru.

"No it's not." Kiba continued near tears.

"Why not?" The blond asked, confused.

"I'm turning into one of them." Kiba whispered with a tear filled look toward Lee's large shining eyes.

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Hinata had given up her place on the sleep mat to sit next to Ino. The bouncy blond had taken advantage and was asking the purple haired girl as many questions as she could about her little tryst with Naruto, getting as much information as possible. Sasuke, sitting next to them, had activated his sharingan to watch the movie as he covertly listened in on the girls conversation. Neji, much to TenTens dismay, had fallen asleep thirty minutes before and she was now trying to find a way to get out from under the heavy Hyuuga.

"Really, Sakura, she's going to be pissed if she finds out." Shikamaru whined as he actually made an effort to get the pink vixen off of his person.

They'd taken over the mat. Well, Sakura had dragged him over to the mat. After a few screams and protests she'd gotten him settled and nearly undressed. She was working on his pants now. He was acutely aware that he was nearly naked while she was still completely clothed.

"Then she won't find out." Sakura replied as she worked the fastening on his pants. Clasp after clasp came loose at her touch and with each "pop" Shikamaru's voice raised another octave.

"B-b-but you don't understand... get your hands out of there!" He screamed.

"Not this time, cloud boy." She replied and drove her hand under the waistband of his shorts.

His scream was cut off by a pillow shoved in his face. Moments later he was fighting for air instead of independence. Sakura let him flounder for a moment as she held the pillow over his face with her super strength. When she thought he'd had enough she pulled it away, leaning directly over his face.

"You want to keep it down? Kakashi and Sasuke are trying to watch a movie." She told him in low malicious tones.

He sucked in air for a moment before quietly responding.

"I'd say you were crazy or troublesome but I think you'd kill me."

"You'd be right." She replied with a smile the mirror image of Tsunade's.

"I'll be good," was his wide eyed reply.

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_(present)_

Dawn was breaking as we neared the end of the sixth movie. I was more than a little excited. Junkos appearance had been more than I could have hoped for and the knowledge that these movies had been done by the same author as my beloved Icha Icha... well, I knew I'd found a master of the arts. This time with the young shinobi of the village had been entertaining and informative. I was sure I'd never forget...

_(here we go again)_

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Genma had just pulled on his shirt when Shino walked out of the bathroom. He'd only pulled on his pants, t-shirt and dark glasses. The defining muscles of his chest and arms clearly visible through the tight material. His hair was properly tied back again and his sandals were in his hand.

"I take it back. You look just as good with the clothes on."

Shino grinned and pinked at the cheeks a little then tried to cover it with a cough.

"So... do we have food?"

It was Genmas turn to grin as he pulled on his sandals and popped a senbon between his lips.

"Put on your shoes. We're going out."

Shino looked through the crack in the window covers.

"It's barely dawn. Nothings going to be open." Puzzled he started pulling on his sandals.

"Oh, I think we can find something. After all, not all shinobi keep daytime hours."

Shino looked up and his eyes widened before a smirk tipped the corners of his mouth. He pulled on his last shoe and went to get his coat. Genma grabbed him before he could walk away, placing a hand on the young ninjas lower abdomen.

"Leave the coat." He drawled, moving closer and scraping the tip of the senbon against Shino's exposed neck.

The bug-nin shuddered and the kakai swarmed under his skin to reach the points of contact with the other man.

"Okay." Shino whispered.

Taking a deep breath and savoring the feel of tiny fingers under his lovers flesh, he pulled back and used the same hand to guide Shino to the door.

"Now. What are you in the mood for? My treat."

Shino smiled inwardly. The man had no idea what a treat he had been.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

"It's too early in the damn morning for this, Temari. Why couldn't we have slept for another hour or two?" Kankuro groused as he and his sister trudged up to the main gates of Konoha.

"Because I'm ready for a bed." _Preferably one with Shikamaru in it,_ she thought. "Plus, it's going to rain and I didn't want to travel the rest of the way here wet." _At least not that kind of wet,_ she amended to herself.

Kankuro sighed when he saw the gates and the two guards standing by them. Izumo and Kotetsu must have pissed off the Hokage to get stuck with night duty.

"Oi!" He yelled by way of greeting.

Temari rolled her eyes and handed over the papers for their entrance.

"Thought you two weren't coming until tomorrow?" Izumo asked.

"SOMEONE was in a hurry." Kankuro griped as he headed through the gates behind his sister.

"Well, if you're not too tired and want to have a little fun, all your old 'buddies' are at Genmas place. Word is their having a party. Apparently it's a big hit with the ANBU." Kotetsu yelled after them.

"A party! Now we're talking! I could use a little R and R!" The puppeteer whooped as he danced past Temari.

She simply rolled her eyes and followed in his wake. Wondering how long it would take him to realize he had no idea where Genma lived.

**And there it is. Hope it satisfies. Plenty of fun to come. At least I hope it's fun. Till then, Read and REVIEW!!!!!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry to keep you waiting. With the issue of downed Login last night it had to wait until today. Also, for those that haven't noticed, the group is between 19 and twenty in this and Asuma hasn't died (yes I'm in denial). Here we go…**

Shino moved in next to Genma on the smooth cushions of the booth. There were two sides, of course, but neither felt the need to use the other. Genma leaned back into the wall and propped one foot up in the seat. The site was more than a little provocative.

The bar was intimate and stayed open all night to accommodate the shinobi who came in from missions too tired to sleep and needing to wind down. There were very few in this time of morning. The sun wasn't up yet and the shift was just changing. Genma watched as Izumo and Kotetsu came in the open front and dropped into stools, each ordering a drink then dropping their heads on the counter in almost perfect synchronicity.

"Well, what are you hungry for?" Genma asked with a cheeky grin.

Shinos answer was to lower his dark glasses and lean in very, very close. His chest brushed against Genmas raised knee, causing it to push wider. Genmas eyes hooded and his mouth slackened at the raw look in Shinos now exposed eyes.

"Shrimp rolls." Shino whispered a hand span from his face.

Genma licked his lips. "Shrimp rolls?"

"Shrimp rolls."

They held for a moment, only breaking their pose as the server came to the booth to take the order. Both were so engrossed in their own thoughts, neither noticed the pissed off kunoichi and painted shinobi arguing as they stomped past the open bar front.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

"Face it, dip shit, we're lost."

Temari blew a stray hair out of her face and quickened her steps to keep up with her thick headed brother.

"We are NOT lost!" Kankuro shouted back, not bothering to look behind. "I just have to get my bearings, that's all."

"Riiiiiight!" Temari added snidely.

"I don't see you doing any better." Kankuro groused as he turned down a side street and passed an open front all night bar.

"I said we needed to ask for directions. But you in your infinite wisdom decided you didn't need them." She aimed the back of her hand at his head, connecting with a sound crack.

"OW!!"

"What is it with men and directions?" She grumbled.

"I don't need directions. This guys place won't be hard to find if theirs a party."

Temari blinked and stopped in the middle of the street. It took Kankuro a moment to realize she wasn't following and turn to look at her.

"So, you're assuming they party here like they do in Suna?" Temari asked with mild strain.

"A parties a party, Temari." Kankuro shrugged.

"Brother dear," she started sweetly, "haven't you ever noticed these people are a little sheltered?"

Kankuro looked at her puzzled.

"They don't cut loose the way a lot of other villages do." She offered.

He stilled looked confused. Temari sighed.

"This town in full of t-totaling virgins." She continued.

Kankuro looked skeptical.

"Okay, so that was a little harsh but still. Look at his place. All the good little shinobi are out at the crack of dawn doing exactly what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it with a smile on their face." She sneered at the passers by.

"Uh, Temari. That happens in ever village. There's always a bunch of goody goodies here and there. Just look at that Lee guy." Temari snorted and he shrugged. "And as far as their moral fiber… have you met Narutos sensei? That's got to be the dirties old man to ever live."

Temari shook her head and sighed.

"You think you know these people but you don't. They're so upstanding it hurts."

Kankuro blinked but held his tongue and the retort behind it. He looked toward the open bar, catching site of a familiar afro of dark brown hair. He gave his sister a wary look then started inside.

"You know. I think I'll just ask directions."

"Finally!" She moaned and followed him inside.

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Rivers of tears streamed down Kibas face as he cried into Narutos shoulder. Hinata stood behind him giving what comfort she could while Lee stood looking happy but confused.

"I do not understand, Kiba? Why, if you wanted the information, are you so unhappy to get it?" Lee asked, truly puzzled by the dog-nins hysterics.

"I u-understood EVERY WOOOOORD!" Kiba wailed and dropped his head in his hands.

Naruto patted his shoulder looking uncomfortable and Hinata kept offering soothing sounds and shooting quick glances at Naruto.

"Come on Kiba, it's not that bad." Naruto started. "I mean, a lot of people find Lee descriptions a lot easier to deal with than others. It doesn't mean you're going green. You just … "

"Yeah, and Naruto's never been a very good teacher!" Hinata offered.

"HEY!!" Naruto called over Kibas head, incensed.

"Sorry, I was just trying to help." Hinata cringed.

Kiba nodded and moved from the two of them, past Lee and out of the kitchen. Lee, still confused, shrugged and stepped out of the kitchen as well.

"Oi, Hinata. I thought you liked what the way I taught." Naruto pouted.

"Oh, I do. You're really good at the hands on."

"What do you mea… Oooooooh!" The light dawned and Narutos face lit up.

"And i-if you don't mind… I-I could really use an-another lesson?" She stuttered, watching his face flush red.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

Shino was taking a bite of shrimp from Gemnas fingers when he felt a sharp tug on his shirt. He turned from his dinner only to see the dark hood and red face paint of a Suna puppeteer. His eyes narrowed but Kankuro was simply staring at him. Shino spared a glance at Temari standing behind her brother. She smirked then blinked and stared at him too. Puzzled he narrowed his eyes… his eyes! Quickly he turned his back on the duo and grabbed his glasses off the table while Genma chuckled at him from the deep shadows of the booth. Once he had them in place he turned back to the sand shinobi.

"Can I help you?" He asked stoically.

Kankuro simply frowned at the dark glasses.

"You have REALLY gorgeous eyes!" He whispered.

Temari simply nodded agreement.

"That's not the only nice thing he has." Genma murmured quietly.

Shino blushed.

"We need directions to Genmas house." Temari asked as she moved closer to the table.

Kankuro blinked into the dim light of the booth.

"That shouldn't be too hard." Genma said from the dark, sandal foot tapping lightly on Shino's thigh.

Kankuro looked down to see the senbon users fingers brush against the exposed skin of Shinos arm before he leaned out of the shadows. The other hand sliding behind the bug-nins shoulder and pulled him in close.

"Sorry, we didn't see you there." Temari said a little stunned.

"No problem. Why do you need directions to my house?"

Temari and Kankuro exchanged a look before turning back to the obvious couple.

"Shikamaru. I need to find Shikamaru." Temari offered in explaination.

"Ah." Genma said with a wicked smile and gave them the brief directions to his apartment. Apparently they'd passed it on the way in.

"Thank you." Temari said as Kankuro grumbled.

"No problem. Hope you find everything you're looking for." He added.

"What?" Temari blinked.

"Oh, nothing." Genma said and raised another piece of shrimp to Shinos lips.

The sand siblings moved out of the bar and back the way they'd come.

"Isn't he a little old for Shino?" Kankuro asked.

Temari didn't look at him.

"Isn't it strange to know that Shino's gay?" She asked instead.

"No. Not really. That bug thing's a really turn off with the ladies."

Kotetsu slapped Izumo on the back and pointed toward the booth the sand siblings had just left. Both gaped as Genma leaned into and over a coatless Shino for a kiss no one should be sharing in public.

"Think Anko will be jealous?" Izumo asked as he picked up his sake cup and sucked down the contents with a wince.

"Nah. She'll just try to outdo him. Maybe we should warn Konohamaru. The honorable grandson would be right up her alley? If she could get past Asuma that is." Kotetsu replied as he turned back to the bar and another bottle.

"I'd warn Kakashi." Izumo shot back as he turned to his friend.

"Okay, what's the pool? Two hundred?"

Both men grinned and started discussing the particulars of the bet.

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Shikamaru whimpered as the sheet over him moved and he felt Sakuras hands in areas that shouldn't have her hands.

"Sakura? Could we talk about this?" He whined.

Her head popped up to his chest for a moment, peering from under the sheet.

"Go right ahead. I'll be listening from down here."

She dropped under the sheet again and he felt her hands move lower and lower.

"Did you know you have a scar on your left hip in the shape of a cross?" Sakura asked as she fingered said scare gently.

"Yah!" The shadow-nin squeaked.

"And you have a birthmark on the inside of your right thigh. That's a really odd place for a birthmark." She remarked.

"Nice to know. Uh… Sakura?"

"Yes?" She answered making him jump as her breath sighed out over his exposed skin.

"As much as I like the attention," he whimpered slightly as her hand ran around his now hard cock, never quite touching, "I really think you should stop. Temari really will be mad if she finds out and she's due here …"

There was a knock at the door then it simply opened.

"Oi! Anyone in here??" Kankuros voice carried into the room.

"Wow, that was prophetic." Sakura muttered as she slid back up Shikamarus body but not out from under the sheet.

The door slammed shut and a hiss sounded before the room went very quiet. Even the movie stopped playing for a moment.

"Where's Shikamaru?" Temari asked in clipped tones.

There was a moment more of silence before Choji spoke.

"Hiya Temari."

Shikamaru sighed in relief.

"He's under the sheet with Sakura." He continued.

"Wow!" Ino remarked in shock.

"That's wrong!" Kiba hissed in horror.

Shikamaru threw himself upright on the mat, dislodging Sakura, and stared, horrified at his best friend. Sakura pulled the sheet back into the shadow-nin's lap to cover his nudity. It wasn't lost on anyone that she was still clothed.

Choji shrugged apologetically and munched a chip.

"Sorry, but it's every man for himself." Shikamaru choked and sputtered. "I told you, you should have told them about your girlfriend earlier. No one listens to me."

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**Well, it's late and I'm a little wobbly but I hope this was good. Please read and review.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Don't own Naruto. This surprises no one. Just a note to the readers. I'm not sure if I have stated it but Kakashi has been untied. Since it was obvious he wasn't going to leave. If I didn't make that clear, I'm sorry. May I die a thousand deaths at Hidans hands. On second thought, I really don't want to die that way. Never mind.**

"Should have told them you have a girlfriend?" Temari ground out from clenched teeth.

"She was molesting me!" Shikamaru yelled uncharacteristically as he pointed at an unconcerned Sakura.

"Is that right?" Temari replied while Kankuro whistled low and smiled.

"You are so dead." The puppeteer said, grinning widely.

"Shut up, Kankuro!" His sister yelled then turned her attention back to her wayward boyfriend. Or should she say EX.

"Really, Mari! It's not what you think. See. Her clothes are still on and everything." Shikamaru explained a little nervously.

"Yes. I see. And how is it that she managed to get yours off? I'm sure that you put up one hell of a fight. You are, after all, a genius are you not?"

Snickering could be heard from behind the livid wind princess as her brother tried not to laugh out loud. The others simply looked everywhere but at her. All except Choji and Ino.

"He said he had a girlfriend. He never said who. At least not until Sakura had him nearly naked. He sure as hell didn't say anything when the three of us had him on the floor earlier." Ino grumbled.

Shikamaru looked sick. Sakura picked at her nails. Choji just nodded sagely. Sasuke and Kakashi were paying far too much attention to the credits on the now ended sixth movie. TenTen twiddled her thumbs while Neji snored. Lee began to cry at the site of Sakura with a naked Shikamaru. Kiba simply whistled a happy tune and stayed out of the way.

"Three?" The wind princess all but growled.

"Uh..." Shikamaru sunk a little farther into the sheets and a little more behind Sakura.

Kankuro sputtered at the sight and lost all control. He dropped to the floor in a fit of laughter, pulling his hood off to wipe at his weeping eyes.

"Three." Temari, having regained a little composure, said thoughtfully.

"To give him credit, he really did say no." Choji informed. "But he didn't fight very hard."

Ino, Kiba, Sakura, and TenTen all gaped at him.

"What?" Choji looked hurt. "He was wrong. He should have put up more of a fight or at least told you about Temari. It's not right. All he ever does is complain. He should treat her better."

There was silence then a collective sigh from all the girls. Kiba, Shikamaru and now even Kankuro still looked horrified.

"That's not right. You don't throw your best friend to the wolves like that." Kankuro muttered.

"You did." Temari shot back at him.

"I didn't throw him to the wolves. I threw him to Gaara." Kankuro groused, folding his arms over his broad chest. "And he was sleeping with my girlfriend at the time."

"You don't say." His sister smiled sinisterly at the man and woman still seated on the sleep mat.

"Now, Mari? Think about this. It's obvious nothing has happened. Two people can't have sex when one isn't even undressed and..." Shikamaru started only to be interrupted.

"Actually, that's not true." Kiba cut in. "According to what Naruto told me, you can do a lot when one person is completely dressed.

Shikamaru, visions of sand coffins dancing in his head, regarded Kiba with murderous intent while Sakura shrugged and went back to picking at her nails, all the while keeping an eye on Temari. The woman in question simply looked around the room in deep if dangerous thought. When she smiled more than one person cringed.

"No, no. I won't give him to Gaara." Kankuro brightened up considerably. "Or to Kankuro." Then looked completely crestfallen.

"Awe, Temari. Can't I rough him up just a little?" The puppeteer whined.

"No. I guess I can understand being lonely without your **girlfriend **around to keep you occupied." She said with false understanding.

Most everyone started to relax, except Shikamaru.

"Baby?" Shikamaru frowned at her syrupy tone. "If you could choose one guy in this room for a girl to have a good time with, besides yourself of course, who would it be?"

The shadow wielder looked stricken as he hung his head in what could only be described as shame.

"So!" Kakashi jumped up into the sudden silence and walked to the dvd player. "Who's up for the next exciting chapter of Kyuubi Dreams?"

No one seemed to be listening until he caught sight of Kankuros face. It flushed moments before he looked up in terror at his sister. Seeing that she either hadn't heard or wasn't paying attention he sent a pleading look toward the copy-nin. Kakashi shrugged and with an eye crease, put in the seventh movie.

"Shika? Baby?" Temari's eyes gleamed with a suppressed urge to commit mass murder.

Shikamaru's calculating eyes were settled into a somber face as he lifted his them to the sand kunoichi. His gaze drifted over the room, taking in each male sitting within reach. He thanked the Hokage that Naruto was otherwise occupied. Running his options in a moment he gave his girlfriend a pleading look and answered in his most sincere and downtrodden voice.

"Is this really necessary?" One last try for reasoning though he knew it wouldn't work.

"Are you going to answer my question or should I ask someone else?"

The seventh movie started and all eyes turned to the screen to avoid the very uncomfortable atmosphere being produced by the two lovers. All except Sakura, who was busy writing notes in her notebook again, and Lee, who was busy blowing his nose on a matted hankie.

Shikamaru sighed and looked down at his hands clasped in his lap.

"Sasuke. I'd choose Sasuke." He mumbled.

Sakura blinked and started to open her mouth only to have Temari interrupt her with a snort.

"I don't think so." Shikamaru's head came up. "I've heard about him. He sucks in the sack. Not to mention his questionable relationship with that Orochimaru."

Sasuke, who'd turned to look at the blond with narrowed eyes, suddenly began to sputter as he stood and threw a finger in her face.

"I'll have you know, I kept my door locked the whole damn time I was there! He never laid a hand on me and if he had he'd have died a lot sooner! And Kabuto wouldn't have stood for it anyway! He was overprotective and jealous as hell! Not to mention the body the old man was using could barely be considered livable much less capable of any act of fornication!"

"Fornication. That's a big word for you." Kakashi grabbed his former student by the shirt collar and pulled him back into his seat. "Sit. Watch the movie. Learn something to help your reputation; not hurt it."

"Watch the teeth!" Narutos voice carried from the kitchen.

"And there he goes, AGAIN!!" Sasuke screamed only to slump in a moody lump to watch the next movies opening credits.

"Try again, Shika... baby." Temari glared across the room.

Kankuro was edging away from his insane sister and toward the kitchen. He noted Sakuras eyes were now following him instead of Temari.

"Alright." Shikamaru swallowed and looked over the room again. "What about Choji? Since he seems to think you should be treated better, why not let him try."

Chojis eyes widened and he spun in his seat to look at his best friend. "I've got a girl. I don't need yours. I just think you need to take a little more care in how you treat her. She's nice."

Kankuro choked then abruptly turned it into a grunting, coughing, wheezing sound.

"Sorry. Allergies. All the trees."

Temari rolled her eyes then settled them once more on the shadow-nin.

"I obviously can't trust you with this. Much like I can't trust you with a lot of things. I'm sure you said no but I doubt you made the effort to fight much. You're such a lazy bastard." She blinked several times.

Shikamaru, feeling cowed and desperate gave several glances toward the front of the apartment before rolling his eyes to the couch. He was thinking how much he wished Shino were here, not realizing he was staring straight at Kiba.

"Fang-boy it is." Temari whispered and turned her eyes from Shikamaru to size up Kiba.

Shikamaru put every effort into looking appalled and hurt. Inwardly he was cheering. 'Five Minute Man' would never be able to satisfy her. She'd be back in his arms, and bed, inside of a week.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

_A street side bench, just after sunup. _

"So the wager is..." Kotetsu began.

"Odds are against Kakashi right now. Seems everyone thinks she won't go that route. Too much of a hassle." Izumo explained.

"So the high odds are on Konohamaru?" Kotetsu asked

"Looks like it." his companion replied.

Both men grinned at one another.

"Do we have any other contenders?" Izumo asked.

"Well, you're not going to believe this, but Genma put down Naruto Uzumaki!"

"You're kidding? What would he do that for?"

"I have no idea. Of course, he does seem to be right a lot."

Both men gave each other another long look then looked back to the bet book.

"Think we should let the Hokage in on this one?" Kotetsu asked.

"Hell no! The moment she finds out we have an underage Chuunin possibly being chased by a middle aged snake wielding Jounin we'll have a riot and a pile of rubble on our hands." Izumo warned. "Not to mention the fact that if she bets my way I'm bound to lose."

"Too true." Kotetsu closed the book and slipped it into his vest. "I, for one, am going the Kakashi route. If the rumors I've heard are true, it will be her only option."

"Rumors..." Izumo tossed his remaining breakfast in the bin and stood to follow his comrade. "What rumors?"

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

Kiba was a little stunned to find himself being pulled into the side room across from the bedroom. Why not the bedroom? Of course, Temari probably had no intention of doing anything. From the look on her face when she'd grabbed him and started for the door, he was pretty sure she was more hurt than angry. Great. He was back on damage control from his friends. Never a break for Kiba.

"Temari?" The door shut behind them and he was pushed into a long cushion on the floor next to a low table.

"Just shut up and take off your clothes." She growled.

Kiba blinked and reached for the hem of his shirt. "As much as I'd love to help you out in the vengeance department..." He paused as he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it in his lap. "I don't think you really want to go this route."

She rounded on him as she let the tie to her yukata fall to the floor.

"You're absolutely right. I don't want to go this route. I'd like to walk into that room and disembowel three female kunoichi, then rip a certain shadow shinobi limb from limb. Possibly have a good cry afterwards before handing what's left of the quivering heap over to my extremely overprotective brothers for complete annihilation."

Kiba swallowed but gamely kept to the subject at hand. If she was upset enough to let slip she wanted to cry then maybe he could talk his way out of this. The thought that he'd been trying all night to talk his way _into_ this entered his mind for a moment before slipping away with the rest of his wayward thoughts. He wasn't going to play with a comrades girl. That just wasn't right. And besides, he didn't want to be the center of attention when Gaara found out about this.

"That sounds like a good plan but a little... overkill don't you think?" He smiled wide.

She blinked at him then let her eyes roam over his chest. Nice definition. Thicker and broader than Shikamaru. Why hadn't one of the girls picked this one up?

"Somethings wrong with you isn't there." She stated blandly.

Kiba's jaw dropped before a belligerent look entered his eyes.

"Okay! FINE! My feet smell and I'm not that attentive a sex partner, but I'm trying here, damn it! I even got Naruto to give me some pointers and I'll get some fucking foot powder or something! Hell, I'll soak them in that peppermint crap Hana uses if I have to! Just someone... ANYONE, give me a break!"

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

Genma ushered Shino and his large pack into the apartment just as the screams from his private dinning room died down into fits of laughter. Both men looked at the door for a moment before shrugging and walking toward the living area. Dropping the pack inside the bedroom door.

"Hey, Naruto? You need any help in there?" Kankuro called from the kitchen entrance.

There was a low growl and a groan followed by a vehement "NO".

Genma narrowed his eyes toward the kitchen and stormed through the room, stepping over a smiling Shikamaru and a confused Ino.

"You'd better not be doing anything nasty on my kitchen counters, fox boy!"

"Nothing worse than what _you've _done on them I'm sure." Kakashi interjected as Genma bumped the back of his chair in his haste to reach the doorway.

Kankuro stepped back with a evil grin and raised eyebrows.

"They are not on the counters. At least, not at the moment."

Genma peered around the entrance and cursed rather inventively. Shino raised his brow and peeked around as well.

"I swear, I don't know how I'm going to explain this to your father." Genma spoke resigned.

"Oo ahnt av oo. Ah meoo." Naruto screamed and all the men backed out of the doorway.

"I see what you mean about talking with a full mouth." Shino said.

"I really didn't need to know that." Sasuke groused as she sunk a little lower in his chair. Kakashi patted him sympathetically on the back.

"And to think, the first time a fluffer tried to do that for you you ran from her." Kankuro chimed in, highly amused.

"Yes, I do. And I hope you thought about kids cause at the rate you two are going you'll have them before Hiashi even has a chance to decide whether to kill you or marry you off." He yelled as he gathered up Hinatas clothes. "Alright you two. Clothes on. You're done for the day... night... whatever. Naruto may not have anyone to answer two but I do." He tossed them into the kitchen. "I'll get something for you to wear." He called out to Naruto and headed for the bedroom.

"I'll help." Shino said lightly and followed after. Closing the door as he stepped into it.

"I'm never going to get those clothes." Naruto spoke as he stepped into the room in his boxers.

Hinata followed hoping as she pulled on the last leg of her pants.

"Doesn't look like it." Kankuro replied as he followed the line of Hinatas curves.

"Eyes off puppet boy." Naruto growled.

Kankuro raised both hands in placation.

"Can't blame a guy for looking, can you?"

"Yes, you can." Shikamaru groused from his seat on the floor propped against Nejis dangling leg. "At least your sister seems to think so."

At that moment a decidedly female moan came from the adjoining room. It was low at first but picked up in volume and pitch. Shikamaru frowned at the wall, picking at his newly donned clothes as Temaris voice carried through with more enthusiasm than it should have.

"Why is she moaning? There should be no moaning." The shadow shinobi complained.

"Well, generally people do moan when they are enjoying themselves." Sasuke cut in with only a little heat.

"But he's 'five-minute-man' which means she doesn't moan." Shikamaru continued.

"No one said she wouldn't enjoy the five minutes she got." Choji cut in as he pulled another bag of chips from his pockets.

Shikamaru turned narrowed eyes on him.

"You did. You said the girls called him that because he couldn't get them off."

"Yeah. But I never said they didn't enjoy what they got." Choji elaborated.

Meanwhile, Kankuros frown was turning toward a very bright grin as he listened to Temari wail in pleasure which caused the shadow brats face to go completely pale.

"Well, since me and Lee explained a few things to him, he should do a lot better. He just didn't understand about foreplay." Naruto explained as Lee nodded his head having gotten over Sakuras rejection now that another movie was on.

Kankuro choked and Hinata smacked him hard on the back a few times to help him out. Shikamaru looked stricken as Temaris moans died down only to pick up in volume and audibility.

"_Hot DAMN! Your hands are... oh yeah... right there... alittle harder... oh... Oh...OHOHOH!!"_

Shikamaru bounded from the floor and ran for the door.

"Temari? Temari! We should talk about this! This is no way to solve a problem! Temari?? TEMARI!!!"

Genma chose that moment to step, shirtless, from his bedroom. He pushed Shikamaru from the door and cracked it open to peek inside.

"Don't get anything on the table or the pillows. If you do, you pay for it." He shut the door and pushed Shikamaru back in front of it.

"Hey! Where are those clothes you promised me!" Naruto yelled after him.

Genma walked back into the bedroom. A moment later a pair of pants and a vest came flying through the door as it shut.

"Damn! That man has stamina!" Ino crowed.

Shikamaru dropped to the floor in front of the door and leaned against it looking pitiful. Temaris cries could be heard through the walls and each one made the shadow-nin wince.

Kankuro, however, was having the time of his life. He grinned from ear to ear at Shikamarus distress, completely missing the pink haired woman slow advancing in his direction. He was too busy trying to decide if he should tell them why Temari was making that much noise.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

"So what's going on?" Shino asked from the closet.

"Nara's near tears on the other door. Neji's out. They started another movie. I think that's seven. I'm waiting to see what they think of that one." Genma grinned.

Shino raised a brow at that but continued to hang up clothes.

"Kankuro's in there laughing it up, probably at Shikamaru, but he needs to watch it. Sakura has that look in her eye. Hinata's finally dressed. We'll see how long that lasts."

Shino nodded and took another coat to hang. Genma grabbed a few shirts and started putting them in the chest at the foot of the bed.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you." Shino looked up with raised brows as Genma dropped the last of the shirts in the chest and turned to sit on it.

"Did you and Kiba really go at it with Hinata on the fifth training ground?"

Shino's face slackened in apparent shock then turned several shades of red.

"How did you find out about that?" He asked, turning his back on the other man.

"Kurenai." Genma replied trying not to laugh.

The moan Shino uttered was one of abject humiliation.

"She knows about that?"

Genma gave in and laughed.

"It's not funny, you know. We were suppose to be training but Kiba started goofing off as usual and Hinata started playing along and before I knew it they had me in the tussle too. I'm not even sure how it got from playground fight to... well. It just kinda happened. But it was just the once." He refused to turn and look at the jounin behind him. It was more than a little embarrassing to have been caught.

"What does it matter? I'm just glad MY team wasn't the only one to try it." Genma replied.

Shino slowly turned to look at him. Though it was hard to see what he was thinking with the glasses on.

"Well, I guess it's not so bad then." Shino sighed and moved to sit next to him on the chest.

"Nah. I was just curious why you hadn't been with any other girls." Genma pondered.

"Oh. Well, I kinda spent most of the time grabbing Kibas ass instead of Hinatas. Luckily he thought I was just being nervous and clumsy so he didn't pay any attention. At least, that's what I thought. Now I'm not so sure he isn't simply dense about these things."

Genma laughed again and draped an arm over Shinos shoulder. Shino smiled a little reached for a hanger to finish hanging the cloths.

"So. What's Shikamaru upset about?"

Genma looked toward the door, a little confusion clouding his features,

"I'm not sure, really. I stuck my head in there to tell them to keep off the furniture and Kiba was giving Temari a foot rub."

Gemna shrugged and lifted a few pairs of pants to put in with the shirts.

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

**And so ends another exciting chapter. Hope you enjoy. Please review. If you've come this far you should have some opinion. **

**Also, I have a list of people for the last movie but if anyone wants a special cameo, let me know.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry it's been a while. Lots of stuff to do. Not to mention a second birthday to plan. Hope you enjoy and I'll try not to get so behind next time.**

**o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0**

"Naruto?" Hinata asked from her perch on the short futon. "What's a fluffer?"

Kankuro sprayed sake onto the back of Sasukes hair. Ino and Kakashi cleared their throats for totally different reasons. Choji opened his mouth to answer the question only to have TenTen shove one of Kibas socks in it.

"Yes, Naruto. What is a fluffer? It sounds most youthful." Lee said as he turned toward the blond with obvious curiosity.

Naruto fidgeted in his seat next to the purple haired kunoichi and tried to come up with a suitable explanation that wouldn't get him beaten into the cushions. He looked toward Kankuro for inspiration only to find Sakura taking that moment to close in on the unsuspecting puppeteer. At least he'd seemed unsuspecting until he neatly moved from the end of the long futon and out of her reach without making so much as a signal he'd known she was coming. Shikamaru whimpered from the floor as Temari giggled from the other side of the door. He'd given up screaming for her to come out. Now he simply appeared to be trying not to cry.

"Ah Hinata! You don't need to know all that!" Naruto hedged, scratching behind his head.

"But Naruto," Lee called and the man is question wondered why he hadn't given in all the times the Kyuubi had begged him to kill the taijutsu master. "You are so knowledgeable in the ways of pleasure. You have already shared many of your secrets with us. Won't you spread the vision of youth in full bloom to all of us!?"

Kankuro rolled his eyes and dropped to the floor next to Neji's dangling leg, fresh sake in his cup.

"A fluffer is a person paid to give blowjobs to the actors so they can keep it up for their scenes." The puppeteer explained.

Naruto groaned as Hinatas eye went wide then narrowed. Lee blinked several times before looking down in his lap then back up at EVERY girl in the room.

"Know where I can find one?" Sasuke asked as he used the remains of Narutos tattered clothing to dry his hair.

A mildly musty soak went flying over Sasukes head as Choji choked it up. The larger ninja glared at TenTen who simply shrugged, then went back to eating his chips in sullen silence.

"oooohhh man... I ache all over...," mumbled a sluggishly moving Neji on the long futon.

"You okay, Hyuuga?" Kankuro asked as he took a good look at the man he'd previously ignored. "Looks like you lost a fight with a mountain lion." He studied the pattern of bruises on Nejis chest more closely then blinked his eyes a little wider. "Or maybe it was another kind of kitty."

"Wha..?" Neji, having finally sat up looked down at his bare chest in confusion then groaned with the return memories. "Oh Hell! I'd almost forgotten it. Why'd you have to remind me?"

Kankuro shrugged and took a pull from his cup while Sasuke scrubbed vigorously at his hair.

"So does that make Sakura a fluffer?" Hinata asked out of no where.

A whimpering laugh came from the hall as Shikamaru peeked around the corner.

"How can you read the stuff you read and not know what a fluffer is?" The depressed ninja asked.

Hinata glared at the wall as he returned to his solemn post in front of the door.

"It never came up in my books." She snapped.

Steam was rolling from Sakuras ears as she slowly changed course from the sand shinobi toward the Hyuuga heir. Everyone scooted just a little back from the possible blast zone except Naruto, who valiantly tried to put himself between Hinata and the pink haired time bomb.

"What makes you say that?" Kankuro asked, a little worried at the extremely high color in Sakuras face.

"W-well," Hinata stammered. "I-i just th-thought, since s-she gave N-n-neji a me-medicinal blowjob that m-maybe..."

Choji and Ino glance at one another then stared at Hinata with narrowed eyes. Kankuro, however, was too busy smiling widely at a nearly maroon Neji Hyuuga.

"Medicinal Blowjob?" He asked with more than a little perverse pleasure.

"I told her I could do it myself." Neji mumbled as he once more buried his face in his raised and tucked knees.

"Wait, wait…" Kankuro shifted in his seat on the floor to look at the blushing man. "You told her you could do it yourself? You were turning down a blowjob to take care of it yourself?" He waited for Neji to lift his head. "Are you gay?"

"NO!!!" Neji's head shot up. "I just… I didn't want… WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE??" He shot up out of the futon only to groan and drop back down and then groan again as his backside hit the wooden frame edge.

"Neji!" TenTen moved in and grabbed Nejis arm, making him wince, and tried to help him right himself. "Are you alright? Do you need something? Would you like to rest? I'm sure we can get Genma to let us use the bedroom since you're injured."

Neji paled and sunk deeper into the cushions.

"I don't think he wants to go to the bedroom." Kankuro supplied then turned back to watch as Naruto Ino and Choji attempted to calm a murder minded Sakura.

"Sakuraaaaa… You can't kill her. Her dad will want to know why. Do you want to explain to her father and the rest of the village why? That's not going to help your reputation." Ino explained calmly as she used her mind control jutsu to hold the pink haired hurricane in place.

Choji stood between Naruto and the pinned Sakura. He glanced back at Hinata a moment before turning back to the other women.

"Don't let her get to you. I think she's just being a little catty over lover boy back here."

"What?" Ino asked letting go of her prisoner.

Sakura thought about barreling over Choji to get to the bitch but decided against it. If she was just posturing for Naruto then what the hell. And it wasn't like she wanted to explain what happened with Neji to Hiashi Hyuuga. She doubted he'd understand. Though Tsunade would probably get a big laugh out of it.

"What? You didn't notice she only stutters when it gets her what she wants or gets her out of trouble." Choji turned and grinned at a now glaring Hinata. "I don't blame her. It's actually rather clever."

"Effective too." Neji said from his cowering perch on the couch. "I'd have considered it myself if I'd realized what she was doing earlier."

Hinata smiled from behind Narutos shoulder. "Thank you, Neji."

Ino rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for the cute, sweet, huggy moment but let's get back to... Naruto? Why are you laughing?"

The blond shinobi was starting to tear up as he attempted to hold in what promised to be a gale storm of laughter. Everyone looked around confused until the sound from the movie stopped and Kakashis snickering took its place.

"What so…. (snicker) Oh my…" TenTen blinked several more times before throwing a hand over her mouth.

There was a moment of light snickering then the entire room erupted in laughter. Kakashi actually fell out of his chair and rolled from side to side. Naruto was beyond words as he dropped backwards into a now blue faced Hinata trying to catch her breath. Ino was attempting to talk while Sakura simply gave in to the belly laugh she'd been holding in for the sake of her friend.

"I never… get tired of… that!" Naruto gasped between giggles.

"What the hell man?" Choji snorted with a smile.

Sasuke threw his hands over his head and glared at a smug Kankuro as the puppeteer dangled the remnant cloth in front of him.

"Bastard!" Sasuke yelped.

"I wish." Kankuro replied with a smile. "So this is why everyone is really so scared of you."

Sasukes hair, now free of Sake and styling products, stood out in a spiraling mess. What had once been smooth spikes as now a mass of kinky rolling curls. The effect turned the infamous Sasuke Uchiha into an adorable Gerber baby.

"It explains why Orochimaru was so interested." Genma added in a deep chuckle from the doorway while Shino stood next to him, his back turned and shoulders shaking violently.

"Oh that's just…." Ino couldn't finish.

"Shut the hell up! All of you! It's not like YOU don't have hair issues!" Sasuke sputtered violently.

"I cut my hair with a kunai and it still doesn't look that bad." Sakura interjected before choking once then bursting into laughter once more.

Naruto joined her as the two wallowed in their comrades' new found weakness.

"What the hell do you use that gets that nasty mess so straight?" Kankuro asked as he tossed the torn cloth over the Uchihas face.

"Whatever it is maybe Aburame could use it." Temari offered as she stepped over Shikamarus now sprawled form and walked into the room. Kiba looked down and offered the shadow shinobi a hand only to get a glare and a brush off as Shikamaru rolled to his feet and walked after Temari.

"Mari, I…" Shikamaru called as he followed behind her.

The room slowly began to quiet as everyone watched Temari walked over to Sakura and grabbed the back of her pink hair.

"Uh… Temari? As much as I understand where this is coming from I really don't think it's wise to murder the Hokages student." Her brother offered, cajoling.

Temari pulled Sakura up close to her face, sneering down as she stared into her so green eyes.

"Are we done?" The wind kunoichi asked in a deceptively mild tone.

Sakura stared her down but nodded once in the affirmative.

"Good." Temari dropped the other woman and turned to her wayward boyfriend. "Outside. Now." She headed for the door.

Shikamaru gave a defeated and dejected sigh and, head hung, followed her toward the hall. The bang of the door slamming was loud in the silent room. Every stayed completely still, listening for screaming or the signs of a fight. When nothing came Naruto looked toward Sasuke who had wrapped the rag around his hair.

"I haven't seen your hair like that since Kiba and I sneaked into your house and replaced all your tea with dried ivy leaves."

Kiba, who had been staring back at the retreating couple, now looked to Sasuke. Curls were exploding out from under the makeshift cover and Kiba snorted several times before regaining control.

"Oh Yeah! You were laying on the futon in the front room and your hair was EVERYWHERE!!"

Sasuke gave his best death glare and kicked Kakashi several times as the copy-nin tried to regain his seat.

"Don't take this out on me. I for one was happy to never know of your follicle woes." Kakashi said with as much composure as he could muster in the face of so much usable material.

"You really shouldn't worry about it, Sasuke. At least it has body. Roll it into a few sausage curls and all the men will fall at your feet." Choji declared as he munched on chips and drank his drink.

"What the… I'm not GAY!" Sasuke sputtered.

"Could have fooled me." Sakura mumbled under her breath as she slowly eased her way once more to the middle sand sibling.

Ino grabbed her teammates drink and sniffed. "You've been spiking your drinks again haven't you? I thought you were a little loose lipped today."

There was a knock at the door. Naruto jumped over the futon to hide behind it. Neji jumped up to answer while everyone had forgotten he was there. Genma and Shino moved to the side to let him pass.

"Well, I don't know about you but I think I'll continue with the movie. It was starting to get interesting." Kakashi carried on as he lifted the remote and hit play.

Everyone shrugged and settled into a seat. Kankuro moved to take Nejis spot and Sakura sidestepped Ino for the spot next to the puppeteer. Ino huffed and dropped down next to Choji taking sips of his spiked drink as he put it on the low table. Genma pulled Shino across the room and they both dropped onto the sleep mat, cuddling comfortably.

"I don't remember a lot about this one." Naruto said as he slid into place next to Hinata once more. "Do you Kankuro?"

The puppeteer looked up from his leg, where Sakura's head was now resting, and looked at the screen.

"No. Actually I don't. I remember 8 and 9. They were packed but this one…," he looked at the screen again and frowned.

"Temari in any of these?" Kiba asked from a spot at the wall, leaned against Akamaru.

"Hell No! And don't mention them either. She'd go on a killing spree if she knew I did this." Kankuro bellowed.

"What about Gaara?" Hinata asked no longer playing innocent. Naruto scowled at the question.

"The director was afraid it would turn into a snuff film." Kankuro answered conversationally.

"But I thought they took the demon out years ago?" Ino questioned.

Kankuro turned a bored face to her.

"Shukaku might have caused him to crack but that personality is all him. It's true what they say about redheads. He can go toe to toe with Temari in an argument. No one wanted to sleep with him on set." He shrugged and poked at Sakuras head to try and nudge it off his leg. "He wasn't too keen on the idea anyway. He only did it on a bet. Won, too."

"What did he win?" Kakashi asked eyeing the screen then sucked in a breath.

Everyones attention turned to the man walking out of a shack in the middle of a rain storm. A long lock of yellow hair fell over one eye and his long arms sported numerous scars. He was dressed only in loose pants and water ran in rivulets down his thin yet muscled chest.

"What the…." Kankuro stared, horrified at the image on the screen.

"Is that…" Sasuke asked as he leaned in closer.

"Deidara?" Naruto screamed as Neji walked back into the room.

"Guys? We have company." He said.

But no one looked up to see Shizune standing behind him.


	21. Chapter 21

**And again, here we are. Don't own it. Enjoy.**

Naruto sat up straight and pointed at the screen. "What's that freaky blond rat doing in this movie??"

Everyone was in varying stages of shock at the sight of the former Akatsuki member nearly bare on screen. His long blond hair waving in the breeze as he lowered one mouthed hand and ran it over the woman now tied at his feet.

"Where the hell did you guys get this movie?" Shizune asked as she stared in horror. "Tsunade's going to kill you!"

The stunned silence only continued.

_The blond rolled his mouthed hand over the young supple skin of the quivering red head beneath him. "I won't hurt you, sweet. I only want to taste you." He said and lifted her from the rain soaked earth to move into the small shanty behind them. The door closed at his back and he lowered her to the makeshift straw pallet in front of an open fire. He began to slowly peel the wet clothes from her body as she whimpered._

"I'd be crying too if that guy touched me." Ino shuddered at the image.

"I can't believe Jiraiya did this?" Naruto whispered.

Everyone nodded.

"I thought he was dead?" Sasuke pouted.

"You know how these guys are. You can kill them but they just keep turning up everywhere." Choji offered.

"But I killed him four years ago." Sasuke continued to pout.

"Actually, he blew himself up four years ago." Shino corrected.

"Same thing." The Uchiha grouched. "It still doesn't explain why he's there."

"Like I said. They're like roaches. They just won't stay dead." Choji explained again.

"I swear, if that walking sushi bar shows up in this movie I'm going to be royally pissed." Neji said with a slight frown.

Shizune looked over her shoulder at the Hyuuga then looked back at the large group, noting Kakashis presence. "Again I ask, what are you doing with this movie? It's been band."

"We found it." Ino said in a strangled voice. "I'm getting visuals of what he does behind closed doors with those hands and it's not pretty."

The entire room shuddered.

"Can we fast forward or something. I think I'm going to puke." Naruto whispered, his face deathly pale.

"I'm in complete agreement." Kankuro said only a little less pale than his blond counterpart.

Kakashi lifted the remote and pressed the button. The movie went into high speed and soon Deidaras

scene was ended. There was a loud sigh from all but Shizune who was still fuming.

"If Tsunade finds out about this movie..." She started.

"She won't." Hinata cut in with a small smile.

"Like HELL she won't!" The Hokages assistant bellowed.

"Who's going to tell her?" Genma asked from the floor.

Shizune whipped around, mouth open to yell, only to stop short and groan.

"Genma, if you don't stop corrupting the youth of the village..."

"Hey! I just live here. I came home and the movie was already running. In fact, I think they were on three. So I've not corrupted any of them. Talk to the person that gave them the video." Genma cut in irritably.

Ino threw her hand over Choji's mouth before his drunken lips uttered exactly where the movies had come from.

"And what about him?" Shizune huffed as she pointed to Shino tucked between Genmas arms.

"He was already this way. Ask Anko." Genma grinned and Shino groaned.

"Fine, fine. But that still doesn't explain why...," Shizune stopped mid sentence as her eyes landed on a certain shinobi. "What's wrong with Lee?"

Heads turned toward the great green shinobi who's eyes were casting around the room now that his name had been called.

"He looks...harassed." TenTen said moving closer to her teammate.

Shizune fumed. "GENMA?!"

"It wasn't me! I've been with him the whole time." He pointed to the beet red bug nin cowering against his chest.

TenTen bent over Lee and touched his shoulder. "Lee, are you..."

"Fluffer?" Lees eyes were wide and shiny. His smile a little forced but no less bright. A muscle in his jaw twitched ever so slightly.

"I think he's gone into overload." Kiba stated from his perch against Akamaru. "Probably the shock of all the sex."

"I doubt that. Probably the shock of that nasty movie." Shizune replied as she moved toward Kakashi and the remote.

"Now, Shizune. I for one am applauding this movie. The director is a genius of the romantic arts." Kakashi chimed with sparkling star dust dancing around his face.

Everyone rolled their eyes. All except Naruto and Kankuro, who were now suddenly grinning. Shizune eyed them cautiously as she straightened.

"Well, it doesn't matter because I'm taking that movie and any others you have. When the Hokage finds out that thing is circulating again she's going to..."

"She's not going to find out." Hinata spoke again. Her voice just as clear and certain as the first time.

Shizune turned a cool eye on the Hyuuga girl noting her position behind one Uzumaki Naruto. The mussed hair, dark circular bruises and rumpled clothing was all she needed to know what had been going on between the two of them. She smiled chillingly and took a step toward the couple.

"Oh I think she will. And I think your father will have a great deal to say about your activities this evening. I doubt he'll be pleased when Lady Tsunade informs him of what's been going on here." The assistant explained.

Neji stiffened against the wall behind Shizune. Kankuro was still grinning and still trying to fend off Sakura now that she'd leaned in and trapped his bent left leg against the back of the futon leaving his thighs spread wide open. Ino lowered her hand from Chojis mouth only to stuff a chip in it. Kiba watched with mild interest as Genma shook his head and Shino looked mortified. TenTen tried to rouse a confused and befuddled Lee. But Hinata simply smiled while Naruto grinned.

"And what's she going to think when she finds out why you've been seen sneaking into the Hyuuga compound, leaving TonTon tied at the gate?" The purple haired kunoichi asked cheerfully.

Shizunes smile faltered. Neji looked ill. Everyone else looked very very interested.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The young medic declared in a haughty voice.

The music from the movie swelled and Shizune cast an anxious glance toward the screen before settling it back on Hinata's smiling face.

"I always wondered what TonTon was doing out so late? Thought one of the servants was feeding her?" Genma said thoughtfully.

The Hokages assistant stilled a little more. A sweeping refrain rolled from the speakers into the room.

"By the way," Hinata smiled wickedly. "Hanabi says if she scarred for life. She'll remember you bouncing on top of dad's naked ass for the rest of her life."

_thud..._

All eyes turned to Kiba who was still sitting with Akamaru.

"What?" He asked, confused.

Everyone looked around toward the hall. Neji lay sprawled on his back, eyes rolled into his head, completely unconscious.

"Damn. It's contagious." Ino muttered.

"Probably the thought of Lord Hiashis naked ass that set him off." Choji munched.

"Why Hiashi?" Sasuke asked, thinking the snotty Hyuuga must be gay and not so angry about the blowjob now.

"Cause he was a virgin before last night." Choji munched some more.

Sasuke stared at the large shinobi for a long moment before turning his open-mouthed, stricken face back to the screen. And a moment later, he screamed like a little girl.

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Temari sat on one side of the bench while Shikamaru sat on the other. They hadn't spoken since they'd walked to a more private street, Temari having refused to go back to his apartment. Now they sat facing a small house on a rural street neither really knowing exactly how to start.

"I'm sorry." Shikamaru mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Temari turned to look at the shadow shinobi with a frown.

"I said, I'm sorry." He spoke more clearly though just as quietly.

"You can say it all you want." She turned back toward the road. "It doesn't change the fact that you were screwing around behind my back."

Shikamaru growled his frustration and turned fully to his estranged girlfriend.

"And what the hell do you think you were doing? You act like no one could hear you in that room!"

"Exactly." She replied primly. "I was open and honest with it. I didn't do anything behind your back. And that wasn't screwing around. THAT was revenge."

She stood suddenly and began walking down the silent road. Shikamaru stood and jogged to catch up with her.

"Oh yeah! Well, I was coerced and shanghaied! They had me pinned! You walked in, picked Kiba up, and started undressing before the door was closed!!" He screamed over her shoulder as she picked up speed and he tried to keep up.

"No. As I recall, I asked you who would you choose and you told me the guy with the lousiest reputation in the Land of Fire and Wind put together." She continued her long strides and steady pace as they passed several small neat houses.

"I wasn't going to let you have someone who..." He stopped in the middle of the street and stared at her back a moment before hanging his head. "Was he that good?" He muttered low and distressed.

"What?" She came to a halt a few feet away and turned to look at him.

Shikamaru refused to look up. "There was a lot of banging and you kept screaming... You never scream like that for me."

Temari smiled and shook her head as she started back toward him.

"I'll do better, Mari. Don't leave."

If she'd had any doubt the idiot loved her they were gone now. The laziest shinobi in the village had lost his temper, yelled, jogged three blocks and bowed his head in shame only to take on a promise of better performance. No one could ask for a greater declaration of love from Nara Shikamaru.

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"Gaara told me about this part!" Kankuro said with equal parts malice and glee.

"What the hell!" Naruto stood straight up on the futon.

Kiba was on his feet gaping at the screen.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Shino exclaimed as he jerked upright and batted away Genmas arms.

"I can't say that I'm surprised, really." Kakashi drolled. "Well, not as surprised as I was by the first scene."

Sasuke stood in front of his chair, hands braced on the sides of the video screen. His face a picture of emotional and mental torture as the music began to swell over the speakers. His spiral curls hung low over his neck and cheeks as he muttered.

"I can't believe this! It's just not possible."

Sakura , TenTen, Ino, and Hinata stared with identical expressions as the movie rolled into a steaming nude scene.

"Oh... Oh tell me this is really and not a body double." Ino moaned.

"He can kill me any time. Run me through. I"ll die a happy woman." TenTen whispered.

"Guess the Hyuuga men aren't the only hot ticket around here." Sakura added wistfully.

"Oh My!" Hinata squeaked with feeling.

"He always got all the attention." Sasuke whispered hoarsely. "Everybody loves Itachi. He's the perfect ninja, the perfect son. He got the hair and the masculine looks. Stronger, smarter, cockier, cooler. And now..."

"And now he has a porn movie with Shizune... you really get around don't you?" Genma asked with raised brows.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Shizune shuddered.

"Not on my carpet you aren't." Genma glared menacingly.

"Is this karma?" Sasuke asked in an every higher voice.

"If it is," Kakashi started with as he wrapped his arm around his former student, "then I think your hell is just beginning."

"Just my luck I get the wrong Uchiha." Sakura muttered then slipped a hand down Kankuro's inner thigh.

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**I know it's been a while. Hope this wets your appetite. Reviews would be wonderful.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Don't own Naruto.**

I can honestly say I never thought I'd see my young progeny this upset. After all, he'd spent his entire life in the shadows of his brother. But admittedly this was a little much for anyone with bipolar issues to adjust to. And though I'm sure he deserved a great deal of it; it seemed rather harsh to...

_(begin obligatory flashback... well, since the whole thing is a flashback... ... ... never mind.)_

Sasuke sat, a ball of quivering pale skin and bouncy hair, on the floor in front of Kakashi who silently patted his shoulders while watching screen. TenTen now held the remote and had, for the fourth time, replayed the scene of Itachi in all his naked glory for all the women gathered around the room. All except Shizune who'd gone to the bathroom to, no doubt, throw up.

"All the gods be praised, that man has got the finest ass I have ever seen." The weapons expert groaned as she replayed the scene once again.

"TenTen, if you don't stop rewinding I'm taking the remote away. I'm missing the line of the story thanks to you." Kakashi grumbled. "I'm sure if he's getting this much air time he'll be somewhere else in the movie.

"He is." Kankuro said as he tried to slide from the futon, using chakra strings to manipulate the cushions.

"How do you know?" Ino, who'd been trying to get an answer out of Genma, asked sharply.

"Gaara told me." He replied as he finally managed to slide his leg just a little farther from behind Sakuras back. She was watching the screen with great interest but she wasn't giving up his leg.

Kiba look sceptically at the puppeteer. "I thought you said your brother hadn't done these movies?"

"I said he didn't do them. I never said he didn't watch them."

Sakura chose that moment to slide her hand up his inner thigh and brush against his semi-hard on. Kankuro groaned then yelped and tried to back away. She shifted her hand until it gripped him lower and he went very very still.

"Going somewhere?" She asked without looking at him.

"Not with your hand on my balls. No." He whispered. "No offense. You're nice looking and all, but you kinda scare me and that's just not good for the sex."

Now she did look at him. Her bright green eyes landed on him then slowly shifted down to her hand.

"What about me scares you?" She asked as he asked lifted to his face.

"Well," _Your very strong hand on my very delicate balls!_ His inner thoughts screamed. Outwardly his drew in a deep breath and tried not to move too much. "Well, you have that super human strength thing going for you and though I'm sure that's a plus in the ninja profession it doesn't inspire confidence in men."

Her look turned thoughtful as she considered what he'd just said. After a moment she removed her hand and leaned into him just a little. With his legs spread she was practically on top of him but he didn't feel the need to point it out.

"So, what you're telling me is that men don't like taking a girl to bed they know can whip their ass?" She asked.

"Yeah. That and..." He hesitated. Not knowing how she'd react to the next answer but she wasn't holding his balls so maybe he'd have time to move. "I've heard things about you."

He didn't whimper when her eyes narrowed but he didn't cringe when her nails dug into his thighs.

"What kinds of things?" She asked with deceptive sweetness.

"Well, I..." He started only to be saved by a hand on Sakuras shoulder.

Naruto, seeing his drunken friend in a very uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation had come to check on things when he'd heard Sakuras question. He sighed, knowing he was going to get his ass kicked but unable to ditch a fellow ninja in need.

"Uh, Sakura? That's kinda my fault." Those green eyes slowly turned on him and he swallowed.

"Is that right? And how exactly is it your fault?"

With no other option open to him and knowing it wouldn't matter anyway, he told the truth.

"I exaggerated about you some cause I was pissed you'd turned me down. So, when he asked about you, I told him you were a closet dominatrix and had a habit of using whips and restraints on unsuspecting men." He smiled and scratched the back of his head as he put a little distance between them.

She stared at him for a full minute. In fact, quite a few people were staring at him. Sasuke had momentarily forgotten about his brothers movie debut and was gaping at his friend in horror. Kiba sat up a little straighter and even Shino came out of hiding.

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" Genma intoned, wide eyed.

"I was really pissed." Naruto mumbled, blushing.

"Does she really do that?" Sasuke asked almost whining. "She didn't do that to me?"

"Sasuke, you're brothers doing Anko." Ino pointed toward the screen.

Before he'd considered her words he'd already looked to the screen. His entire face fell and his eyes widened before he screamed again and buried his head in Kakashis lap.

"Come on. Be a man." Kakashi mumbled as he continued to follow the plot line of the story.

As the moment passed and everyone went back to their own business, Kankuro became aware that he was being watched. He looked back in the direction of the pink seductress between his thighs and squeaked.

"You were asking about me?" She asked curiously.

He nodded slowly and Naruto leaned over them to speak.

"Several times actually. I'm sure I had to say something good about you at least once." The blond continued until Sakura wrapped a free hand around his throat.

"Go sit with Hinata and shut up and I'll forget you said anything at all." She never took her eyes off Kankuro as she released Naruto and gave him a push that sent him flying.

"Hey! No throwing people in my place! You'll break something!" Genma yelled as he and Shino talked quietly, most likely about how pathetic Sasuke looked drooling like an infant on the floor.

Sakura ignored him and leaned farther into Kankuros chest. He blinked wide eyes at her but didn't have anywhere else to go. So he reached out, grabbed his Sake cup and downed the last of it in one gulp. It burned all the way down and he winced then choked. Sakura lay a gentle hand on his chest. Green light glowed low for a moment and the coughing and burning subsided. Kankuro simply blinked again.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

He nodded. The room was tilting a little but he was, in fact, feeling much better.

"Not scared?" She asked again.

He shook his head and the room moved with it. It was a little strange but he could work with that.

"Want to know more about me now?" She cooed.

He smiled and nodded again. Her eyes were such a pretty green. And her forehead wasn't all that big.

"Want to go someplace more quiet?" She whispered as she moved in to rub noses with him.

He giggled at the light touch and blinked a few times to focus but nodded all the same. "Okay."

She smiled. And it was such a pretty smile to him that he smiled back even bigger. He thought about telling her he couldn't walk but it seemed she'd already planned for it. She pulled him up to a sitting position and wrapped one arm under his, throwing his arm over her shoulder. She then lifted them both effortlessly and started for the hall.

"I'm taking this one to the bed. I think he's had too much to drink." Sakura told the room at large.

"Change the sheets when you're done." Genma called.

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Izumo and Kotetsu sat across the bar watching Anko talk animatedly with a hassled looking Ibiki.

"Why doesn't he just kill her and get it over with?" Izumo asked as he lifted his drink.

"Too much paperwork and besides I think he might be afraid of her." Kotetsu offered, taking a drink of his own.

"You'd think a man who tortures the masses as a profession could fend off one kunoichi half his size."

Anko said something at that moment that had Ibiki turning several shades of red and moving one barstool down. Both observing chuunin blinked rapidly before looking at one another in shock.

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming." Kotetsu stood and stretched then lifted his drink. "Guess it's time to go save the poor guy."

"Why does it have to be us?" Izumo moaned.

Kotetsu grinned and winked. "Because we have a job to do and a bet to get rolling."

Izumo nodded with an almost smile and stood as well, leaving his drink behind. The two moved to the opposite side of the bar where Anko had moved up into Ibikis personal space once more.

"... and I told him it wasn't any of his business where I'd picked it up but he wasn't going to get it so what was his problem." She carried on.

"Oi!"

Ibiki looked up at the interruption and seeing the Hokages two assistance decided to make a tactical retreat.

"Hello, boys." He nodded then looked down seeing a folder in Kotetsus hand. "Are those you're reports for the Hokage?" He grabbed it before the man could answer, tossed money on the counter and took off for the door. "I'm going that way. I'll take them to her."

Kotetsu gaped. "Wait!! Those aren't my reports!" And he too took off out the door.

"What was all that about?" Anko asked puzzled as she grabbed the rest of Ibikis drink and finished it.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that." Izumo smiled. "Tell me. Have you heard about Genmas latest conquest?"

Ankos eyes sharpened and she moved closer to the smiling man. "Oh, do tell."

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Tsunade looked out the window of Hokage Tower and frowned.

"Shizune? Why is Kotetsu chasing Ibiki down the street? Shizune?"

She looked back to see that her assistant was no where in site.

"SHIZUNE!!" She yelled but got no answer.

She frowned back at the two men now only steps away from the tower entrance.

"First Shikamarus running, without being chased, down the streets screaming nonsense at the top of his lungs, now this. What the hell has gotten into everyone?"

She shook her head and turned to sit back behind her desk and the huge mounds of paperwork. She slid a stack to the side and pulled a bottle from between two adjacent stacks, smiling as she poured its contents into a small cup.

"Well, as long as Shizunes on break..."

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**I know it's not long but it should be just as enjoyable. Size isn't everything you know.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Here we are again. And the Party begins. Don't own Naruto.**

Ibiki stepped from the closet as Kotetsu rounded the end corner of the hall. _Not for the Hokage?_ He opened the folder and stared at the contents. A few moments later he closed the file and smiled.

"Oh, I think this is something the Hokage _definitely_ needs to see."

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"Sasuke? Sasuke, it's just a movie. None of it's real. I'm sure he did this for the extra cash since he's got no backing now. That's probably a body double or..." Kiba stroked the incoherent Uchihas head as he lay on the floor in the fetal position, drooling.

"Just leave him, Kiba. He's too far gone for anything you say to matter." Ino flicked a speck of lint from her top. "Besides, this is starting to get good."

On screen, Itachi was sitting before a clean, smooth table with a tea cup in hand. He lifted the cup, sniffed the contents then put the cup to his lips. The man across from him eyed the elder Uchiha with burning anger kept ruthlessly in check. Itachi, for his part, looked back at the man with mild disdain.

"Wonder when the women come in?" Neji asked despite the fact he professed not to watch.

"Wonder how many there will be?" Choji pondered.

"Fluffer?" Lee murmured.

"No. There's going to be a fight!" Kakashi bounced excitedly in his chair. "You can feel it in the air around them. Two rivals for the same prize, ready to fight to the death for the honor of simply touching that long awaited dream."

Genma raised a brow and shook his head. "You scare me Hatake."

"_Wwwwhat are you doing with THAT?" _Kankuros voice could be heard clearly through the walls of the bedroom.

Naruto looked up and frowned in concern. Hinata patted his back and rubbed little circles on his neck with her fingers.

"_But I don't want anything in there!" _The puppeteer called again.

Naruto tensed up and Hinata deepened her massage. Genma looked to the room with narrowed eyes and Shino frowned at Genma.

"Sakura! You leave that box alone!" The older shinobi yelled.

There was a moment of silence as a fight sequence started on screen and all others became wrapped up in the beautiful choreography.

"_What box?"_ Sakura called from the room.

Another moment of silence.

"Never mind!" Genma yelled and went back to watching the movie.

Shino eyed Genma for a moment before turning in his arms and rest back against the mans chest, attempting to relax and maybe get some sleep.

The two men on screen moved gracefully around one another in what looked more like a dance than a fight. Their blades sang with each strike until Itachi was forced back and his sword knocked from his hand.

"Hey, Sasuke! Cheer up! I think they might be getting ready to kill your brother!" Kiba shook the curly headed man until he looked up pitifully.

As the sword was lowered to his brothers neck, a smile began to split Sasukes face. He pulled himself to a sitting position and watched with growing glee as the other man pulled the weapon down the front of Itachis robes, tearing a fine line in the fabric until it fell from his shoulders when pushed aside.

"Oh! He's going to humiliate him before he kills him! This is good! This is very good!" Sasuke cheered with growing color.

The blade was lifted up to Itachis chin and the red eyed man slowly rose as the tip of the blade pulled him to his feet.

"Is he going to gut him? I hope he guts him." Sasuke chattered wide eyed.

Ino looked a little wary. Kakashi, Choji, and Kiba looked confused. Neji looked nervous, but Shino looked intrigued.

The blade slid down his midsection making the Uchiha shiver then to the waistline of his pants. Slowly, the other man slit the pants over Itachis slightly swollen groin and the pants began to fall away.

"Guys..." TenTen moved a little closer to Sasuke. "Maybe we should take a break. Take Sasuke and Lee for a walk."

"Why?" Kiba asked as he watched the blade slide the pants from Itachis legs then raise level to the mans midsection once again.

"They could use some air." She said a little frantically.

"I think she's right." Shino said abruptly and started standing. Genma following his lead.

"Why's that guy getting down on his knees?" Sasuke asked with a much smaller voice than was comfortable.

"Um... Sasuke?" Kiba grabbed the young Uchiha by the shoulders and started trying to turn him.

But Sasukes eyes were now glued to the site of his brother leaning back against a high wall, completely nude with a man on his knees, head bobbing rhythmically. The curly haired young man whimpered a little then put a hand to his mouth as his brothers face contorted and he crumpled to the ground in front of his seducer.

"Oh my... that really is hot." Hinata blinked rapidly at the screen while Naruto attempted to rub his own eyes out.

"GAH!!! NO MORE!!" The blond screeched.

Neji cowered in a corner where he'd backed up and was now whimpering, "Please stop now... Please stop now..."

But it didn't and everyone gasped in horror, trauma and some appreciation as the two men fell to the ground. The screams and begging were tremendous and everyone spared a troubled glance in Sasukes direction as the young man began to cry.

"Sasuke? Why don't we go somewhere and sit for a while. I'm sure if you just clear your head a little..." Kiba offered with as much comfort as he could muster, considering his own sensibilities had just taken a serious beating.

"After all, you have gay friends and..." Ino offered with more compassion than she'd used in days.

Sasuke wiped his eyes vigorously and his voice cracked. "HE'S A BOTTOM!!! MY COOL, SADISTIC, MASS MURDERING OLDER BROTHER LIKES IT UP THE ASS!!!" And a wave of fresh tears poured from between his fingers as he ran from the room and slammed one of the hall doors behind him.

"He didn't handle that well at all." Kakashi said and backed up the movie so he could catch the dialog he'd missed while everyone was talking.

"I think I was just insulted." Shino groused, but Genma tossed an arm over his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"You can be on top next time if you want?" The senbon user offered.

Shino stared at him for a moment longer then raised a brow and lowered his shades.

"I don't think so."

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Shizune rubbed her aching head and flushed the toilet. She pulled a hand towel down and wiped her mouth before pulling herself up and looking at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like hell warmed over several times on high heat. Groaning she ran through ever possible excuse she could come up with to give Tsunade when she found out about the video. No doubt the fact she was in it would have been fine. It was her choice of partners that would most likely be suspect. And then to explain her late night visits to the Hyuuga compound...

"I am so screwed."

She splashed water on her face and wiped it down, checking once more that she looked presentable enough to go out. The loud shrieking cry coming from the other room caught her attention. Then...

"_HE'S A BOTTOM!!! MY COOL, SADISTIC, MASS MURDERING OLDER BROTHER LIKES IT UP THE ASS!!!"_

She sighed guessing that Sasuke had seen the scene between one of the snow ninja and his brother. Poor kid.

"_Um... Sakura? How far in does this have to go?" _An extremely drunken Kankuro could be heard from the other room.

Shizunes eyes widened then she groaned and dropped to the bathroom floor.

"Looks like I'm going to be here for a while."

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

Kotetsu was out of breath by the time he caught up with Izumo at the front gate station.

"Find Ibiki?" Izumo chuckled only to receive an owl eyed look from his long time friend and teammate. "You okay, man?"

Kotetsu shook his head repeatedly as he tried to regain a little of his wind. He was shaky and his continued nervous glances toward the Hokage tower were giving Izumo a bad feeling.

"What was in that folder?" He asked not really wanting to know the answer.

Kotetsus face fell and his already bad parlor turned a sickly shade of pale green.

"The...(huff huff) roster of names...(huff huff) in the betting pool and the... (huff) particulars of the bet."

Izumo paled. "He took the whole damn book?! I thought you'd started leaving it at home since the damn thing was so big!"

"I did... but since we were going to see Anko I thought..."

Both men stilled as a scream rent the air followed by a lot of crashing and some earthquake causing upheaval.

"Wanna place a bet on how long we'll last?" Kotetsu ventured.

"We wouldn't live long enough to enjoy it." Izumo replied.

"Run?"

"Run."

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

"What was that?" Kankuro said as he lifted the small cylinder and tried to fit the other pieces to it.

"Sounded like Tsunade throwing a tantrum. Glad it wasn't at me." Sakura replied as she lifted another jelly ring from the box and laid it on the bed.

"Are you sure these go together?" He asked.

Kankuro lay on the bed in nothing but his pants and make-up. His hair stuck out in a sweaty mess that was only made worse by Sakura having run her fingers through it to feel the texture.

"Yeah. They probably all fit the same one. Doesn't look like he uses them much though." Sakura replied as she inserted one of the jelly rings onto the bullet Kankuro was holding. "I can't believe you've never seen these before? You did porn!"

"Yah, but those are the only ones I've done and..." He lifted the bullet up with its new attachment and frowned. "What would I want to do with this anyway?"

Sakura smiled and picked up the small remote. She pressed her thumb to the first button and the little bullet started to vibrate. Kakuros eyes widened.

"Whoa!" He dangled the toy by the long cord attaching it to the remote.

Sakura hit the second button and the little thing buzzed louder. Kankuro looked at her with now raised brows.

"How fast does this thing go?" He asked a little off balance. His fingers were already tingly, that thing had only made them more so.

"This says it goes up to four but I found one in here that goes up to six. And then there are the dildos and some of them rotate."

Kankuro swung the bullet like a pendulum and watched the jelly ring giggle.

"What do you do with it?"

Sakura smiled. "Well, on a girl you'd simply put it where you'd put this." She reached out and grabbed his cock, squeezing gently until he moaned. "But on a guy...?"

Kankuros vision had blurred and he was having trouble concentrating on what she said with the way the room kept moving around. "What?"

The pink haired woman smiled a little too brightly and pulled the bullet from his loose grip. She climbed into the bed and rummaged through the box until she came up with something thin and white.

"I knew he'd have an extra stash in here."

"Extra stash of what?" The puppeteer asked right before he was pushed forward onto his stomach.

"Lets play a little game, shall we?" Sakura asked sweetly in his ear.

He smiled. He liked it when she asked things sweetly.

"Okay." He replied and lay his head on his hands as she ran the little vibrating toy down his back.

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**Well, that's it for today. Reviews please! I'm feeling neglected.**


	24. Chapter 24

**I'm ba-ack! And so is the next chapter. I don't own Naruto… blah blah blah.**

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Kiba rubbed Sasukes quivering back as the man hiccupped and sniffed loudly.

"It's not as if you liked him anyway. I mean, you've been trying to kill him for years." Kiba softly soothed.

The Uchiha whimpered then buried his face more deeply in his hands.

"What does it matter if he's gay or bi or whatever?" Kiba whined. "He's only doing it for the money cause he's shit out of luck without his Akatsuki buddies."

Sasuke sniffed again but this time Kiba was sure he saw a small nod as the curls shifted on the pillows by the table. Funny, he'd just been in this room not long before with Temari, giving her the most erotic foot massage he'd ever given any woman. He'd have to thank Naruto and Lee for that. When he was done baby sitting Sasuke that is.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Kiba bent down and lifted a lock of Sasukes hair. "Why don't we do something about this corkscrew mess you have on your head. I'll just get the gel from Genmas bathroom and…"

Sasukes head came up. Swollen eyes no longer looking pitiful or angry but horrified.

"No way are you putting that horse shit he uses in MY hair." He reached into his own jacket and pulled at a small tube. "Use this… but sparingly. It doesn't take much and it's expensive."

Kiba took the tube between his finger and read the small print. "It's herbal." He opened the tube and lifted it to his nose. "It smells like tree bark and bat shit."

Sasuke gave him a droll look that came across as rude even with the tear tracks on his face. "It's called guano and it's highly prized in some areas. Now up a little on your palm and help me fix this mess." He turned his back to the dog nin and grumbled. "Honestly, you'd think you lived in the dog house with the other mutts."

Kibas eyes narrowed on the back of his kinky curly head. If he thought this ninja had no couth and no sense of style he was in for the shock of his life.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Kankuro moaned into his arm as the long vibrators rotation slapped at his skin.

"This is the best massage I've ever had. If I'd known about these things I'd get them for every holliday. Temari would LOVE them." He slurred and lifted his head just enough to look behind him.

Sakura smiled and poured more of the heated lubricant over his skin before moving on to the next toy.

"Oh I'm sure she would but I wouldn't give them out as just any gift. These would be special and private."

Kankuro gave a little "O" with his mouth that had Sakuras mouth watering before he rested his head once again on the bed.

"So, what do I get for showing you all these wonderful toys and what they can do for you?"

Kankuro sluggishly rolled to his side and blinked at the pink hair woman straddling his hips. His alcohol mussed brain knew what she wanted but he wasn't sure his body was up to the task.

"Well, I don't know if mister happy can get happy enough for you right now. What did you have in mind?" He blinked blurry eyes at her but smiled. He was all for it he just didn't think his limbs would cooperate.

Sakura decided he was just drunk enough. She moved off of his hips and rolled him to his back.

"Oh, I think I can get mister happy to stand up and play with us. Mind if I give it a shot."

Kankuro smiled sloppily. "Okay." And didn't complain once when she spread his legs to hang off the sides of the bed.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Anko stood on the steps of Genmas apartment and adjusted her shoulder straps. So the stringy haired pervert thought he was going to one up her, did he. Well, she'd just see about that.

Not bothering to knock she opened the door and walked past a couple of doors with very interesting sounds issuing from them into the main living area. A group of young shinobi sat around on futons and cushions watching a movie. Kakashis face was nearly plastered to the screen. Her target, however, was too busy to watch any move. No, Genma had his tongue in young Shinos ear and his hand up his shirt. She saw his wrist twitch slightly and Shino bit his bottom lip to, most likely, hold back a groan. She had to hand it to the man. He was good.

But she was better.

"Anko Mitarashi?"

She looked down to see Rock Lee sitting crossed leg on the floor staring at her shoes. Other heads turned at the call of her name. A few looking nervous.

"Can I help you?" She glared down at the green jounin but he simply continued to stare at her feet.

"May I ask you a question?" Lee replied curiously.

Anko rolled her eyes but nodded. When she realized he'd not look up to see it she simply said, "Yes."

"Why do your boots have handles?" Lee reached out a hand and touched the long think straps on the sides of the knee high boots.

Every looked down at Ankos boots.

"Damn, Anko! They need handles to ride now?" Genma called from the other side of the room, his hand still up Shinos shirt.

"Look you sick…" She stopped when she felt Lees fingers touch her leg at the top of the boot.

"What kind of material are these made from? It looks very sturdy." He finally looked up at her.

For a moment she really didn't know what to do or say. Then she grinned a very wicked grin.

"You wouldn't." Genma called.

Anko held a hand out to the mini green beast of Konoha. "They are very sturdy. Want to try them out?"

Lees face lit up even as Genmas fell and several people in the room looked shocked and very appalled.

"Would you allow me to try them on? That would be wonderful! Thank you very much!" He stood and grinned with blinding intensity.

Ankos eyes widened only slightly at the thought of the wide eyed ninja in high heel boots. But her thoughts moved to more fruitful fields at his eager expression.

"Sure thing. In fact, I have another pair at home that might be right up your alley." She looked in close. "Care to join me?"

"Don't do it man." Naruto called from behind Hinata.

"I'm not sure his mind can take it, Anko." Genma cried out.

"He's right. Poor guys had fluffer on the brain all day." Ino said.

"You got any food at your place?" Choji drunkenly asked.

Neji hide behind the couch while Shino tried to bat Genmas hand away enough to form a coherent sentence. TenTen just shook her head and sighed.

"Will you all be quiet? I'd like to here the dialogue." Kakashi complained.

"I would be honored if you would show me this wonderful training gear." Lee bowed and offered his arm to Anko.

Everyone watched then walk down the hall and listened as the door shut.

"Well damn." Ino mumbled.

"I know." TenTen moaned.

"He'll never be the same again." Choji shook his head and stood to find more food.

"You know," Shino slapped at Genmas hand again and moved out of arms reach. "This could be good for him."

Everyone, including Kakashi, looked to the wiry haired bug nin.

"Well, it could."

0.0.0.0.0.0

Tsunade stormed from her office in a fit of rage.

"Where Are They?!"

The stand in chuunin cringed and fell back a few steps before attempting to stammer out that no one had found Izumo or Kotetsu. This only angered her farther and she lifted the small desk by the wall and tossed it out a window.

"Shizune! Get in here!"

The poor man swallowed and stepped behind a potted plant before telling her that Shizune had been out of the office all morning and no one had been able to locate her either.

Tsunade turned red and steam poured from her ears. The chuunin fled.

"That's It!"

She slammed her office door and stomped from Hokage tower with long purposeful strides.

"If you want something done you've got to do it yourself."

0.0.0.0.0.0

Temari leaned her head on Shikamarus shoulder and sighed as the two of them walked sedately down the main street.

"You want to go back to my suit. Kankuro won't be back for a while and Gaaras not due until tomorrow." She whispered playfully in his ear.

He smiled down at her with raised brows but both looked up quickly at a commotion toward the end of the road. People were scattering left and right as something or someone barreled through the crowd.

"Out of my way! Hokage coming through! Important business!"

Shikamarus eyes widened and he tried to turn them down an alley before they were spotted but got caught in an old woman's tote handles.

"So troublesome." He groaned as he watched Tsunade grin in his direction .

"What do you think she wants?" Temari asked looking a little skittish and actually standing a little behind him.

"I don't know, but whatever it is can't be good."

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**Yes, I know this is short but I'm trying to get back into the swing of it. I'll have more soon. Until then, hope you enjoy.**


	25. Chapter 25

**See I did write again in less than a month. Hooray for me!! Don't own Naruto.**

0.0.0.0.0.0

Kakashi lifted the next movie in the series and read the label.

"Kyuubi Dream VIII … there isn't a subtitle. That's a little odd."

Naruto shrugged as he shifted a sleeping Hinata in his lap.

"I never paid attention to that part of the process. Didn't seem like such a big deal. It's all the same thing anyway."

Kakashi gave a one eyed drool look to the blond idiot for his lack of literary and cinema decorum then slipped the movie into the player. As the opening credits rolled he resumed his seat and stuck his hand in Chojis popcorn bowl. The Akimichi heir had passed out not long ago and everyone had taken advantage of his unconsciousness to pilfer as much food as possible.

"Neji? Why don't you let me take you home?" TenTen soothed as she tried to coax the trembling Hyuuga from the corner.

Another yelling groan came from Genmas bedroom and Neji cringed, hiding his face in his knees. Sakura and Kankuro had been in there for some time now. No one was sure what she was doing to the puppeteer and it was hard to decide if it was pleasant or painful from his reactionary shouts, screams, and groans.

Shino and Genma had taken the seat across from Hinata and Naruto. The blond had thought to protest but couldn't come up with the energy to do it. Sure it freaked him out but it wasn't as if the two were being gross now. As long as they kept the heavier stuff out of his face he'd be fine with it. Or at least that's what he told himself so his girlfriend wouldn't kick his ass.

"Did it have an overview or anything? Sometimes they give you a little preview of the movie on the back." Ino asked from her place draped over Akamaru. The nin dog left the room holding Kiba and Sasuke. With the way the Uchiha had been carrying on before she couldn't blame the poor guy.

Akamaru hadn't been able to stand the stench of Sasukes hair gel and head fled the room as soon as possible. He didn't care about style. Anything that smelled that bad wasn't meant to be put on the body unless you wanted to scare the bitches away. He would not geld himself for style. Humans were stupid.

"Anyone heard anything from Sasuke lately? They've been awfully quiet." Genma asked staring at the wall.

"Maybe Kiba killed him." Ino replied.

"We'd never get so lucky." Shino muttered.

Genma glared at the wall. "Well, if he did I hope he didn't get blood all over my furniture. It's too damn hard to get out and I can't get than material anymore."

Kakashi shook his head and turned up the volume.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Sasuke was fuming. What was taking so long! Kiba should have been done long before now. He'd have done it himself but there were no mirrors in this room and he wasn't leaving it until his hair looked presentable. It was humiliating enough to have this secret exposed but to find out the brother he had both hated and admired for years was the pillaged not the pillager was mortifying. He'd have to find him soon and kill him to save the Uchiha reputation from yet another of his brother's bad decisions.

Kiba was having a blast. As Sasuke brooded over his general state of being, the Inuzuka played havoc with the Uchihas hair. He was currently demolishing the Shikamaru 'broom stick' look and going over the list of hair styles he'd already tried. He picked up the tub and squeezed a generous amount into his hand before diving back into Sasukes now sticky hair.

Thus far he had tried devil horns, Moegi style pig tails, tall thick spikes all over, Mohawk spikes down the center of his head, and Kibas personal favorite thus far, Itachi style! At one point he'd had the scissors in his hand, more than ready to clip his way through the knotted mess but had thought better of pissing off a man with the Sharingan. He might find himself believing he's a flea on Akamarus back during his next flea dip one day.

Kiba heard Sasukes nearly inaudible huff and decided he was near his limit on patience. Running through his options he stopped on a cartoon he'd once seen and a style that fit with Sasukes personality if not his person preferences. Quickly he tossed the empty tube on the pillow behind him and squished his gooey hands together.

This was going to be fun.

0.0.0.0.0.0

"Do we have to go with her?" Temari asked as they followed the now psychotically cheerful Hokage to Genmas place.

"I think we may need a voice of reason if everyone is still exploring the boundaries of inappropriate social behavior." Shikamaru explained.

"You mean if half the group is still naked or having sex on the kitchen counters?" She asked sarcastically.

He turned to her with a classically bored expression. "Yes."

They picked up speed to catch up with the blond but stayed a few steps behind in case she turned on them.

"Uh… Shika?" Temari stopped in the center of the road. Shikamaru tried to drag her forward but she wasn't budging.

"Come on, Mari! She's getting way ahead and…" His eyes caught what she was looking at and he too stopped and stared.

"Is that… Rock Lee?" The fan wielder asked.

"Is that Anko?" Shikamaru blinked several times.

"Why is Lee wearing heels?" Temari squinted then her eyes widened. "Those boots have handles on them." She whispered.

"Seriously?" Shikamaru squinted as well then looked back at Temari.

Both shinobi looked toward the Hokages retreating back. Thinking. A few minutes later, Tsunades back disappeared around a corner and Temari and Shikamaru headed in the opposite direction to see what other interesting things Lee was wearing.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Kakashis face was glued to the screen when Sasuke and Kiba finally rejoined the group. No one looked up to great them. The eighth movie dealt in fetishes and there were was a great deal of leather, whips, chains and devices most of them didn't even know existed. "_Everyone is learning something new today_," Kakashi had informed them, then cranked up the volume to cover up Kankuros screams.

Sasuke moved to his former spot on a pillow by Ino. The mind swapping blond glanced his way with no comment then did a double take. Her eyes slowly scanned his hair before a snigger broke loose from her closed lips. Hinata glance down at the woman then let out a snort of her own as she took in Sasukes new look. This got Narutos attention. The Jinchuriki was less than subtle in his appraisal.

"What the hell happened to you?!"

The movie switched to a bar scene as Kakashi spared a look for his former student. Then paused the video and turned around completely. He lifted his forehead protector, revealing the sharingan, and continued to decipher Sasukes head.

"Nothing happened to me." Sasuke said calmly and stared around the room at everyone.

"I think you need… anyone got a mirror?" Ino asked.

Sasuke started to get an inkling of what the problem might be and turned around in time to hear Kiba yell, "I'm taking Akamaru for a walk!" before the door slammed shut behind him.

"Son of a…" Sasuke stood to the sound of sniggers and chuckles, walking toward the bedroom door.

The was a deep groan as the door opened and Sasuke disappeared inside.

"What the hell happened to you?" Sakura yelled. There was no response from Kankuro.

"Nothing. You're thing is slipping." Sasuke replied.

"Oh Shit!" Sakura said with feeling and moments later Kankuro yelped and screamed.

Genma narrowed his eyes from his place on the futon and started to stand. Shizune came running, pale and wide eyed through the bedroom door. A second later the front door opened and closed. Genma had just made it to the bedroom door when Sasuke screamed.

"What the hell did he do to my hair?!"

Genma ignored him. "I thought I told you not to go through that box!"

"A little privacy here!" Sakura cried.

"This is MY room!!" Genma yelled back.

Sasuke pushed past him and barreled back into the room. Breathing hard and shaking with fury, the Uchiha stood staring at the group of mirthfully shaking shinobi. White flakes drifted to his shoulders as the gel dried from paste to plaster. The hair style once reminiscent of a duck butt now stood straight in the air, flaring small uneven pieces at the tip.

"Vegeta!" Naruto yelled.

"What?" Kakashi asked, still looking for whatever genjutsu could do something that awful to hair.

"From that old cartoon. Dragon something. Vegeta was a bad guy turned good."

"Oh yeah! I remember that!" Ino perked up. "He had the bride-of-Frankenstein hair going on!"

"That's it!" Naruto called again.

Genma jumped as Shino touched his shoulder, having snuck up on him during Sasukes tirade.

"And he was really short." Hinata continued, also remembering the battle heavy cartoon.

"And he had a superiority complex." Ino added. "And a really bad attitude."

"Right. And he was friends with Goku who was lower in rank but stronger than him." Hinata nodded.

Sasuke stared at the group, his color growing higher by the moment.

"You know. I think the style works for him." Ino nodded in approval.

"You think?" Naruto asked earnestly.

Shino, who'd been looking over Genmas shoulder into the bedroom, frowned at the older man and pointed inside the door.

"You've been holding out on me?"

Genma stilled and looked to the bug nin as Sasuke finally lost it and dove for the futon.

"Hello!! Could you close the damn door! I'm working here!" Sakura yelled from the bedroom.

"OH YES!!" Kankuro screamed.

"Well, well, well. Looks like I'm missing one hell of a party."

The entire room went still.

"Awe! Don't stop!" Kankuro cried.

Tsunade raised a brow and started for the crowded room. Shizune stumbling along behind her.

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**Well, another chapter down. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always welcome.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry to keep you all waiting. Sand in the Leaves has been talking to me. I'll be trying harder but I'm going to be moving in two weeks so don't get mad if it takes me a while to catch up. Anyway, enjoy!**

0.0.0.0.0.0

The room had frozen at the sound of their Hokages sugary sweet voice. Everyone knew this couldn't be good so no one moved; hoping beyond hope that they wouldn't be noticed if they didn't make any sudden movements.

"Sasuke? Is there a reason you're trying to choke Naruto? I mean, other than the usual." Tsunade asked.

Sasuke slowly released Narutos throat and turned to face her. His patented Uchiha sneer was in place and he was read for the verbal brawl when he suddenly choked and bent over at the waist before dropping to his knees and heaving for breath. Behind him, Hinata indulged in a sneer of her own as she pulled her leg from between Sasukes and settled it back on the couch.

Tsunade blinked at the normal shy girl, then at whom she was cuddled up to and how the blond was cuddling back. In her mind she acknowledged approval before sweeping her gaze over the rest of the room. Her eyes came to rest on Neji and she blinked a few times before making her way closer.

"What happened to him?"

TenTen, against her better judgment, looked up to answer the question.

"ANBU happened." TenTen cringed when Tsunades eyes narrowed.

"What was he doing with ANBU?" The Hokage ground out quietly.

Naruto, showing none of the prudence and fear everyone felt he should show for their sake if not his own, got to his knees and looked over the back of the futon.

"It was my fault Granny Tsunade. Leiko came looking for me and…"

Tsunade spun around so fast the wind of it actually lifted some people's hair. She stared in horror at Naruto for a moment.

"Is this the same Leiko Jiraiya runs from when he sees her?"

"One in the same." Naruto replied.

"He needs a medic." She turned back to Neji who was cowering in the corner.

"COME ON SAKURA! WHY'D YOU STOP?!" Kankuro yelled in a slurred voice.

Whatever Sakura replied was muffled as Genma pulled the door closed, trying to keep the Hokages attention off of him. And he knew this had something to do with him, otherwise she wouldn't have come to his apartment.

"Sakura already took care of it." Ino piped up.

"It doesn't look like she took care of it." Tsunade angrily moved closer to the whimpering Hyuuga.

"Neji. It's alright. Kankuro likes it. You don't have to worry." TenTen murmured softly.

"Well," Naruto shrugged and one side of his mouth tipped in a sloppy grin. "She took care of the parts that hurt the most. He wasn't a very good patient. He yelled a lot."

Hinata sat quietly twisting her fingers. Choji snored. Ino helped Sasuke into a sitting position though she didn't know why she was bothering. Genma and Shino stood very, very still. Kakashi ignored them all and watched the movie.

"Shizune?" The dark haired medic cringed but stepped forward. "Take care of Neji. See if you can get him to let you do more than he let Sakura."

Shizune nodded and bent down to help the young Hyuuga as Tsunade turned toward the front of the room and Genma. She was heading straight for the senbon user and his buggy cohort when she glanced at the screen… and froze.

"Is that… what I think it is?"

"Oh shit." Ino stood slowly and began to back away.

"Where… Did… You… Get… This… MOVIE?!"

Kakashi pressed the pause button just as a leather clad red head stepped up to a table showing a very impressive if thin silhouette and a tight backside. Everyone held their breath as the copy ninja turned around to face a red faced Tsunade, his droopy eye looking bored of the whole situation.

"Shikamaru brought it." Choji hiccupped.

All eyes turned to Choji who'd managed to somehow have woken from his drunken stupor without really waking up. Ino considered running to save him but thought better of it. He'd left Shikamaru to his fate more than once today. She'd leave him to his.

"How the hell did Nara get this…" The flustered Hokage gave a sudden 'ah' then a very frightening grin. "So, Shikaku's been a naughty little boy." She cocked out one hip making everyone in the room jump then tapped a finger to her chin. "Well, I'll just have to have a talk with him." She looked around the room again then her eyes landed on Genma and Shino by the bedroom door. She grinned. "But right now…"

0.0.0.0.0.0

Shikamaru and Temari looked on in horrified fascination. After following Anko and Lee to a small tasteful cottage they slipped into the little garden in back and found the occupied rooms' window. Lees delighted laughter and constant talking should have tipped them off that they were in for an eyeful but they hadn't expected _this_.

"I have to say, Lee looks pretty good in a dress." Temari leaned back a little as the normally green clad shinobi pranced by the window in a pair of spiked heels and a sheer kimono.

"I didn't know they made dresses _that_ see through." Shikamaru whispered as he moved back into position. "And what exactly is that thing he's got on under it?"

"It's a bustier. In leather… I think. It's supposed to push your tits up." She leaned in a little closer and squinted her eyes. "I think they have rolled bandages in the cups."

"And what's that?" He pointed to the small scrap of black holding Lees more personal parts in place.

"Oh. That's a thong. I have no idea how he's staying in that."

Lee turned and Shikamaru looked decidedly ill. "He's not."

"Nice set he's got there." She admired. Shikamaru scowled.

Anko pulled something from the closet and started stripping. Lee turned away from the mirror to speak with her but the words died on his lips as he got a clear view of the snake ladies bare backside.

"_Sweet Hokage."_ Lee whispered audibly.

"I concur." Shikamaru murmured. Temari scowled.

The wind and shadow weilders watched as Lee slowly and rather gracefully moved in behind Anko. When his hands met her hips she shot up and turned a leering smile on him.

"Do we really want to watch what comes next?" Temari asked as a bare breasted Anko bounced her way to the bed with a bow tie around her neck.

"Someone needs to stand witness and besides…" He smiled and softly sighed. "… it'll kill Ino she didn't find out about it first."

0.0.0.0.0.0

"I'm not apologizing. It was completely consensual." Genma started as Tsunade moved slow toward him.

"He's absolutely right. In fact, I came on to him." Shino calmly pushed past Genma to step just in front of him.

"Uhm… What are you doing?" Genma pushed Shino just a little behind him.

"I'm standing with you." He replied, pushing gently back to the front.

"No." Genma grabbed the bug nins shoulders and physically moved him back. "You're trying to stand between me and the Hokage."

Shino just stared at him. At least he though he was staring at him. He grabbed the glasses and pulled them down his nose. Yep, he was staring at him.

"Nice eyes, Aburame." Tsunade said with approval.

Shino grabbed the glasses and pushed them back up his nose. Tsunade was right on top of them now and he once again tried to push in front of Genma. Genma just fended off his hands and legs as he turned to face the Hokage.

"You know, that really is cute but I have other matters to deal with." She put her hands by her sides and studied the couple. "Have you told his father yet?"

Genma went white. Shino looked smug.

"No. He hasn't. And neither have I." The he replied and patted Genma soundly on the back.

Tsunade gave them a calculating look. "That ones chancy." She seemed to come to some sort of decision then nodded and smiled at them again. "Has Anko been here?"

The room at large, still in shock over having thrown Shikamarus father to the wolves, shook their collective heads and turned at the question.

A hoarse cry came from the bedroom causing everyone to jump. Annoyed, Tsunade looked around Genmas back as Kankuro moaned in apparent bliss then began begging in a slurred yet no less understandable voice. Neji began to cry audibly.

"For the love of…" Genma turned around and stuck his head in the door. "There's a ball gag in the box! Will you **please** put it on him?!"

Shino shook his head almost sadly. "Are you sure she knows what that is? She didn't look like she knew how to use the equipment she had to begin with."

Genma growled and went into the room.

"Anko came by a little while ago. She left with… Lee." Ino actually looked disturbed.

Tsunade rounded on her and she jumped. "Lee? Really?" The young blond nodded. "He wasn't even on the list." The Hokage mumbled. "I have so got this in the bag!"

Everyone looked at her like she'd grown a second head. Finally, after several moments of silent contemplation, Naruto gamely asked the question on everyone's mind.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Tsunade looked around, having forgotten where she was and who she was with. "What? Oh!" She smiled vaguely then waved a hand. "Nothing, nothing. Well, I have to be going. I'll see you later Shizune. Give me a report on what's his face and all that."

Everyone blinked dumbly as the front door closed on a giggling blond Hokage. All except Sasuke who'd finally finished quietly crying the throwing up in the kitchen.

"Alright. She's set. Now back to… where to she go?" Genma looked around confused as everyone attempted to close their nearly unhinged jaws.

"She just… left. Said something about Lee not being on a list and having something in the bag. What's she got in a bag that would make her so happy?" Naruto asked, puzzled.

Genma tossed his head back and groan. "The betting pool."

"What betting pool?" Kakashi asked. He was still holding the remote on pause.

"The one that asks who Ankos going to try and one-up me with. I had almost forgotten. Lee wasn't on the list."

"I remember now." Shino said blandly. "You said she would go for Naruto. And if I remember correctly Kakashi and Konohamaru were on the list as well."

Naruto was looking nervous until he heard his young protégés name. Then he turned green. "Konohamaru?"

"That's sick." TenTen sneered.

"That's Anko." Genma, Shizune and Kakashi said in unison.

A moment of silence followed as Nejis sniffling died down to snubs and everyone settled their minds around the last few minutes.

"Well, hopefully her good luck will not bring disaster to the village." He hit the remote and the red head in leather began to move again. "On with the show."

Kakashi leaned back in his seat while everyone else settled themselves to veg-out in front of the screen. Shino was just leaning back into Genmas chest when he sat up completely straight and gasped… along with everyone else in the room.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Sasuke whined trying to run his fingers through his hair and pulling out chunks.

"Oh, oh, please tell me he gets naked in the movie! **Please**, tell me he gets naked! TenTen moaned. Ino had a similar sentiment only not voice.

"Do you look that good in leather?" Hinata turned to Naruto with wide eyes and a curiously innocent face.

"I-I-I-I" The blond replied dumbly.

Kakashi was mystified. If this was what the cast was like for eight movies he could only imagine what the climax would be like. The thought made him smile so brightly he didn't even notice his mask getting wet from all the drool.

0.0.0.0.0.0

**I didn't reread so I hope there aren't too many mistakes. Please review if you can. I love reviews!**


	27. Chapter 27

"Should we tell Kankuro?" Ino asked while attempting to prop Choji upright and watch the screen at the same time.

A loud, muffled cry came from the bedroom.

"No. He's good right now. No need to spoil his fun." Genma replied, though he didn't take his eyes off the screen.

"But I thought he said Gaara wasn't in any of the moooooviiiies look at that ass!" TenTen moved as close to the screen as she could get.

"I want to be leather." Hinata mumbled.

"HEY!" Naruto cried horrified.

"The contrast is definitely... stimulating." Shino's hand snaked between his lower back and Genmas front. "Very stimulating."

The Kazekage of Suna moved with fluid grace between tables until he stopped in front of what appeared to be the current Hero of the movie. He took drink orders from the couple at the table then turned and sashayed across the room to the bar. The camera followed his movements, capturing the snug fit of his leather pants and shirtless vest as they hugged his swaying hips and ass.

"TenTen, you're drooling on the screen." Kakashi pulled a spare mask from his pouch and wiped the rivulet of spit before it dripped to the floor. "Someone get a towel."

"Naruto, get a towel." Hinata nudged the blond toward the edge of the couch without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Hey!" Naruto whined.

The camera panned away from the lean muscles of Gaaras arms to move back toward the main characters.

"Wait!! Wait!! No! You can't take the camera off of him! Put it back!!" TenTen screamed at the screen.

"Give it up, TenTen, he's gone." Genma said, not unkindly.

"Nooooooooooo!" TenTen dropped back on her heels and wailed.

"I think TenTen needs help." Ino blinked wide-eyed.

"You all need help." Sasuke grumbled as he pulled his fingers through his hair and came away with chunks of matted white. "Kiba is a dead dog."

"Kiba's not a dog and you aren't going to kill him." Kakashi leaned forward and gripped the back of TenTens neck to restrain her before she shattered the screen with her flailing fists. "I'm sure whatever happened was at least partly your fault."

"My Fault! MY FAULT!! Look what that bastard did to my hair!" Sasuke held out a clump of chalky white strands for everyones inspection. Ino cringed.

"That... is an unfair assumption." Choji spoke while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and yawning wide. "Just cause he's got no dad doesn't mean you have to call him names."

"Oh, he lives." Ino smiled at her teammate then looked back at Genma, her own eyes a little blurry. "Got any coffee?"

Genma pointed. "You know where the kitchen is." His voice cracked a little and he quickly dropped his hands to his lap hidden behind Shinos back. "Make... make sure it walks on it's own... oh don't do that."

Ino shook her head at the pleased expression on Shino's face and went to make the coffee. Choji yawned, hiccuped and settled back into his seat. A long sigh filled the room as TenTen watched the camera angle pan out from the main characters and once again capture Gaaras leather clad ass and bare, finely muscled arms.

"I think she's in love." Kakashi said on a sigh.

"I don't get it?" Naruto piped up, watching his friend move with just enough sway in his hips to be considered sexy without being girly. "Why didn't he tell us he was doing this and why did they put him in something that makes him look so skinny? It's so tight it looks like it's sprayed on and his so thin..."

TenTen spared a glance for the dense blond while Ino poked her head out of the kitchen to join Hinata in openly gaping at him. Neji continued to rock silently in the corner.

"This coming from the man who stripped naked and poked at least five women on camera." Ino remarked in awe.

Naruto blushed and scooted a little away from Hinata who was glaring prettily at him.

"Who cares!" He's not naked, therefore he's not getting any! So I'm not the only..." Sasuke blinked to the room at large and shut his mouth. "Never mind."

A rousing feminine scream followed by a low satisfied male groan came from the bedroom. Genma sighed then choked and grabbed the area between himself and Shino again.

"Sounds like their done." Shino commented quietly.

The bug shinobi smiled slightly and Genma groaned, dropped his head to the younger mans shoulder.

"C-could you p-p-please do that s-so-somewhere el-s-s-se?" Neji managed stutter from behind his raised knees.

"It's weird hearing it in a deeper voice." Choji mumbled and readjusted in his seat.

"My apartment... oh, right there... I can do what I waahahahahant don't stop." Genma ended on a whine.

"Yes, but the rest of us have to watch and we don't want to." Sasuke retorted as another chuck of hair came out in his hand.

"Then leave." Genma grated out.

The door to the bedroom opened and Sakura stumbled out in a bathrobe twice her size. Her smile reached from ear to ear as she stumbled into the room, barely looking at anyone, and waddled to the kitchen.

"I smell coffee."

Sasuke watched her walk by and his bottom lip quivered. Kakashi caught the look and sighed, turning away from the movie long enough to level his former student with a dispassionate stare.

"Yes, Sasuke, that's what a woman looks like when she's been thoroughly..."

"Are they allowed to do that in bars?" Hinata spoke over him, bringing Kakashis attention back to the screen where the two main characters were now on top of a corner booth and nearly stripped naked.

"It's a movie. Suspension of disbelief and all that." Choji yawned. "Like fan fiction."

0.0.0.0.0.0

Villagers looked on in fascination and horror as a shirtless Rock Lee cartwheeled around a slumped and smiling Anko Mitarashi. When Maito Gai stepped out of a specialty clothing store, arms full of green spandex suits, to see the site; he noted how perfectly formed each movement was and how well his former student moved in five inch heels. Giving a "good guy" thumbs up he yelled fluid and youthful praises to his young friend and teammate while rivers of tears streamed down his face.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Shikamaru trudged next to a shaky Temari, both heading back to Genmas apartment and some form of normalcy. Neither wanted to be alone at his house.

"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to purge... **THAT** from my mind." Temari floundered.

Shikamaru simply sighed. He wasn't sure he'd be able to wipe the memories away either.

"I just can't believe she got up and walked away from that."

"She limped away." The sand kunoichi shuddered. "I think he might have broken something."

"Nah. Ankos tough but still..."

"It was a little disturbing, baby. You have to admit that at the very least."

Shikamaru stopped and thought about it. "The drag maybe but the rest...?"

Temari stopped as well and raised a brow. "You wanna do that and you're going to have to find yourself a new partner." Her brow furrowed.

He shrugged and winked at her. "Too troublesome."

0.0.0.0.0.0

The villagers were treated to their second surprise of the day as a wrinkled Shikamaru Nara **ran** down the street followed closely by a fan swinging, foul language wielding Sand kunoichi who's face was nearly as red as the Kazekages hair.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Shizune watched, eyes wide, as her long time friend and companion gleefully signed paperwork and read over reports while whistling a rather happy tune and tapping her foot. Twenty minutes before they had walked into the tower. Ten minutes ago all the others had moved to other parts of the tower not knowing when this new happy Tsunade might spontaneously combust. Five minutes ago a messenger had left the office, sweating, with a sealed scroll. She had no idea what it was about.

"You killed someone didn't you? I'm going to walk into one of the conference rooms and there's going to be a dead body propped in a chair or legs dangling from a hole in the ceiling."

Tsunade looked up from the minutely smaller stack of papers with a serene smile. "Nope."

"You found out several members of the council are dieing of non-treatable diseases?"

Tsunade sighed wistfully. "That would be nice but no."

Shizune frowned. "Then why are you happy? You've had a lousy morning and..."

"Can't a Hokage just try and make the best of her day and be happy about it?"

"No."

Silence fell and The Hokage pushed her stack of papers aside to rest her elbows on the scarred desk.

"So? Why are you so happy?"

The blond watched her assistant with mild irritation but couldn't get rid of the smile. Not today. No matter what kind of sick games her youngest shinobi were playing and what kind of sick movies they were watching, nothing could ruin her day.

"Fine. At least tell me what the scroll was for."

"Oh that." Tsunades smile turned frightening. "That was a summons for the leader of the Nara clan. I have some things I need to discuss with him."

Shizune swallowed but didn't reply. She was only glad the feral smile wasn't turned on her. Neither would she remind her friend that she'd been in the movies herself and that had been the whole reason they'd been ban in Konoha. She sent up a silent prayer that Nara Shikaku would survive the meeting then turned back to her paperwork without another word.

Tsunade let her smile fall back into serene peaceful lines as she pulled over another stack of papers and started writing. She didn't mind a little work today. After all, she was feeling luck!


	28. Chapter 28

Kotetsu leaned heavily against a tree and massaged the stitch in his side. Izumo bent at the waist and heaved a few times before dropping to his knees.

"How far do you think we'll have to go?'' Izumo reached up and readjusted his headband.

Kotetsu simply shrugged. He didn't have enough air to answer yet. Both men looked back in the direction of Konoha then out toward the thick woods. Suna lay beyond those trees.

"Do you think we could get asylum there?"

Again, Kotetsu shrugged then pulled himself upright. A branch snapped behind them and both ninja took off in the direction of Suna. A moment later, their vacated spot was filled with three shinobi.

"They were here. Looks like they headed to the west."

"Shizune said words already been sent to Suna about them and the Kazekage's headed this way."

"Well, here's hoping they do a little of our job for us."

The three men took off into the trees.

0.0.0.0.0.0

_(Flash forward)_

"_I was beginning to think the camera man was a little off or a fangirl. Over the course of an hour, Gaara, who never spoke or took off a stitch of clothing, had been seen on screen multiple times and had even been shown while main characters were continuing the story line as voice over. I had no problem seeing the man walk around the screen since, though he didn't have anything to do with the plot, he didn't speak over the continued story line. But the other members of my group were becoming a distraction all their own..."_

_(Flaaaaaaaaash Baaaaaaaaaaaaack)_

Ino and Choji managed to push Naruto and Hinata from the long futon with little trouble. After all, the couple was staring gape-mouthed at Kankuro's naked backside laid out spread eagle at the rooms entrance.

"Wow. That was really cold." Choji glanced at the tanned sand puppeteer drooling on the hardwood.

"Doesn't look cold to me." Ino replied, handing her team mate a hot cup of coffee and admiring Kankuro's assets.

"TenTen. You're getting nose prints on the screen." Kakashi gripped the back of her shirt and pulled her back from the picture. The fog of her breath slowly faded from the surface as she whimpered.

Sasuke sat staring at the two clumps of hair in his hands. Large bald spot of shiny white scalp now showed all over his head. His spirits, severely deflated at the site of Sakuras relaxed and satisfied demeanor, had been completely annihilated with the introduction of a smiling, naked and equally satisfied Kankuro.

"Are you all just going to stare at him or is someone going to pick him up." He tried to sound put out but the words lacked any heat or conviction.

Naruto finally gained his composure and, taking pity on his team mate, pulled the sheet from the abandoned sleep mat and covered the nearly unconscious shinobi. Hinata pouted behind his back but reached back to pat the now nearly bald Uchiha on the shoulder.

"You can come out now, Neji. They went to the bedroom." Choji called.

A dark fall of silken hair peeked around the edge of the futon. Slowly, a shoulder emerged then a torso and finally linen clad hips. Neji peeked from behind the curtain of hair and sighed in relief. Genma and Shino were no where in site and the rest of the group seemed tame at the moment. His ass had finally stopped burning and now only ached a little and some of the bruises seemed to be yellowing. It wouldn't be long before he could go back to his normal life and act as if none of this had happened. Feeling more comfortable by the minute, he found a cushy spot on the uncovered sleep mat and closed his eyes.

A loud crash came from the front of the apartment and everyone went on alert. Shikamaru was laughing as he bounded into the room and dodged the people and objects on the floor to take cover on the other side of Kakashi.

"Perhaps this is a sign of things to come." Kakashi sighed and leaned back in his seat dropping his protector back over his eye. "Sharingan Kakashi: Human Shield."

Temari chose that moment to skid into the room, her fan held high and her face flaming. Her eyes were all for her wayward lover as she stalked through the opening and toward his cover.

"I'd suggest you start clarifying your answer." She growled.

Shikamaru simply shrugged. "Too much trouble." But he never stopped smiling.

Choji shook his head and sipped his coffee. "You really want to die don't you?"

Temari growled, lifted her fan, and tripped over the sheet covering Kankuro. She tumbled to the floor leaving Kakashi to save TenTen from her sailing fan.

"Why is she mad at you?" Choji asked as the slapstick performance unfolded.

Shikamaru had rushed over to Temari but started backing away at the site of her brother now uncovered and naked on the floor once more. "Why is Kankuro...?"

"You first." The larger shinobi interrupted.

Shikamaru backed up slowly as Temari regained her feet and looked down at her brother with gathering storm clouds in her eyes.

"She told me if I wanted to do what we saw Lee and Anko doing I'd have to find a new partner. I told her it was too troublesome and she got pissed. Guess I should have told her which would be too troublesome but this was so much fun."

"Yeah. You wanna die." Choji turned up his coffee and finished off the cup. "What were Lee and Anko doing?"

Shikamaru told them. In detail.

Kakashi dropped TenTen and the remote. Sasuke dropped his head into his hair filled hands and sobbed. Naruto pumped a fist in the air and exclaimed, "Way to go, Fuzzy Brow!" before tossing a possessive arm over Hinata and grinning from ear to ear. Hinata and Ino simply blinked and stared. Choji blinked repeatedly while Temari poked at her brother to see if he stirred.

"Whoa... that's..." Choji swallowed several times and licked his lips. "Whoa."

"Kakashi-sensei? Is something wrong?" TenTen waved her hand in front of Kakashi's face several times but gave up when she didn't get a response. She glanced over at Kankuro sprawled on the floor nodded in appreciation then caught site of her obsession on the screen and once again plastered her face to it.

"Ican'thearyouIcan'thearyouIcan't hearyouIcan'thearyou..." Neji curled tighter into a fetal ball and rocked back and forth with his palms pressed tight over his ears.

"You're turn." Shikamaru turned his attention back to the focus of his question. "Why is he naked on the floor?"

"Because Sakura rode him into unconsciousness." Ino stated plainly.

"What?" Temari didn't sound happy.

"And when she walked out of the room, Genma decided to take it back and grabbed Shino. Next thing we knew Genma had dumped Kankuro on the floor and slammed the door. He screamed something about respect and privacy then it got all quiet."

It was Shikamarus turn to look stunned. Temari looked murderous. Sakura chose that moment to step out of the kitchen where she'd hidden herself after the Gaara discussion.

"Oh. You're back." She sipped coffee with a smile then looked down and gasped. "What did you do to him? Why is he on the floor?"

"What did **I** do to him?" Temari went from anger to confusion as Sakura rushed over, grabbed the sheet and wrapped Kankuro up in it. While the pink haired woman sat on the floor and pulled Kankuro's head into her lap, Temari wared with her inner need to rip the bitches eyes out, not only for trying to have her man but also HAVING her brother, and the feeling that if she could make Kankuro smile that hard and sleep that well she couldn't be all bad.

"Oh yeah, baby. Come to mama!" TenTen cried and caressed the screen with first a hand then her tongue.

Kankuro opened his eyes to Sakuras worried face and smiled. Memories of the last few hours drifted through his brain and he sighed in appreciation of all the aches and pains he was going to feel for the next few days. He wondered briefly why his ass was cold and why there was so much noise in the room before he looked back and saw his sister...

"Temari?" And what his sister was now looking at. "Temari! No!"

"Is that... GAARA!!" Temari turned her full attention to the screen as Gaara leaned back over a table and was doused with water.

"I can explain! I was... wait. Did you say..." Kankuro sat up and looked at the screen. "What the Hell!!"

TenTen nearly passed out.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Gaara shivered violently and dropped his cup. Matsuri reached down and picked up the cup, eying her Kazekage critically.

"Are you alright, Kazekage-sama?"

Gaara rubbed his arms up and down then looked around the area.

"It was strange. It almost felt like someone poured ice down my back."

"You mean like someone walked over your grave?"

He shook his head and took the cup she handed to him. He had a bad feeling about this trip to Konoha. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was.

0.0.0.0.0.0

**I know this is short but I'm injured. Yard work and the never ending grape vine I'm trying to get rid of finally got my left shoulder and neck. Which sucks since I was going to do more this weekend. Oh well, enjoy the chapter.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello all! Know it's been a while. Hope this keeps you happy! Enjoy!**

0.0.0.0.0.0

Hinata rubbed small circles on Sasuke's back while Naruto held up the clippers.

"Just remember. It will grow back." The lavender eyed girl spoke softly.

Kakashi had paused the movie so that everyone could watch the new entertainment and give the sand siblings time to absorb the shock that their little brother and Kazekage was apparently a movie whore. At least Temari was taking it in. Kankuro was monitoring her reaction to see how she would react when she saw that **he** was in the movies, not just this one.

A metallic click and the slightly annoying buzz of the clippers sounded. Sasuke flinched and curled in on himself a little more.

"There's a really nice wig maker in town. Very discreet." whispered Neji, who'd gotten past his teammates wild sexual behavior in favor of someone else's humiliation.

"I always knew those were extensions." Ino reached for Neji's long, dark hair.

Neji jerked out of her reached and blocked her hand while a blush crept up his cheeks. Choji whistled low and looked everywhere but at Ino's now smiling face.

"Kakashi-sensei! PLEASE turn on the movie!" TenTen hung heavily around Kakashi's waist as she wailed and grappled for the remote.

Kakashi paid no attention to the weapons expert turned crazed fan girl other than to keep the remote out of her hand. Instead, his eyes were fixed on his former student as the poor boy whimpered and a large dollop of hair dropped to the floor.

_buzz buzz buzz_

"I understand why he wouldn't tell us about this." Temari motioned toward the screen though her baby brother wasn't currently on it. "I just don't understand why he **did** it?"

_buzz buzz buzz_

Kankuro shrugged. "Maybe he wanted to try something different. I mean, he's still getting used to all the attention he gets being Kazekage. Maybe, since this was on camera and not in person it was easier."

Temari nodded thoughtfully but not as if she agreed.

_buzz buzz buzz_

"Hold up, Naruto, I think he's stopped breathing." Shikamaru moved up behind the purpling Uchiha and gripped both his shoulders.

"You gotta breath, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled in the poor mans face.

"It's amazing really. His family is massacred by his brother. He fights his whole life to avenge their deaths, even going so far as to abandon his life in the village and go missing nin. He nearly looses his eyes and spends a year in prison..." Kakashi sighed and pressed his hand to the center of TenTen's face, giving her a hard push to topple her onto her ass. "but cut off his hair and he's willing to suffocate himself."

Naruto grabbed the pillow Sasuke had been biting and was now indeed attempting to smother himself with, and a small tug-a-war ensued. Frustrated with his friends show of cowardice Naruto gave one hard pull ripping the fabric and sending tiny white feathers spraying out over the floor and futon. Everyone froze.

Choji blinked at the scattered stuffing spread all over the floor. "You guys are in sooooo much trouble." And quicker than anyone his size should be able, Choji was down the hall and out the door.

"Man. What a drag." Shikamaru let go of Sasuke and, shoulders slumped, shuffled over to his girlfriend.

A thump came from behind the bedroom door. Naruto, Hinata, and Ino ducked to the floor and began trying to stuff the feathers under the futon. Neji ducked back behind the futon and made himself as small as possible. Kakashi turned a mildly annoyed eye on TenTen who'd taken control of the remote in his moment of distraction. Gaara was once again on the screen, wet hair gleaming in the multi-colored strobe lights.

"See, that's just wrong." Temari muttered, passing her eyes over the screen once again.

"What's so wrong about it? You should have seen Kanmfmfmfmf...", Shikamaru found his mouth stuffed with the puppeteers discarded hat, purple make-up and bits of hair now smeared and sticking over the lower half of his face.

"Kankuro! What the hell!?"

The puppeteer began to back away as the scene of the movie moved outside of the bar. A woman leaning against the side entrance wall was enveloped by a man in heavy dark leather. Temari glanced at the screen with a sneer then turned back to Shikamaru in time to miss the leather clad mans face before Gaara opened the door, thus interrupting the couple and making TenTen sigh blissfully.

The door to the bedroom opened and the group huddled around Sasuke scrambled to hide as much of the mess as possible while Kakashi turned with a crinkled eye smile on the head now poking from door.

"Hello, Shino."

Shino blinked at the huddled mass before the front door slammed open and Lee came bounding into the room. His hot pink high heels clashed with the green spandex tights but the slightly too dark make-up actually matched well with his gelled back hair.

"Hello my vigorously youthful friends!"

The door to the bedroom slammed shut.

"Goodbye, Shino." Kakashi called.

"Lee?" Neji peeked from behind the couch, his eyes wide and horrified.

"Yes, Neji! And I have found the most wondrous and liberating training! You must try it!" Lee struck his "nice guy" pose and Kakashi nearly lost what little food he'd managed to eat that day.

"Please. Make it stop." Hinata huddled around Naruto's bare shoulders and buried her face in the sleeveless vest.

"Lee?" TenTen, broken from her single minded Gaara quest, turned wide eyes on her teammate. "What are you doing?"

"Exactly!" Ino broke from the group and walked up to the painted beast. "Those shoes and that suit don't match! You're makeup is all wrong!" She eyed him critically for a moment. "The hairs good though."

Voiceless sobs could be heard from behind the futon. Naruto turned his eyes he was sure were bleeding away from his friend and fellow shinobi to locate the source. He was silent for a moment as he stared down at Neji's pale, still form and Lee expounded on the wonders of sexual role play and reversal.

"Um, guys..." The tanned blond turned back to the room at large. "I think we lost Neji."

0.0.0.0.0.0

"What was all the noise about?" Genma shifted in the sheets and stretched on his back.

Shino moved smoothly and gloriously nude back to the bed, taking the end to climb up instead of slipping in the side. "Nothing. Lee's here."

"Oh." Genma licked his lips around his senbon. "As long as they aren't tearing up the place or recking the furniture."

Shino stilled for half a second. Lucky for him, Genma was memorized by his slow crawl across the sheets and didn't notice the slip.

"Every thing's right were it belongs. No worries." The bug-nin smiled reassuringly. Again, Genma wasn't watching his face. "Lee's wearing heels and Sasuke's bald."

"Uh huh..." Genma reached out grabby fingers for the pale young shinobi.

Shino simply smiled at the simplicity of the male mind and climbed back under the sheets.

0.0.0.0.0.0

"Ask a man for help and this is what you get." Izumo muttered.

Baki turned his back on their muttering captives and walked back to report to his Kazekage. They'd caught the two leaf shinobi only an hour before. There were still no sign of their pursuers but they were sure to be along. In the mean time, those two had complained none stop and even asked to be shipped back to Suna if they were going to be prisoners.

"I take it they are unhappy with their situation?" Gaara asked as he hefted his gourd over his shoulder and settled his weapons pouch on his hip.

"Yes and no." The Kazekage gave him a confused look and Baki tried to explain. "It seems they don't have a problem being captured. It's being sent back to Konoha they object to."

Gaara raised a brow. "Did they explain why?"

Baki flushed and scratched the side of his head with his index finger. "Uh yeah. Something to do with the Hokage and a beating pool. Seems they were taking wagers on a recent... coupling and there was something about movies. They were squabbling so much I couldn't make out the details and I don't have the authority to torture them."

Gaara raised a brow.

"I know. It's demeaning. If this is the state of things in Konoha, I would seriously reconsidered our position in the alliance treaties."

Gaara shook his head. "I sent Temari and Kankuro ahead to settle our arrangements for the week. If it's simple gossip, I'm sure they will be able to tell us about it when we arrive." He turned his attention back to his preparation while Baki moved to give orders to the rest of their group.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Shikaku Nara stepped into the Hokages office with his usual lazy stride. The woman he was here to meet sat behind her desk, the stack of papers normal bending to the ceiling nearly half it's size now. He raised a single eyebrow at what must have been hours of work the village leader usual left untouched then shrugged and closed to the door behind him.

"You asked for me, Hokage-sama?"

His lazy smile faltered and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his belly when the blond lifted her head and graced him with a wickedly vicious smile.

"Hello, Nara." She stood slowly and leaned out over her desk. "You and I need to talk."

0.0.0.0.0.0

**It's short but here it is. I haven't proofed it so sorry for any mistakes. Have a good night!**


End file.
